A look of anguish crossed his face before he pulled her back into his chest, pressing her head gently against his heart. “Jesus. What a fuckin’ mess,” he said quietly. Rubbing her back, nothing was said for a moment as her tears quieted. “I’m sorry, baby. Let’s just go upstairs and talk. Please give me that. Please.”
The sound of his anguished voice pleading broke through to her. Nodding her head against his chest, he bent and picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her upstairs.
Chapter 15
Maneuvering into her apartment, Shane relished the feel of her in his arms, but once inside she wiggled to be let down. “Not happenin’ baby.”
Her head snapped back, eyes narrowing on his face. “Shane, you need to put me down.”
His ice blue eyes held her green ones in a stare-down that she was not going to win.
“Told you, baby. Not happenin’.”
He held her firmly as he walked over to the sofa, sitting down with her straddling his lap. “We’re gonna talk. There’s too much shit happenin’ and I’m not wastin’ anymore of my life.”
Not everything is what it seems. Trust in him and trust in what you know, not what you think is happening.
Annie was angry, but she had to admit she was curious about Matt’s words. Pulling her lips in, she lifted her eyes back to his. “Why?” was the only whisper from her mouth.
With that one word, Shane felt her wrap around his heart again. No screaming, no yelling. No throwing things, sobbing uncontrollably. No shouting insults, no tossing accusations. Just one simple word and his anger left him. The beast inside that had been raging felt tamed.
One large hand came to the back of her head, pulling her forward as his lips found her forehead. Holding her tightly, he whispered back, “Please give me a chance.”
He heard a sigh leave her body as her breath hitched with unshed tears. He waited for a moment before feeling her nod her head against his chest. Sunshine. Pure, fuckin’ sunshine.
“Annie baby. I’ve got a lot to tell you and not a lot of time right now.”
She pulled her head off of his chest, her eyes full of questions.
He continued, “I know you’ve got questions, but baby, let me tell you what I can and then we’ll deal. Can you do that?”
Breathing deeply again she just nodded, curiosity winning over anger.
“Everything I ever told you was true. About my job. About goin’ under. About my family. Everything.” He held her eyes. “Includin’ everything I ever said about you and about us.
“I went in last Monday for the debriefing. What I wasn’t expectin’ was to be raked over the coals about you.”
“Me?” she asked, startled.
“Baby, when I came to you with Sarge, I knew it was a risk. A huge fuckin’ risk. I was tellin’ the truth when I said you were the first ray of sunshine I’d had in two years. But I never wanted to involve you in this. Never wanted to put you at risk. But one look and I had to take a shot. I had to pull you in. But then the shit hit the fan. The one fuckin’ thing that made my life worth livin’ was about to blow everything to hell.”
Shaking her head, she said, “I still don’t understand.”
“My superiors weren’t thrilled that I had almost blown cover by gettin’ involved with you. Then you get hurt, which tellin’ you right now baby, someone is still gonna pay for that. You’re on the radar and I put you there. So when we pulled off the takedown, we got most of the ones we were after, but there are still some slick-shits at the top we didn’t get. The PD and DEA want them and held me by the balls to go back under for two more weeks. I’m not in tight with the gang, but I knew that if I showed back up as Stoney and stayed away from you it could pull some of the attention off of you. So I got pissed, but I told them I’d give ‘em two weeks and that was it. Two weeks to finish their case and then the DEA can takedown whoever they can. I don’t give a fuck.”
He slid his hand to her cheek, his thumb tracing the dried trail of a tear. “Baby, it was no fuckin’ game. I’ve never played you. I’m wild and untamed, but I’m yours.”
“I saw you. With her. She was in the restroom talking about you,” Annie said, the pain in her voice evident, her eyes looking down at his chest.
Using his fingers to lift her chin, “When we talk, I wanna see your eyes, baby. That tells me how you’re doin’ and right now they tell me you are hurtin’ and goddammit, that fuckin’ kills me.”
He took a breath, then said, “I told you a while back that there were things about my past I was gonna share. Things that I knew would hurt, but I didn’t want there to be shadows between us. No doubts. I just figured that we could talk about it, lay it to rest, and then never have to deal with it again.” He shook his head cursing, “Fuck! You should never have to have seen that shit last night. You should never have to deal with that part of my past.”