But it was nice, V thought as he walked in. Like the rest of the condo, the kitchen was white and cream, but at least here you didn't feel like you needed a docent: The table and chairs in the breakfast nook were pale pine and the right size for the space. The granite countertops were sleek. The appliances were stainless steel.
"I did it over last year."
There was more cocktail blah-blahing as they both ignored the fact that game over was flashing on their screen.
V went over to the stove and taking a chance, he opened the upper cupboard to the left. Bingo. The hot chocolate mix was right there.
He snagged it, put it on the counter, then went to the refrigerator.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"You got a mug? Pan?" He grabbed a container of milk from the icebox, cracked the top, and gave it a sniff.
As he walked back to the stove, she told him the where's-what in a low voice, like she was suddenly having trouble holding it together. He was ashamed to admit it, but he was glad she was upset. Made him feel less pathetic and alone in the midst of this hellacious goodbye.
Man, he was an asshole.
He took out an enameled saucepan and a thick diner-style mug, then popped up a low flame on the stove. As the milk heated, he stared at the assembled crap on the counter and felt his brain go on a little vacation: The setup looked like a commercial for Nestle, the kind of thing where Suburban Mom was holding down the fort while the Kids played in the snow until they got red noses and cold hands. He could just picture it: the chilly crew would come screaming in just as the self-satisfied mominator put out the kind of warm-up spread capable of cranking Norman Rockwell into a saccharine submission hold.
He could just hear the voice-over: Nestle serves the very best.
Yeah, well, no kids or mom here. No happy hearth either, though the condo was nice enough. This was real-life cocoa. The kind you gave someone you loved because you couldn't think of anything else to do and both of you were a mess. It was the kind you stirred while your gut was knotted and your mouth was dry and you were thinking seriously of crying, but you were too much of a male for that kind of display.
It was the kind you made with all the love you hadn't expressed and might well not have the voice or the chance to speak of.
"I won't remember anything?" she asked roughly.
He added a little more powder and circled the spoon, watching the swirl of chocolate get absorbed in the milk. He couldn't reply, just couldn't say it.
"Nothing?" she prompted.
"From what I understand, you might get feelings once in a while that are triggered by an object or a scent, but you won't be able to place them." He stuck his forefinger in to test for temperature, sucked it clean, and kept stirring. "You're more likely to have vague dreams, though, because your mind is so strong."
"What about the missing weekend?"
"You won't feel as if you missed it at all."
"How's that possible?"
"Because I'm going to give you a weekend to replace it."
When she didn't say anything further, he glanced over his shoulder. She was standing against the refrigerator, arms wrapped around herself, eyes shimmering.
Fuck. Okay, he changed his mind. He didn't want her to feel as bad as he did. He'd do anything to keep her from being this heartbroken.
And he had it in his power to fix her, didn't he.
He tested what he was warming, approved of the temp, and killed the flame. As he filled the mug, the gentle gurgle promised the relaxation and satisfaction he wanted for his female. He brought the mug over to her, and when she didn't take it, he reached out and unhinged one of her forearms. She palmed the hot chocolate only because he made her, and she didn't drink it. She cradled it to her collarbone, curling her wrist in, twisting her arm around the thing.#p#分页标题#e#
"I don't want you to go," she whispered, tears in the achy pitch of her voice.
He put his bare hand to her cheek and felt the softness and warmth of her face. He knew that when he pulled out of here, he was leaving his stupid fucking heart with her. Sure, something would beat behind his ribs and keep his blood moving around, but it would just be a mechanical function from now on.
Oh, wait. It had been like that before. She'd just given the thing flesh and life for a short time.
He pulled her into his arms and rested his chin on the top of her head. Holy hell, he was never again going to smell chocolate and not think of her, not pine for her.
Just as he closed his eyes a tingle ran up his spine, trembling along the back of his neck and shooting to the anchor of his jaw. The sun was coming up, and that was his body telling him the time to go was no longer a future thing, but a now thing… an urgent now thing.