Loving Him Off the Field(91)
“You were just an assistant. When you’re the one calling the shots, asking the questions, and trying to coax the right answers out, it’s not so much fun as a big puzzle that you’re not allowed to lose.” Her eyes sank closed and she nudged at his wrist with her other foot. “Switch, please.”
He did.
“Do you miss him when he’s gone?” she asked quietly after a minute had passed.
“All the time. He’s a cool kid.” He waited for her to shift and settle back down. “He loves Legos and the Avengers. He’s awesome with numbers, but hates spelling. Identical to me when I was that age.”
“He’s exactly what I think of when I try to picture you as a kid.”
“You’ll meet him next visit.” When she didn’t answer that, he looked at her. She was watching him with intensity, but no hint of where her mind was heading. “If you want to, that is. Do you like kids?”
“I do, for the few I’ve had interaction with.” She slid her feet from his lap and sat up, putting a distance between them he didn’t care for. “Killian, I feel like we’re skipping a dozen steps here. There’s still stuff I don’t know, that you don’t know, that—”
“I know you never would have run the story about Charlie, even before we first made love,” he interrupted, wanting to get through the worst of it before she could argue. “I know I should have trusted you sooner. I know your job and my job together might make things awkward from time to time, and I know I don’t care.”
“Killian—”
“I know that the last week without having you near me sucked so much, I was ready to come kidnap you in the middle of the night just to have you near me.”
She breathed in deeply, but didn’t try to interrupt.
“And I know I love you,” he finished quietly, watching her eyes widen in shock. “I know I could have really broken something forever—or maybe I did—and I’m too stubborn to admit it. But I know I won’t give up on us yet.”
When she just watched him, leaning forward a bit as if anticipating another round, he nodded. “Okay. So . . . that’s what I know.”
That’s what I know? He’d had a week to prepare for seeing her again, and the best closing line he could come up with was, That’s what I know?
“Do you want to know what I know?” she asked primly, not reaching for him.
Damn. “Maybe,” he said warily. She laughed, and he prayed it was a good sign.
“I know you were hiding your son for good reason. I know your son’s needs, wants, and overall well-being come first, no matter what. I know you were doing what you thought was best, and I can’t fault you for it. Yes, it hurt to realize you didn’t trust me, but I know I’m not a parent, and until I am, I won’t understand the level of protection you feel for your own kid and how far that would push me.”
It was good. It was damn good so far. He started to haul her into his lap, but she stood and evaded him.
“I know I’m not done,” she said with enough bite he didn’t give chase. His butt sank back down into the worn cushion. “And I know we have a long way to go, you and I.”
“Are we done with the ‘I know’s’?” he asked irritably.
She scowled. “You started it.”
“I know,” he said without thinking, then rolled his eyes when she snorted a laugh. “Come here.” He bounded off the couch and tackled her, taking her down onto the mattress of the bed. Tiny apartments had their advantages. The bed was always mere steps away. Laying on their sides, he ran his hand from her shoulder to her hip, pulling her into him. Even their emotional conversation couldn’t staunch the erection he seemed to perpetually have around her.
“I love you,” she whispered, and kissed him softly. “Sorry, I’ll rephrase. I know I love you.”
“Freckles,” he growled, then rolled over her and pinned her to the mattress. “My having a kid doesn’t freak you out?”
“He’s a child, not an alien.” She blinked up at him. “Right?”
Killian punished the question with another kiss, this one long and sensual and so charged it was torture to break it off.
“We’ll ease into it. He sounds like a cool kid. I’m not looking to replace his mom, since it sounds like his mom’s not too bad. Maybe a little flakey,” she said, and he smiled at that. “But I’m not out to replace anyone. I just want to stand beside you.”
“That’s where I want you.” He glanced at her tripod, still set up, though empty of her camera that was now charging on her desk. “If those two knuckleheads can work out a relationship, there’s got to be a way for us.”