Love's Taming(47)

They continued to sit in silence for a few more minutes. Come on, baby. Please give me a chance to prove I’m the man for you, he thought while watching emotions flit across her eyes.

“Shane, I honest to God have no idea what to do with all of this.” Biting her bottom lip, she fought back tears. “My life was so tame before you. It may have been boring, but I knew each day what was happening. You’ve entered my world and turned it upside down. I’ve been happier with you around than I’ve been in forever.” Giving a rude snort, she continued, “I’ve also been more hurt since meeting you too. It’s like a damn roller coaster.”

Smiling, he held her face close to his. “Yeah, but baby it’s livin’. Being on that roller coaster with someone you love makes the ride worth it.”

Silence ensued again as Annie pondered all she had heard. Lifting her eyes back to his, she gazed deeply. She was so used to four-legged animals. When they are in pain, you can see it in their eyes. When they are happy and healthy, that shows as well. But humans? That was always harder for her to read. But staring into his blue eyes, she saw nothing but sincerity staring back.

“What now?” she asked in a small voice, afraid of the answer.

“Baby, I’ve got one more week to get through then I am done.” He watched shadows pass through her eyes. “Nope, not going back there. I’m done with Rocky. She’s DEA and is on her own now with her own orders from them. I am just working the dog issue now. Just still trying to get a lock on where they get them and where they house them before shipping them out. Took me a year and a half to get high up enough in their organization to be trusted with just knowin’ about the dogs, and I’ve got a pretty good idea, but one way or another baby, one week.”

“Then what, Shane?”

“Do you remember what we talked about before I left? Me livin’ here while I find a place. A place for both of us. And we were goin’ to keep finding out where this goes,” he said as he pointed between them. “That’s still my plan. Nothin’s changed for me. I want this life and I want you and I’m goddamn tired of all of the bullshit bein’ thrown at us that is gettin’ between us.”

“What about the next time one of your past women comes back to haunt us? I don’t want to live as though I’m constantly in fear of having your past thrown in my face.”

“That’s not gonna happen, baby. I’m out and no one from that hell comes into our world.”

Annie raised her hand up to rub her temple, feeling as though she were on a mental overload. Sighing deeply, she said, “I swear I can handle a vet emergency with calm assurance that I know exactly what I’m doing. I can handle irate clients and don’t mind getting down and dirty with my hands in an animal that I’m trying to save. But this…Shane, I don’t even know what to think.”

“Baby, what do you feel? Stop thinking and just feel.”

“I don’t know how. I’m trained to think analytically. I take a problem and break it down. Then find the best solution. I’m not equipped for this. If I break this down, my head says that this,” pointing between the two of them, “Is a fucking mess and I should run for cover!”

“But what do you feel?”

“Feel? Shane, feelings are what got me in this mess to begin with. I give in to feelings and that gives you the power to stomp all over my heart. One. More. Time. I can’t protect myself from hurt if I give in to feelings.” Her eyes glimmered with unshed tears while hope and fear warred within her.

“Annie,” he said softly, wrapping his arms around her. “Tell me what you feel.”

She leaned her head down on his shoulder, pressing her face into his neck. She felt his strong arms holding her closely. She felt his breath on her neck as he leaned his head over toward hers. She felt his heartbeat against her chest. She remembered how wonderful she felt before he left and how devastated she was last night. She felt…

“I feel…safe,” she replied. She felt his arms tighten. “I feel safe,” she repeated as he moved his hand up to cup her head. Sighing deeply, she admitted, “I feel… like I want this. I want us. It may be a rollercoaster and I have to tell you that I’m afraid of heights and scared to death of falling off…but this feels…right.”

Shane closed his eyes as he buried his face in her hair, the tightness in his chest at the thought of having almost lost her made him think of Tom. No wonder Tom was desperate to get his fiancé, Carol, back safely. I almost lost her before we really had a chance to begin. No more. I’m done.