“Is it…morning?” she asked. “We usually only have…peppermint…in the morning.”
Her mind was wandering to better things. Jake smiled through tears. “Not this time, mi vida. But we’ll share some more of this soon…just you and me…in the morning.” He leaned close and took the other end in his mouth, working his way to her lips again. “And I’ll take it all back.” He felt a tiny response in the way her lips touched his.
“Don’t let go,” she said yet again.
“I’m right here.”
“I still have…your ring. See?” Randy held out her left hand to show him the wedding ring he’d bought her in Denver.
Her hand was bruised. Jake tried not to let it drive him crazy. “It’s beautiful, baby.”
Randy opened her eyes a moment, touching his lips. “You’re…all bruised. Jake, you’re all purple here.” She gently touched his jaw. “What happened?”
“Midnight reared up and caught me under the jaw.”
“The fire…” She curled against him again. “The fire! Jake…I screamed for you…”
“I couldn’t hear you. I’m so goddamn sorry.”
“The boys! They hurt the boys. They fought…so hard to…stop them!”
“I know. They’re becoming men, Randy. They came with us, and they helped us. They were so scared for you.”
“They’re…here?”
“They are. They wanted to help because they felt bad they couldn’t stop those men.”
“They shouldn’t, Jake. They tried so hard. Tell me they’re all right.”
“They’re bruised up, but they’ll be fine. They’re brave young men.”
“They have…your blood. Little Jake…I see you…in his eyes.” She curled against him yet again. “Don’t let go!”
“I’m right here. I’m not letting go.”
Lloyd brought over some bacon. “I left the fat soft. She’ll get more fat in her than if I fry it off till it’s crispy.” He knelt beside them. “Mom, eat this.”
“I…can’t. Lloyd, don’t look at me.”
“I’ll damn well look at you! All I see is my beautiful mother, and she needs to eat something and drink some more water and take some laudanum. You’re going to do all three.”
“I don’t want…Jake…to let go of me.”
“He won’t. Now eat this bacon.”
She took a piece with a shaking hand. Lloyd noticed her hand and wrist were purple. He silently groaned at her bruised and swollen lips.
“You look like…a young Jake,” she told him, “like he looked when he…found me at that trading post. Is that…where we are?”
Lloyd looked at Jake, both of them realizing her mind kept wandering from present to past. “Yeah, that’s where we are,” Lloyd told her. His hair had come loose, and he tossed it behind his shoulders.
“Jake, you should…cut that hair. You look…like an Indian.”
Lloyd turned away, his heart breaking. “Eat all five pieces of that bacon.” He set the tin plate of bacon on the table and walked over to pick up the canteen Randy had thrown to the floor. Jake kept handing her the bacon until she ate it all. Lloyd brought the canteen to Jake, and Jake urged Randy to drink more water.
“Mom? Do you know who I am?” Lloyd touched her hair.
Randy studied him a moment. “Lloyd?”
“A minute ago you thought I was Jake.”
She rested her head on Jake’s shoulder again. “This is Jake. He’s holding me. He won’t let go.”
“No, he won’t let go.”
“I’m safe here.”
“You bet you are.” Lloyd grinned through tears. He and Jake finally got some laudanum down her, and Jake held her as she began to drift off.
“Don’t let go,” she said once again, the words slurred.
“I’m right here,” Jake told her. He pulled her close and quietly wept.
Lloyd fixed hot, soapy water. He was worried about Jake, afraid he’d slip into that much darker place from which it seemed at times there was no return. Jake removed the soiled blanket and tossed it aside. Lloyd looked away as Jake sponged her off the best he could, repeating how small she was, how in thirty years he’d never once laid a hand on her wrongly, how you had to be careful with an older woman because she bruised more easily, how beautiful her hair still was, with not even any gray in it yet.
Lloyd handed him a clean blanket he’d brought in from their supplies, and Jake wrapped it around Randy. “They say blonds don’t show the gray as soon as brunettes,” Lloyd told him, fighting to keep a conversation going that would keep Jake in the present. “Katie’s been finding a few gray hairs lately, and she acts like it’s the end of the world.”