Loving Cara(77)
“No.” She laughs and shakes her head. “Just an honest apology. It’s surprising how hard it is to say the words I’m sorry. When we were young, he was so damn stubborn. But he finally learned that all he had to do was say he was sorry.”
“I was a jerk yesterday.”
“It happens.” She shrugs and returns to her knitting.
“But I’m pissed at her too.” I clench my hands into fists.
“Well, you wouldn’t love her if you weren’t.”
“I wish the weather would break.” I scowl and watch the rain outside.
“You’ll get there when you’re supposed to get there.”
I just pray I’m not too late.
CHAPTER
Seventeen
CARA
“What the hell did you just do?” I demand as Jill stumbles back into her living room, weaving through the plethora of shopping bags scattered about from today’s shopping trip.
According to Jill, all worries can be solved with retail therapy.
“I told him off.” She refills both our wineglasses.
“You had to leave the room to do it?” I sip the sweet white Moscato.
“I had to pee.”
“So you peed while you told him off?” I giggle.
“He didn’t know.” She waves me off and takes a long drink. “I know it’s shitty circumstances, but I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too. I miss you. When are you moving home?”
Jill bites her lip and stares down into her glass.
“Jilly?”
“I’m thinking about moving home soon, actually.”
“Really?” I screech, and jump up and down on the cushions of her couch. “Why? When?”
“In the next few weeks.” She shrugs and pulls her legs up under her.
“Spill.”
“Todd and his new wife are pregnant,” she whispers, and blinks tears away as she drinks her wine, stunning me into silence. “Five years,” she murmurs. “We tried to have a baby for five years, Cara.”
“I know.” I take her hand in mine and squeeze.
“All those medications and hormones and trips to the doctors.” She sighs and clenches her eyes shut. “I don’t know how many times I was on my back, feet in stirrups, for all of LA County to see. And not once could anyone tell me why I couldn’t get pregnant.”
“Is that why he left you?” I ask quietly. “You never would tell anyone.”
“No.” She shakes her head and refills her glass. I consider suggesting she slow down, but what’s the harm? “I left him because I came home early from work one afternoon to find him fucking Sheila in our bed.”
“Sheila the new wife?” My voice is an octave higher than normal, my eyes wide in alarm.
“The same one.” She toasts me with her glass. “He said that it was my fault. I was too preoccupied with getting pregnant, only wanting to have sex when I was ovulating, blah, blah, blah. At the end of the day, he fucked around because he’s an asshole.”
I nod, shocked. “And then he married her?”
“Oh, honey”—Jill laughs humorlessly—“he married her two days after our divorce was final.”
“No fucking way!” I can’t feel my lips now as I fill my glass again. “What an asshole!”
“First-class asshole, for sure.” She bites her lip and looks at me with big tears in her eyes. “Why couldn’t I give him a baby, Cara? What’s wrong with me?”
“Oh, sweetie, nothing is wrong with you. Maybe you just weren’t supposed to have babies with him because he’s a first-class asshole.”
“I guess.”
“Is that why you came home for the holiday?”
“Yeah, I had just found out and I needed to be home to clear my head. And I realized that home is where I need to be. The only thing holding me here is my job, and I can sell houses back home just as easily as I can here.”
“Yes, you can.” I smile widely.
“Can I crash with you?”
“Of course. Like you even have to ask.” My phone beeps with an incoming text. “You didn’t turn it off?”
Josh: I miss you.
“No, what’s the point?” She leans her head against the couch and sighs.
“I don’t want to be nice to him.” I frown at the phone as the letters blur together. “I mean, I know I screwed up, but he wasn’t very nice to me.”
“Don’t be.”
“Okay.” I grin as I begin to text him back.
Meat me above.
“What did you say?”
“I told him to leave me alone,” I smirk. “Okay, now let’s talk about Zack.”
“He’s so sexy,” Jill purrs. “Like, so, so, so, so sssssssexy.”