“I’ll bet! That kid is Jake reborn. He’s going to be a handful for poor Brian and Evie.”
“Yeah, well, Cole isn’t happy he took that gun. I think he put the scare into Little Jake. The kid won’t be trying something like that again anytime soon.” Lloyd took a drag on his cigarette. “Go ahead and tend to Midnight, will you?”
“Oh, sure!”
Jake took his saddlebags and bedroll from Midnight, along with his rifle. Charlie walked the horse to a nearby shed, and Jake turned to Lloyd. “You be careful going back.”
Lloyd nodded. “I’m going to send someone up here every couple of days just to make sure you and Mom are still okay.”
“I’m a big boy, Lloyd. We’ll be fine.”
“Just the same. This can be mean country this time of year. And if something happens to Midnight, you’d be on foot. Besides that, by the time you come home, you’ll need an extra horse, so I’ll have somebody bring one up, along with more supplies.”
“You reassure Evie that your mother will be all right. I hate for her to have to revisit something like this. You tell her that if anybody can make things better for Randy Harkner, it’s me. And tell her I’m okay. I’m not going to go crazy or anything.”
Lloyd smiled sadly. “You’re doing better than I thought you would. This is when you usually leave. You stay with her and be strong for her. You can’t leave this time, thinking she’s better off—and she can’t see any fear or doubt in your eyes. She has to see the man—the man. Not the terrified, sorry little boy that shows in your eyes sometimes. She knows you like a book, Pa, and if she thinks for one minute you’re blaming yourself for this or you’re going into that dark place, she’ll be devastated. When you’re like that, she’s the one who has to be strong, and right now she’s not strong, so you have to be! Do you know what I’m saying?”
Jake smiled a little. “You getting ready to hit me again?”
“I will if I have to beat some sense into you. I know how you think sometimes, but you have to rise above that…for her. This is not your fault. It’s not my fault. It’s not anyone’s fault. It just…is, and you can make it better. You’re the only one who can bring her around.”
Jake took one last drag on the cigarette, then threw it down and stepped it out. “Go home to Katie, Lloyd. Your mother and I will be fine.”
Lloyd just stood there a minute. “You’re sure?”
“I’m sure.”
Lloyd’s eyes teared. “You’ve lived one hell of a tough life, Jake Harkner. Not many men have been as beat up and dragged around their whole goddamn life like you have. Don’t think I don’t understand how sometimes it’s hard as hell to climb out of all the shit and see the good. You think Mom is your rock, but you’re the foundation of her strength. She needs you way more than you’ve ever realized. I’ve seen it in her eyes and heard it in her voice the times she thought she might lose you. And truth be known…” His voice broke on the words, and he turned away, heading for his horse. “I don’t know what I’d do without you either.” He mounted up. “You can be such a pain in the ass sometimes, Pa, but I’ll be damned if I can ever stay mad at you.” He turned his horse. “Tell Charlie he’ll have to catch up. You take care of my mother. And you remember that the best revenge is to love her and take her back. They couldn’t change that, Pa. Revenge can be sweet, and it doesn’t always mean needing a gun.”
Lloyd rode off, and Jake watched after him, wondering how in hell he’d produced such a wise and solid son. The last three days he’d so lovingly helped take care of Randy tore at his heart. One thing is sure, he thought. When something does happen to me, Randy Harkner will be in damn good hands.
He turned and looked at the cabin door. He was alone in this. Randy was in there, and she needed him like never before. He said a rare, quick prayer for the strength he would need. Just put the right words in my mouth, Lord. I don’t pray often, but I’m doing it now. Evie says you even listen to men like me, so I’m counting on that.
He thought about the last time they were here, how happy they were, how sweet the lovemaking was, how they’d teased each other. I don’t just love you, he’d told her. I worship you. I adore you. She’d loved hearing that. And he’d meant every damn word.
Forty-three
For four days, Randy mostly slept…and slept. Jake literally had to wake her up and make her eat and drink something, but she was unnervingly quiet. She’d turned to saying almost nothing, and when he pressed her to talk, she’d turn away and curl into the blankets. When she had to urinate, he picked her up and carried her out to the privy, which to his relief he could tell Charlie had scrubbed. It warmed his heart to think what the men thought of Randy.