Upon arrival, we then checked in our luggage before going into the private members lounge waiting for our flight to be called before boarding the aircraft.
She and I were sitting next to each other when the speaker announced our flight. Surprisingly enough, she hadn’t been making any eye contact, mean or otherwise, which in turn caught me off guard since this had been a common occurrence with her. She simply wouldn’t speak but her eyes would speak volumes. But today, it seemed that she was more subdued and more accepting having me around. “Can I carry the purse for you, Lil?”
Lily considered me a moment before I saw something flicker in her eyes. I wasn’t sure if it was anger or sadness because before I had the chance to read it, she lowered her gaze once more, minding her own business. “If you want to then sure...”
“I do,” I whispered in a low tone that she alone could hear. “I’m always here to help…in case you had forgotten that.” I hadn’t meant to sound needy and all that sentimental but I felt as if I had to say something to hint the kind of turmoil I’d been in for the past weeks. She all but ignored me then…but maybe having my parents around made her more pliable. And if I were a smart man, I’d exploit this opportunity until she would see the truth…that I hadn’t been cheating on her.
Had it been that horrible for me to come home a little drunk? For me I saw it as harmless habit, as long as I wasn’t overdoing it…which happened only several times these past weeks. But for Lily…maybe she saw something else. Not to mention the fact that I was still reluctant to speak about the kind of deal I had with Shannon to keep her at bay.
Maybe in due time…when Lily’s not so caught up with her own emotions; maybe we could discuss the problem together. But as for this moment, it looks like things will remain the same.
The entire journey to Mexico was indeed a calm one. There were no snide remarks or hissy demands coming from her. It was as if the woman that had tormented me for the past weeks had simply vanished, and replaced her, was this almost-meek woman who kept her feelings in her eyes, sparking fire whenever she thought I wasn’t paying attention. Her eyes were so expressive that I felt somewhat mesmerized by it. They said the eyes were the windows to ones soul, and on some level, I did believe that too. Humans were bounded to lie, it’s in our nature to…so our lips could utter lie after lie. Our bodies could pretend, enslaved by physical pleasures even though our hearts weren’t in it and still, we keep on because we’re wired to be selfish beings. But our eyes…they were a different matter. Those never could hide anything. Not pain. Not anger. Not love. Every emotion could be defined in its depths. It’s an overwhelming thought…but its one I’d be should meticulously watch out for.
If there was a way to win my wife back…it’s through reading her thoroughly. I shouldn’t pay heed to what she tells me or how her body blatantly rejects even a hint of touch from me…
I have to believe that somehow, the woman who was genuinely in love with me was in there somewhere.
And no matter what happens, I’d find a way to draw her out. Someway. Somehow.
I had five days to accomplish this mission or my marriage would be in the shitters in due time.
There was no way I’ll allow my child to grow up in a broken home. I wouldn’t wish that upon any child…
The world was cruel as it was, I didn’t need for it to have psychological issues because it grew up in a broken home. My child will grow up having millions of problems and issues to deal and tackle…but I wish to God mommy and daddy issues wouldn’t be one of them.
Chapter 16
Drake
Nostalgia hit me hard when I first caught sight of the beachfront villa. This place held so many secrets and memories that had shaped me as a man. It was also where I had Lily for the first time…right outside in the patio while she confessed how much she loved me. Asshole that I was at that time, I didn’t want to think about the consequences of what I did…but merely responded to her on a physical level without wanting to deal with my emotions because it was fucking chaotic. I was in my early twenties and my life was just about to start, and I couldn’t for the life of me think of anyone—not even a woman who I had cared so much for ruin that for me.
It was selfish. Fuck yeah, it was selfish to just walk out on her the next day after taking her virginity but hell—I just couldn’t face her. I just didn’t have it in me nor the capacity to deal with the aftermath of what had occurred between us. Especially not after experiencing something so powerful the night before being in her arms, as I slowly made love to her. It was a cowardly move but I couldn’t chance it. Had I stayed and explained it to her…I’d most likely end up being enslaved by her and the overwhelming feelings that were rushing through me then. Lily evoked powerful emotions out of me even then but I chose to ignore it. And in turn, I chose to ignore her.