Grace stepped into the elevator and set the box at her feet for the ride to the lobby of her building. When she stood, her reflection stared back at her from the shiny metal panels on the elevators walls. No matter which way she turned Grace couldn't escape the eyes of the heartsick girl in the face of a woman trying to live a dream she'd had for too long. She was doing the right thing. It was Luke's decision to make if he didn't want to be a part of her life. All she could do now was tell him how much she needed and wanted his friendship. The rest was up to him.
The elevator door slid open and she stepped off and crossed the lobby. The doorman, Manny, opened the door then stepped to the curb to hail a taxi for Grace. A cab pulled up to the sidewalk and its handsome occupant climbed out looking sophisticated in a navy suit. He was holding a cardboard box and wearing an expression of resignation. The sight of Luke outside of her home made her heart leap with hope. Had he changed his mind? Grace prayed that was case. Luke was so absorbed in his own thoughts that he passed her without looking up.
"Hey," she said almost shyly. Luke noticed her then. He looked down at her from his impressive height with sad brown eyes.
"Hi." Luke indicated the box he carried. "I was just returning some of your things. I, ah, I wasn't sure if you would still be here or not." His expression turned hard and he looked away. Grace's heart sank. There was nothing of her loving, affectionate friend in the man before her.
"You could have called to be sure, instead of wasting a trip." It came out more harshly than she'd intended. A lump was forming in her throat. Before it closed completely and the tears began to fall, she stepped forward and placed the box in her arms at Luke's feet.
"I was actually just on the way to your office to return some of your things. I spoke to your assistant to be sure you'd be in today." She took the box of her belongings he held and stepped back.
The taxi Luke had exited was still waiting at the curb. He looked at the vehicle and back to the box of her belongings with indecision. He wanted to go, but his gentlemanly sense of honor wouldn't let him. Grace blinked back tears. He really was walking out of her life . . . or was she walking out of his?
Grace didn't want Luke to feel obligated to remain a second longer than he wished to. "Manny," she called to the doorman. "Could you call someone to grab this box and carry it up for me?"
"Yes, ma'am, Ms. Yates." He smiled and whipped out a phone to buzz the desk inside.
"Thank you, Manny." She turned back to Luke and found him studying her. His eyes were still chilled but there was hurt lurking there, too.
"I just can't do this, Grace. I can't," he told her, and his voice gave a telling crack at the end.
"I love you, Luke. You know I do. Please . . ." But she didn't know what she was asking him for. Please what? Please, don't do this? Please, can we still be friends? Please, take back everything you said so I don't have to lay awake at night wondering what could have been if I'd let you in at any point during the last seven years? She didn't know. And it wasn't fair of her to ask him to do any of those things. She'd been selfish enough. It was time to let this wonderful, giving, perfect man who had always been there for her, go. She didn't deserve his devotion. And she wouldn't ask for it any longer.
She cleared her throat and squared her shoulders. "I understand. I'm sorry for hurting you, Luke. I hope you know that was never my intention."
Manny opened the door and a uniformed employee stepped out to retrieve her box. Grace nodded her goodbye to Luke. The urge to at least hug him was nearly overwhelming. Instead of embarrassing herself by crying on his shoulder, Grace turned away. She nearly made it to the door before a pair of strong arms wrapped around her from behind. She gripped his forearms, the only part of him she could reach. Luke held her tight with her back against his chest and breathed deeply, taking in the scent of her hair. He brushed his face over the top of her head. Grace broke. The tears would no longer be contained. This was really goodbye.
"I love you, Grace, too much to watch you love someone else. I'm the one who's sorry. I wish I could be a stronger man for you. I just can't." Luke placed a gentle kiss on her temple. He released her and swiftly walked away.
Grace couldn't bring herself to turn around and watch Luke go. The sound of the taxi door slamming behind her got Grace's feet moving. Standing there weeping would do her absolutely no good. She'd made her choices and Luke had as well. She had things to do before the movers arrived. Keeping busy was the best thing. It was the only thing now.
TEN
Grace fidgeted in her seat on the plane and played with her huge, yet elegant engagement ring. She was heading back to Seattle a day early. She had big news to share with Jack and she needed to do it in person. Grace was nervous and she wondered how her news would affect their relationship. She was anxious to see Jack and ready to get their new life together started. They talked on the phone several times a day but they'd been apart for two weeks and Grace didn't want to wait another day.
The moving company took her things that morning and she headed for the airport as soon as they pulled out of the street. She hadn't told Jack she was on the way. It was a surprise. He expected to pick her up at Sea-Tac the next evening. When Grace called Rachel she'd been more than happy to aid and abet Grace by picking her up at the airport and giving her a ride to Jack's.
"Oh, thank God!" Rachel had exclaimed. "He's been such a cranky bastard since his last visit to New York. I can't wait to see his reaction!"
Grace had to wonder if Jack was cranky because he missed her, or because she'd decided to get her own apartment. She now had reason to rethink that decision and she truly hoped Jack would still welcome her in his home.
Grace was exhausted on the airplane but a rush of excitement had her ready to run when she landed in Seattle. Rachel greeted her with a big hug and café mocha. The woman already knew her too well. With her luggage stowed in the back of the minivan they got on the road. During the ride to Jack's they talked about the ad Rachel and Nina had posted for applicants to fill the position of Grace's administrative assistant. Rachel was excited to get Grace onboard and comfortable as soon as possible. They decided Grace would start in two weeks. That would give her some alone time with Jack before things arrived and time to begin unpacking and get at least semi-settled.
They couldn't park in front of Jack's house today. There was usually a parking space out front but today a motorcycle was parked in that spot so Rachel drove past his home and parked a few houses down the street. Grace had the silliest urge to duck down in the seat and hide, just in case Jack was outside. She giggled to herself. She was giddy with excitement and joy at being home at last.
"Why don't we go get some dinner? There's a great deli around the corner. You can compare it to the delis in New York. You must be hungry." Rachel examined her nonexistent watch. "Jack will have already eaten by this hour. You know he won't set you free once he gets his hands on you." Rachel smiled a bit too widely and started the minivan's engine again. If Grace didn't know better she would think Rachel was more nervous than she was about surprising Jack.
Grace opened the door and hopped out of the minivan. "No way, you silly woman, I need to see my man. Give me just a second. I don't want him to see us unloading my bags and ruin the surprise. I'll go tell him I'm here before we get the bags."
Grace hurried down the sidewalk and bounded up the steps to Jack's front door. To her relief it was open. She contained another nervous giggle. Hopefully, Jack would be in the shower. That would be a great place to creep up on him. She wondered how long Rachel would wait before she started unloading Grace's luggage on her own. If she was too long maybe Rachel would just go home. Grace should have thought of that before going inside. They could have gone to Rachel's house the next day or maybe even the day after that to retrieve her things. She had a feeling she wouldn't be in need of clothes for a while anyway.
Jack wasn't on the ground floor so she quietly tiptoed up the stairs. He wasn't in his bedroom and there was no water running in the dark master bath. Grace heard Jack's voice and entered his home office expecting to find him on the phone. He wasn't in there either. She heard him again and moved to the window. Her heart did a happy little dance when she saw Jack on the back lawn, but he wasn't alone. He was speaking to someone she couldn't see. Whoever he was conversing with stood under the porch roof created by the balcony off of Jack's bedroom.