Reading Online Novel

Loving Lily(16)



“Are you sure it’s not your period?” I tried to veer her head in that direction. Also, a part of me hoped that it was, too.

She shook her head, her eyes not straining away from the blood on her hand. “My period doesn’t start so heavily. This isn’t it, Drake. I know it isn’t!”

“Lily.” I stopped, paralyzed on the spot when she dropped her gaze just as we both witnessed something red run down her thigh. Alarm bells rang loudly in my ears as I realized what was happening here.

Fuck! That wasn’t good.

There was no mistaking the fear in her eyes when she brought them to my own. “Drake?” she sobbed. “I killed our baby again.”

No. Please, God, no. Not again.

Praying that the latter wasn’t true, I swiftly took charge, unwilling to say a word. I yanked one of the towels from the nearby holder before wrapping it around her body. I then dashed into her walk-in closet to fetch some clothes, fresh underwear, and those white liners Lily used at the end of her period, before heading back towards her.

In her sobbing shock, I was grateful she didn’t protest when I started dressing her tensed body. Once she was dressed, I immediately took one of my sweatpants and a shirt, past caring what I was wearing. All I cared about was Lily, and if there was a baby, then them, as well.

We were going to be fine. We will get through this just as we did last time, stronger than ever, I tried to reassure myself when I buckled her into her seat and while we drove to the hospital. It was the very same hospital we had come to the previous week for my father’s surgery, and the very same one she had almost lost me, and the very one where she had lost the baby because she was fighting for me.

However, this time around, this was all me. Had I known, I wouldn’t have done the things I had done last night with her, but fuck, how the hell was I supposed to know? I didn’t think she had even been aware she was pregnant.

Her cries, each ragged breath she took, immediately went straight to my heart. It was like a dagger, stabbing me with guilt each time. It was the worst place to be in, but I knew I deserved it. If she came out hating me, I wouldn’t even blame her for it.

“I’m sorry.”

What? I thought, almost hitting the brakes as I did a double take on her, giving her a penetrating look.

“Don’t …” I choked out. “Don’t say that. If someone is to be sorry, then it’s me, but before we draw up anything here, Lil, please, let’s wait until we have answers.”

She nodded. “Okay.”

I wasn’t sure what was going on anymore, but I did know I didn’t want false alarms and us already blaming each other without solid facts.

With one mission in mind, I went over the speed limit because I couldn’t take the fact that my wife hadn’t stopped crying, nor could I stand the fact that she believed the blood represented another lost baby. She was blaming herself, and knowing how she worked, she was already tormenting herself for what had happened. If there was any failure here, it was mine.

I wished I had the capacity to restrain myself when it came to Lily. Had I known that last night would hurt her, I wouldn’t have gone so far. Although, like I had said before, how was I to know?

Fright and utter disorientation settled inside me the second I drove into the emergency room and saw Lily was immediately taken off by the nurses, wheeling her away as they started asking her questions. I stood back, paralyzed from the fear of seeing her eyes mirroring my own uncertainty, giving me that pleading look, as if she was saying sorry for putting me in such position.

How could she? How could she give me that look? How could she solely blame herself and take responsibility for something I had done to her? I couldn’t understand how she could not see the truth—that it was me who was at fault.

Feeling utterly helpless and powerless, I couldn’t even fathom calling my mother, knowing well enough that she was dealing with my father’s recovery. And, as for Hannah, Lily’s mother, she would immediately call on my mother because it was what they did—always notifying each other of whatever was happening in their lives. I knew she meant well, but I was convinced Lily and I couldn’t handle any of that interference, not just yet. Not until she and I had personally dealt with it first.

Looking around, the heaviness in my heart gnawed deeper. Would there ever come a time that this hospital wouldn’t represent sorrow? It seemed that, whatever bad luck life handed to us, this particular place partook in it for some reason. Maybe someday, there would be joyous memories that overshadowed the bad ones.

Someday, perhaps.

*

“Mr. Tatum? Mr. Drake Tatum?”