It had taken me a while to accept that I was going to be a mother, and even longer to be okay with raising the child by myself. In a couple of days I’d be far enough along to find out what I was having. All I could hope for was to look at that screen and see ten fingers and ten toes. The sex didn’t matter to me. I wanted my baby to be healthy since my first trimester had been so filled with stress.
I’d had a sonogram a few weeks earlier that verified my conception date and that I was only carrying one fetus.
For a while I had nightmares that the baby was Branch’s. Knowing that I hadn’t been intimate with him since before my period, and even then we used condoms, put my mind at ease.
Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t hate Branch. I knew I’d hurt him and he’d never forgive me, but somehow, knowing that this baby was Brooks’ and mine, helped me cope with losing him. I knew that a piece of him was growing inside of me and that we’d made it out of a life-long love for one another.
I also was aware that my baby would always signify that love, even if we’d only had one real night together.
I’d finally stopped puking every day and my face was beginning to fill out. My friends, Sarah, Dave and Bobby were so supportive, and between the three of them and the kids, they never let me out of their sight for long. Sarah took me to my doctor appointments and basically shoved my vitamins down my throat every day.
My boss at the restaurant, Sherry, was even getting excited, claiming she was dying to hold a baby again now that her three kids were teenagers.
I felt supported, and I needed it more than ever before. Without parents, or even family to have my back, I depended on my friends and was thankful they didn’t mind being my shoulder to cry on.
And boy did I cry.
My emotions weren’t just heightened from being pregnant. I was always on high alert, and something as silly as a commercial could have me sobbing.
I tried to be strong and focus on the good in my life. I had my health and nice place. My job was flexible and I’d been welcomed into a town that I was happy to call home.
But I still cried.
On the day of my sonogram to find out what I was having, Sarah’s youngest Maddy came down with a fever. It was rainy and cold outside, and I knew she couldn’t go with me. I’d stopped on my way because I needed gas, and when Bobby saw my car, he came running out and insisted on pumping it while I stayed warm and dry. I rolled down my window to pay him and say thanks for him helping. “Hey, here’s a twenty.”
He smiled and leaned against my window. “Your money’s no good here today, Katy. What are you doin’ out on this nasty day?”
“I’ve got a doctor’s appointment. It’s the big one where I find out what I’m having.”
Bobby looked over at the shop and then back to me. He tapped on the roof of my car. “Hey, pull over a minute and wait for me to come back.”
I did as he told me, especially after he wouldn’t take my money. Surprisingly, he hopped into the passenger seat, minus the coveralls that he’d just been wearing. “What are you doing?”
He smiled and looked over at me. “A pretty woman like you shouldn’t be doin’ this all by herself. I’m goin’ with you.”
“You don’t have to. I’m perfectly capable.”
He put his hands up. “Katy, it’s not a big deal. We’re friends and I’m just tryin’ to be supportive.”
Since I really didn’t want to do it alone, and we really were friends, I accepted his offer. After an hour wait, we were taken to the back. Bobby turned around while I got myself ready for the procedure. Once I was covered up with only my belly exposed, he sat down in the chair beside me.
The technician came in the room and started lubricating the roller. I watched the screen and recognized the head right away. A little heart was beating in the middle of the body.
The tech took a couple measurements and then started looking between the legs. “Do you want to know the sex?”
I was so excited. “Yes. Yes I do.”
She double checked before announcing, “It’s a girl. Congratulations.”
She printed out a picture showing that it was girl and left me to get cleaned up. I was so excited to know I was having a little girl that I started to cry. Bobby reached over and held my hand. “Are you goin’ to be alright? Did you want a boy?”
I laughed through another bout of tears. “No. A girl is perfect. I think it’s just overwhelming. You must think I’m crazy.”
He squeezed my hand and looked down at the picture. “I’ve never seen anything quite like that. It’s pretty amazin’, ain’t it?”