“There are times when I wish I didn’t know you at all!”
There was the feisty, teasing woman he loved beyond life itself. That was what he’d been waiting for. He let go of the reins to his horse and reached into the buggy, wrapping an arm around Randy’s waist. She let out a short little scream as he lifted her out of the carriage. He set her on her feet and took her arm, leading her a few feet away.
“Listen to me, Randy,” he said quietly so the others couldn’t hear. “You of all people know how sorry I am. In thirty years, I’ve never raised my voice to you.”
Randy shook her head. “My darling Jake, the way you reacted to Clem’s remark, and the way you screamed at me—it had to have something to do with your father, not just with Clem’s insult. And it’s not the insult that bothers me or the fact that you yelled at me. I know exactly why you did that. You weren’t screaming at me, Jake. You were screaming at him. And it was your father you were beating on, not Clem. Am I right?”
Their gazes held as Jake slowly shook his head. “You sure have a way of climbing into my head.”
“And you need to explain things to me when you get like that, Jake. That’s all that keeps you from going off the deep end. The last thing you need is for me to be upset with you, and I don’t like being upset with you. So tell me what this is really about. Get it out of your system, because when you come to our room tonight, I want to see the calm and happy Jake you were before this happened.”
He sighed deeply, looking toward the distant mountains. “I’ve told you before that I don’t think my father ever legally married my mother.”
Randy folded her arms. “And?”
“And he used to…brag to other men that she was his own personal whore. When Clem said that about you and hinted that you must have been a whore when I met you…” He turned to meet her eyes. “I saw him, heard him. It’s been a long time since something happened to bring that all back.”
Randy stepped closer. “You should have told me that same night, Jake.”
He shook his head. “I was too damn mad. When you walked into that firelight, I saw a woman who was so far above those remarks…a woman I never had any right ever touching in the first place. I grew up with whores, and that’s the kind of women I should have stayed with—not something as beautiful and special and educated and sophisticated as you.”
“And did you ever stop to think that I could have said no? I did have a choice, Jake. You offered to leave more than once, and you did leave more than once. Wasn’t I always there waiting when you came back? My God, Jake, I need you just as much as you need me.”
He rubbed at his eyes, suddenly feeling very tired. “Lo siento, favor perdóname, mi amor. Tu eres mi vida.”
“And you are my life, Jake. After thirty years I shouldn’t have to keep telling you that.”
He smiled sadly. “Lloyd said pretty much the same thing. He’s not real happy with me either.”
“He just gets tired of trying to climb over that wall you keep building around yourself, and so do I. It’s because we love you so much that we get upset, because we can’t stand for you to hurt.”
He reached out and touched her cheek with the back of his hand. “And right now I want to hold you so bad that I ache, but like Evie and everybody else keeps telling me, I’m a mess. So I’m going to ride back to the supply wagon and get a change of clothes and head on in to Denver and get a bath and a shave. Denver is only an hour or so ahead. I’ll probably meet Lloyd at the stockyards and then come to the hotel.”
Randy touched his arm. “You be careful when you get to Denver. The mood you’re in… I’m worried about Mike Holt.”
Jake sobered. “Don’t you worry about that sonofabitch. We’re going to enjoy the city, and you’re going to buy a new dress, and I’ll be taking the most beautiful woman in Colorado to the Cattlemen’s Ball. All the women there will be jealous, and all the men will be envious. And with you on my arm, I’ll be the proudest man there.”
Randy touched his chest, looking up at him. “And I’ll be the proudest wife there. You remember that, Jake.”
“I’ll remember.” He grasped the back of her neck and leaned down to kiss her forehead. “I love you.”
Randy squeezed his wrist. “In spite of how difficult you make it sometimes, I love you, too.”
“I wish we were completely alone right now.”
“So do I, but you are a mess, so go ahead and find that bathhouse.” She looked up at him. “Just make sure it’s not in some brothel.”