Love’s Sweet Revenge(139)
“How could I have lived with you so long and not known that?”
“A woman has to have some secrets.”
“Oh? What else are you keeping from me?”
“I’ll never tell. And I could ask you the same thing, but it would probably take the rest of the night to tell me all of it. And I would probably be horrified.”
Jake moved his lips and tongue down over her breasts, her belly. “You probably would.”
Randy grasped his hair. “I think I’m better off not knowing.”
He moved back up to her breasts, tasting them fervently. “You’re always saying these beautiful breasts aren’t perky anymore.”
“You have a way of perking them up.” Randy breathed deeply as he kissed his way back down to secret places and moved fingers inside of her, stroking her erotically in the way he had of destroying all reservations and making her forget that earlier she thought she was too tired for this. She felt adored sexually. Jake never asked for anything he knew she wouldn’t want to do, yet had a way of making her want to give him more than she had to give. In spite of all their years together and getting older, her climaxes were as intense as always, usually because she couldn’t get over the memories of all the times she’d watched this man ride away with no guarantee he would ever make it back. She couldn’t imagine life without her Jake, or ever imagine any other man doing this to her.
He moved back over her body, pressing his hardness against her belly, then reaching down to move inside of her. She winced at how he filled her, with tremendous pleasure but now sometimes pain. She refused to tell him. He was too sensitive and might think she didn’t want this, but she did…she did so want it and always would…always…as long as they could do this, and as long as they needed each other this way. Sometimes this was what brought both of them the strength they needed to face the past, the dangers, the lingering worry that this could end. She’d lived with that fear for thirty years. This is what kept her fears at bay.
They moved in sweet rhythm for several minutes. He grasped her bottom gently, whispering to her in Spanish. She felt lost beneath his big frame and leaned up to kiss his chest as she ran her hands over the hard muscle of his arms and shoulders until she felt his life pulse into her. He pushed harder with his release, groaning her name, then settled on top of her.
“Jake, I can’t breathe,” she told him.
“Shit.” He rolled to her side. “I’m sorry. Did I hurt you?”
“No, but there is a bit of a difference in our weight.”
He pulled her close, kissing her hair. “Randy, just because you love me and want to please me doesn’t mean you can’t say no once in a while.”
“Why on earth would you say that?” she asked lazily. “I can never say no to you, Jake. I’m happiest and feel safest right here in your arms.”
He sighed. “Well, sometimes I sense things—more than I let on. You tell me if I’m hurting you.”
She smiled, loving him more. “How many men would say that…or care? Only my Jake. I don’t like the reasons you know women so well, but you’re so sweet to ask.”
He put a big hand to the side of her face and leaned down to kiss her eyes. “Baby, I can read your every physical reaction, whether because it feels good or because it hurts. Things change. I know that.”
“Are you saying I’m getting old?”
“Hell no!” He moved only partly on top of her. “I’m saying I love you beyond this. I’ll always want you this way, but not just because I draw strength from being inside of you or because you’re so damn beautiful. I want you this way because I want to please your every need.” He kissed her gently.
“Then please me again. It only hurts at first sometimes when it’s been a while.” She leaned up and captured his mouth, kissing him suggestively before moving to kiss his throat. “Don’t be worried about hurting me. It’s a nice kind of hurt.” She kissed him again. “I love you, Jake. And if the day ever comes when we can’t do this anymore, all I’ll ever need is these arms around me. I’m safe here. So safe.”
He grinned, moving between her legs again. “Yeah? Well, maybe you aren’t always so safe when I’m going nuts with the want of you, whether you want it or not.”
“You’d stop in a second if I asked you. I knew that clear back in that wagon when we first did this. You didn’t scare me one bit.”
He laughed lightly and kissed her ear. “Baby, I absolutely can’t guarantee I wouldn’t have kept going, even if you said no. I never wanted a woman so bad in my life as I wanted you that night. If I’d have had to wait one more day to be inside of you, I would have considered shooting myself.”