Loving Her(9)
We’d been through Hell, and I’d missed my family; Sunday dinners with everyone together and watching all the cousins growing up, being the best of friends.
We spent the first night cuddled in our king size bed, three kids in the middle, with me and Miranda on the outside edges. Sure, I wanted to be alone with my wife, but we’d have our time eventually. Right then we needed to feel them close to us, safe and healthy. With Bella needing her rest, my mom offered to come over and give us some time alone, but neither of us were willing to let her out of our sight.
She may have been home, albeit at any time something could have gone wrong. I’d never have forgiven myself if that happened.
I’ll never forget waking up that second day and seeing her smiling at me. “I’m glad I’m home, daddy.”
“You are?” I started tickling her lightly, getting her to giggle.
Realizing that I still needed to be gentle, I stopped and kissed her with my stinky morning breath. It was just like her to come back at me with a wet finger to my inner ear. The Wet Willy felt gross, but I loved that my daughter was a chip off the old block. “Got you back!”
I could hear the boys in the living room and knew it was only going to be a matter of time before they came in and interrupted my alone time with Iz. I sat up and patted her on the leg. “Listen, kiddo. I know you’re getting older and you feel like you can do a lot yourself, but nothing is more important to me than your life. You need to be careful when you’re outside, especially when you’re alone. I’m going to get you a cell phone, so if you’re ever in trouble you can reach me or your mom. Understand?”
All she heard was that she was getting a cell phone. She hugged me. “Thank you, daddy.”
I loved that she still called me that. One day soon it would always be dad. I liked daddy the most because it reminded me that she was my little girl. Imagining that and almost losing her made me instantly upset. We’d come so close to losing her. “I just love you so much, Iz.”
“I’m goin’ to be okay, you know.”
I didn’t want her to see me sad or scared, so I kept the smile on my face. “I know.”
Izzy put her head on my arm and hugged it. “Can I tell you secret?”
“Sure.” I thought it would be something legitimately important; perhaps something between the two of us about a surprise.
“I didn’t miss Jake and Jax that much.”
I started laughing, thinking about how she’d had me and Miranda to herself for a whole month. “Let’s keep that between us, okay?”
She giggled and stood up off the bed. “Okay.”
When I came out of the bedroom, I found Jax and Jake both standing on opposite ends of the couch, holding the remotes to their video game. They were staring at the television as if they’d been put into a trance. “How many times have you been told not to stand on the furniture?” I scared the piss out of them.
At the same time, without looking away from the game they were playing, I watched them plop down on the cushions. They went back to talking to each other like they hadn’t just gotten yelled at.
Miranda was in the kitchen, sipping on a cup of coffee. I went in, took a sip of hers, and pulled her into my arms. She kissed me and looked over to see Iz sitting in-between her brothers. “It’s so good to see her here at home. Maybe we can finally start gettin’ back to normal.”
“What’s normal in this house?”
Miranda laughed, but kept looking at the kids. “As normal as it gets.”
Just as I started to agree, I heard something crash. We fled into the living room and saw that a glass of chocolate milk had been pushed off the table, because Jax was standing up on the couch again. Not only had the glass shattered, but there was chocolate milk all over the floor, furniture and wall. “I told you to get your ass down!”
Miranda grabbed paper towels and the dustpan, while I chased a scared kid into his room. When I heard his door slamming, I went back out to help clean up the mess. Izzy was bent over, helping her mother pick up the bigger shards. “Go sit down, Iz. I’ll help Mom clean it up.”
She was barefoot, so I picked her up and sat her down on the couch where I knew she wouldn’t cut herself. Jake sat there sucking on his bottom lip, like he did when something was wrong. He turned away when he caught me looking at him.
I grabbed his foot, getting his attention. “You got something you want to say?”
“I didn’t do it.”
I shook my head and kept picking up pieces of glass. Iz sat there watching us, as if I was going to yell at her. I stopped what I was doing and looked over at Miranda, who looked back at me, puzzled. “What?”