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Loving Again(33)

By:Peggy Bird


                • • •

                “How come you’re not with the sexy cowboy this weekend?” Cynthia asked as she hugged her old college roommate.

                “He’s got his two sons with him,” Amanda said. “How come you’re not with Josh?”

                “He’s at some political thing in Olympia.” She extracted herself from the hug. “So we have a chance to talk about them both! Have you met his sons yet?”

                “No, I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

                “How come? You’re clearly in love … ”

                “Can we do this later? I’d rather see the new work you’re bringing for Liz’s gallery.”

                So, they talked glass and art for a while, then delivered Cynthia’s jewelry to The Fairchild Gallery. Finally, back at Amanda’s house, they cracked open a bottle of wine and began cooking dinner.

                “Is this later?” Cynthia asked.

                “Meaning … ?”

                “You said we could talk about you and Sam later. Is this later?”

                “I don’t know, Cyn. It’s complicated.”

                “As best I can figure out, that pretty much describes every male/female relationship on the planet. Why did you think yours would be different? Is he … ?”

                “It’s not him. It’s me. I’m just not sure I can pull off a successful relationship.”

                “For heaven’s sake, why? I mean, your last one was a disaster, but you had good relationships before.”

                “Really? Jim Warden?”

                “Okay, not him.”

                “Bill McClain?”

                “Or him.” Before Amanda could add to the list, she said, “I get your point. But those were college guys. You’re way past college now.”

                “And last year I got involved with a guy I was doing business with who turned out to be a cheating, crooked scum-bag. That’s even worse than I did in college.”

                “Surely you don’t put Sam in the same category?”

                “Dear God, no. He’s the most amazing man I’ve ever met. He’s sweet and kind; he’s smart and funny; he’s … ”

                “Sexy as hell and great in bed.”

                “Sexy as … wait, how do you know what he’s like in bed?”

                “Because your face just told me. So, you’re in love with him. What’s wrong with that?”

                “Nothing’s wrong with it. It’s just … I don’t know. I’m just not ready for it.”

                “Not ready or scared?”

                “Both, maybe. Not ready to admit what I’m feeling because I don’t want to make another mistake. Scared I’m feeling this way to avoid taking care of myself.”

                “You’ve taken care of yourself since you were in college.”