“That’s our special place. I want us…to be buried there, Jake—you and me…high on that hill overlooking the J&L.”
“Let’s not be talking about where we’ll be buried just yet. God knows I’ve come too close to that a hundred times over. I think He saved me just so you’d have someone to hold you, so He kept me around.”
“Tell me you still love me.”
“I shouldn’t have to tell you that, mi querida.” He touched the side of her face. “Look at me, Randy. You haven’t actually looked at me since we found you.”
“I can’t.”
“Look at me.”
Tears still streamed down her cheeks as she finally raised her head and looked up at him.
“Who do you belong to?”
“I want to still belong to you,” she wept.
“Then say it. Who do you belong to?”
“Jake Harkner.”
He leaned down and very gently kissed the corners of her lips, her cheeks, her eyes, her lips again. “We’re going to that line shack…and for as long as necessary…this is all I’ll do… Just kiss you”—another kiss—“and taste these beautiful lips”—light, fluttery touches with his mouth—“and we won’t need to do anything else but hold each other for however long you need holding.”
Someone tapped at the door. “Pa, it’s me. We’re all loaded up, and Rodriguez made some biscuits and boiled eggs. Can Mom eat?”
“Come on in.”
“The boys are out here. They’re real anxious to see Mom. Does she want to see them?”
Randy pulled away. “Yes!” She managed to stand up, clinging to a table.
“Bring them in,” Jake told Lloyd.
Lloyd opened the door and motioned for the boys to come inside. All three of them came bursting inside, their boots covered with snow and their noses and cheeks red. Little Jake started crying over the bruises on her face, and the other two just waited, not sure what to do.
“Grandma, can we hug you?” Stephen asked.
“Just take it easy,” Jake warned them. “Don’t hug too hard.” He took a cigarette from a tin he’d left on the table and lit it while each boy took a turn at hugging their grandmother very carefully.
“We’re sorry,” Little Jake cried.
“Don’t you dare be sorry,” Randy told them. “The three of you fought so bravely! I’ve never been more proud of you.”
Lloyd stepped closer and spoke quietly. “She’s up and around?”
“For the moment. She’s pretending to be strong, but it won’t last. One minute she’s hysterical, the next minute she’s crying, and the next she’s laughing. She’s all mixed up right now and still full of laudanum. It will do us both good to spend some time alone at that line shack.”
“Take all the time you need, Pa.”
Jake drew on the cigarette. “For the first time in thirty years, I’m not sure how to handle a woman, and she’s the one I’ve been living with all those years.”
“Are you kidding?” Lloyd tried reassuring him. “You can handle a woman as good as you handle a gun. You’re Jake Harkner.” He lit his own cigarette. “You’ll figure it out.”
Jake watched Randy reassure the boys she was just fine. He knew better. He knew her every breath, her every movement, every hair on her head…knew when her heart was breaking. He’d damn well mend it.
Forty-two
For two days they traveled in near silence, a soft snowfall enshrouding them, the snow on the ground muffling all sound except for the swish of the horses’ hooves and the gentle clink and squeak of saddles and tack. Jake and Lloyd talked only about the ranch, how in spite of the cold, there at least had not been any new snowstorms, hoping they hadn’t lost too many cattle this winter. To relieve the horses, they traded Randy back and forth, both worried about how, after behaving strong and just fine in front of the boys, she’d fallen back into near silence and at times didn’t even seem fully aware of all that had happened. She was back to wanting only Jake and once cried so hard when Jake handed her over to Lloyd that Lloyd had to convince her in her confusion that he was Jake and she was safe. Both men ached over how weak and worn and bruised she was. She cried out with pain every time they moved her around, and she constantly shivered from cold no matter how many blankets they wrapped around her. Last night, when they had to sleep on the ground, they wrapped her in her rabbit coat and extra blankets and made her sleep between them.
To Jake’s relief, they reached the line shack before dark the second day. Charlie McGee was there waiting. He’d been ordered to bring supplies up to the cabin when Jake and Lloyd left with the others to find Randy.