Loving Again(13)
She smiled at him. Tore a piece from the baguette in the breadbasket, dipped it in the dish of olive oil and had a bite.
“Are you enjoying watching me twist in the wind, Amanda?”
“I have to confess, I am. I’ve never seen you off balance before. And I doubt I will any time soon again so let me have my moment.” But she couldn’t hold out against the anguished look in his eyes. “Okay, like I said, I’ve had a great time here, professionally. Personally, I wanted to be back in Portland. I missed the city.” She shook her head. “No, that’s not entirely accurate. I missed Portland, all right. But mostly I decided I wanted to see if the deal you offered me was still good.” It was her turn to drop her eyes.
After a deep breath, she looked up again. “I was going to call you this weekend, I really was, to tell you I was coming back to Portland. Assuming it matters to you. Next month. I mean, that’s when I’m moving.” Her eyes searched his face, trying to find the answer she wanted to see there.
Before Sam could say anything, the waiter brought their entrées, then came back with a pitcher to freshen their water glasses.
After the server left the second time, Amanda said, “So? No reaction? I thought you might like what I just said.”
He carefully cut a piece of his chicken cacciatore, chewed it and swallowed it before he answered. “Wasn’t sure how you’d react to my showing up in Seattle unannounced. You were happy to see me but you glowed when you talked about your time here. I thought about that after I left the gallery. Wondered if you’d be telling me you’re staying here.”
“So — you’re saying, what? You psyched yourself up for me to stay here? Is that what you want?”
“God, no.”
“Then, have you changed your mind about the deal?”
“The deal?”
“The one where I came back to Portland so we could see if we could make it work out between us. If I move back will you … can we … ?”
“Amanda,” he interrupted, “do you really think I drove all the way up here to see an art exhibit? I mean, I love your work but I came to see you. I had to find out what was going on. It’s been driving me nuts.”
“Then what is all this reluctance about — payback for not being in contact for a while or for saying I liked seeing you off balance?”
“I’m not reluctant. I don’t understand what you meant when you said I couldn’t kiss you good night.”
“No, I meant that you were expecting bad news but there wouldn’t be any.”
“Didn’t sound like that. It was either no kiss or … ” He snapped his fingers and said with an innocent expression, “Oh, wait. You meant you didn’t plan to say good night to me tonight.”
“You think I invite men to sleep over on our first date?”
“First date? We’re way beyond first date, aren’t we?”
“Have we ever had dinner out before tonight?” He shook his head. “Gone to a movie?” Head shake again. “Had anything that even vaguely resembles a date?” He opened his mouth to answer and she quickly said, “Rides to the ER don’t count.” He smiled and shrugged his shoulders.