“Actually, I’ve got a lot to do here,” she said, gesturing lamely at her computer. “And since things are sort of wrapping up, it might be easiest if we just sort of call it, you know?”
“Call it.” His voice turned flat.
“Yeah, no need to keep up appearances. I mean, you’ll be gone in three days.”
Her voice started to crack on that last part, and she felt that horrible lump in her throat. He needed to leave now. Before she broke down and did something completely insane, like beg him to stay.
His eyes narrowed, and the panic began clawing at her. He knew.
You’re losing it. Get him out of here, 2.0 commanded.
“Grace, I don’t want it to end like this.”
But it was ending. And that’s all she needed to know.
“It’s actually better this way,” she said, pulling out her ponytail and needlessly putting it back up again to keep her shaking hands busy. “I’ve been feeling sort of weird about things since last weekend. It got a little intense, you know? I was just so freaked out by Greg and that damned ring, and I lost sight of what I really want.”
“And what’s that?”
She gave a rueful little lift of her shoulder. “To be single. At least for now. After that, I don’t know. Maybe play the field a little, you know?”
Grace gave him a purposeful look. He should know. Playing the field was his MO.
“Play the field?” he asked, his voice empty.
She gave a rueful little grin. “Well, it’s a little embarrassing to work for Stiletto and only have been with two guys, ya know? Not that I’m going to go all slutty, but I don’t know … I just kind of want the option. To figure out what I want.”
Liar, 1.0 was screaming. You already know what you want. He’s right here.
“Got it,” he said. “Well … good luck to you.”
“And you!”
Oh God, she sounded like a hyper cheerleader.
He moved toward the door, and she bit her lip to keep from saying anything stupid. His fingers found the door handle, and her eyes closed briefly before she forced herself to watch him walk away. She needed to cement this in her memory so that she would remember to avoid it next time.
“I’ll call you next time I’m back in the city?” he said. “We can grab drinks, or … whatever.”
So this is what she and Jake had become. An occasional phone call and whatever.
“Sure,” she said. “I’d like that.”
He nodded, his eyes boring into hers. “I’ll miss you, Grace.”
“I’ll miss you too,” she whispered. It was the first honest thing she’d said in the entire conversation, and it probably betrayed too much, but she couldn’t not say it. Not to the man she’d fallen in love with.
Oh, Grace, 2.0 said in despair. Love?
“Yeah,” she muttered to herself.
Not that it mattered. He was already gone.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
The phone call with his mother was almost as difficult as his face-to-face conversation with Grace. Almost.
“But you’ll come home for Christmas?”
“Yes, Mom. They’re not sending me off to war. I’m getting paid to see awesome places. Safe places.”
“Alone,” she said. “What good is seeing all the world’s wonders by yourself?”
“I thought you’d be happy about this, Mom. You and Dad are the ones always telling me that I’m going places,” he said as he scanned around for one of La Guardia Airport’s many bars. He’d made it through security in record time and had over an hour to kill before his flight to Fort Lauderdale and the subsequent connection to San Jose, Costa Rica.
There was a long silence on the other end. “Figuratively, Jake. We just meant life is your oyster and all that.”
Jake closed his eyes, feeling unbearably tired. “But you were always going on and on about all the places I used to go.”
“Sure, it was exciting! But don’t think for one second I wouldn’t have selfishly preferred to have my baby boy living down the street from me.”
Christ. He couldn’t even begin to process all of that right now. She’d waited until he was at the airport to tell him she liked it better when he was local?
He just wanted to sit with a beer and think about nothing.
Particularly if he was going to have to listen to his mother start talking about Grace. Again. As if he needed a reminder. He’d done everything possible to avoid thinking about her since walking out of her office on Monday. He hadn’t thought about her when he’d packed up his office. Not when he’d been packing for his trip.
He hadn’t thought about her when he’d researched his must-see list for Costa Rica and Argentina. And not when he’d gotten a lead on a Beijing tour next month.