He sat down in a chair, holding Randy on his lap. He couldn’t bring himself to lay her back in the soiled bed nearby, the mattress bare and stained.
“Jake?” she whispered. “Is it…really you?”
“It’s me.”
“Jake?”
“I’m right here.”
“I couldn’t…let that marshal…take you away from me,” she whispered gruffly. “I can’t live…without you.”
“My God, Randy,” he groaned.
“I knew…you’d come. Like at that…trading post. When was that, Jake?” She sobbed the words.
Jake realized her mind was wandering. He struggled against an urge to grab her tight against him but was afraid he’d hurt something. “A long, long time ago…when I first knew I loved you, mi querida.”
“Jake, they did…a terrible thing…”
“Don’t talk about it. Just let me hold you. Let me make sure you don’t have any broken bones or—”
“Do you…still love me?”
“My God, Randy, why would you ask that?”
She broke into tears. “You know…why.” She clung to his shirt. “Jake…you never did that to me…you never did anything that wasn’t…beautiful—” She kept the blanket over her face.
“¡Lo siento, mi vida. ¡Lo siento!” Jake rocked her as he groaned the words.
“Don’t let go of me!”
“I’m right here.”
“I’m so cold!”
She was shaking, and Jake realized he couldn’t do three things at once. “Lloyd, get in here and build up the fire,” he called through the doorway.
“No! Don’t let anyone see me.”
Jake closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He wanted to walk around and scream, but he needed to be strong—for Randy. For Randy. Hang on! This was the kind of thing that would normally send him into that world where he had to ride out of this woman’s life…this woman who’d given up so much for him. He didn’t deserve her. “Randy, I need to warm things up in here. I can’t hang on to you and do that, too. Someone has to come in here and help.”
Lloyd came inside, carrying a leather bag with a change of clothes for his mother, and her rabbit fur coat. He saw the pain in his father’s eyes. “Does she need Brian?”
“I’m not sure yet.”
“No! Don’t let anyone see me,” Randy repeated, cringing closer to Jake.
Lloyd set her belongings on the bed and moved to the fireplace, angrily throwing wood into it. He grabbed a poker and jammed it into the coals so they flared up. Tears welled in his eyes. “Mom, it’s okay. Let me and Brian help. Pa can’t do all this by himself.”
Randy pressed her face against Jake’s neck. “I know your scent,” she whispered. “It’s really…you.”
“It’s really me. Lloyd’s going to build a fire and heat some water and fix something to eat. You’re going to let Brian make sure you don’t have any broken bones, and I’m going to wash you up, and you’re going to eat something, and I’m taking you out of here in the morning, all right? I don’t want you in this place with all its filth and all its bad memories any longer than that. When we leave here, we’ll burn this cabin down!” Bracing himself against the sick horror in his heart, he pulled the blanket away from her face and struggled not to gasp at how bruised her jaw and cheekbones were. It was difficult to tell it was really his beautiful wife.
“Don’t,” she wept, covering her face with her hand. “They hit me…and…hit me. Jake, I want to wash my mouth. Get it out of me! Get it out of me!” She suddenly straightened and vomited all over the blanket.
“Jesus,” Jake groaned. “Get Brian in here, Lloyd! And get some biscuits. See if Rodriguez has anything we can make some broth with. We’ve got to get something into her stomach.”
“No! Just you! Just you!” Randy sobbed.
“Brian needs to tend to you,” Jake told her, smoothing back her hair. “No arguments!”
Lloyd hesitated. “Pa, are you okay?”
Jake didn’t answer.
“Pa?”
Jake pressed Randy closer and kept rocking her. “I don’t know.”
Lloyd walked up behind him and grasped his shoulder. “You hang on. And you remember how proud she is of how much stronger you are emotionally. It’s her turn to pull on your strength instead of the other way around.”
“I’ll be better when I get her cleaned up and get some food in her. Get something from Rodriguez, and then you take care of those boys out there. I know what bad memories are like. You need to talk to them.”