“This is like my conversation with my parents. They want me back in Shaker Heights so they can help me see where the next phase of my life takes me, to quote my dad.”
He ran his fingertips down her flank. “This isn’t more convincing than a telephone conversation with your parents?”
Laughing, she took his hand and kissed it. “Yes, Sam, it is. You’re considerably more tempting, I admit. But it doesn’t change the answer. Whatever the next step is, I have to make the decision, not someone else, no matter how well meaning. Besides, you deserve a woman who … well, who’s not me right now. I don’t know how I feel about anything.”
“Suppose I told you that doesn’t matter.”
“It does to me. I could hurt you and I’m not going to hurt the person I owe my life to.”
“You don’t … ” He stopped. She assumed he saw the stubborn set of her face because when he spoke again, he tried another tack. “Okay, how about we make a deal? You have your time in Seattle. I’ll come visit you after you get out of your residency, just so you don’t forget what I look like. Then, when it’s over, you come back to Portland so we can see if we can work it out between us.”
“I haven’t decided about coming back to Portland yet.” The disappointed look on his face made her hurry to get to the next sentence. “But absolutely come see me after Pilchuck. And I promise I’ll talk it over with you before I decide what’s next after the six months. That okay?”
“No, I like my deal better. But I’ll take yours if that’s all I can get.”
Tracing the lines around his eyes and mouth with her finger, she said, “You’re the most incredible man I’ve ever met. And I’m probably the biggest idiot on the planet for walking away from you.” She put her arms around him and held him, nestling into his chest. “But I have to get my life back together, prove I can take care of myself. And going away is the only way I can get it done.” She rolled over and looked at the clock. “And it all starts very early tomorrow morning when the movers arrive to pick up what goes to Seattle.”
“Is that a hint for me to leave? Thought it was the man who wanted to be alone after sex.”
“Is it? I don’t know. I’ve never had a one-night stand before.”
He pulled himself up on one elbow and took her chin with the opposite hand. “I don’t know what tonight is. It could be the beginning of something or the end. But it’s no one-night stand. Not for me. And I don’t think for you either.”
“You have a lot of experience with one-night stands, cowboy?”
“Enough to recognize that this wasn’t one.”
“Okay. I’ll take your word for it. We’ll figure out what it is — was — later.” She kissed him lightly on the lips and slid out from under the sheet. “For now, how about I get dressed and walk you downstairs. We can say good-bye there.”
When they got to the front door, he held her and made her promise she’d be in touch as soon as she got to Seattle. After he released her from his embrace, she picked up a large, cardboard box from the table in the entryway and handed it to him.
“I was going to have this delivered to you. Not that it’s close to paying you back for what you’ve done for me — I’ll never be able to do that — but I want you to have it.”