“I’m tired of fighting with you. I’m sick of all of it.” I waited to see if I was confusing him. When his eyes began to squint, I knew he was thinking. “What your Mom told us may be unbelievable, but I get why she did it. For the first time I understand what she’s been trying to get through my hard head. It’s like I’m seeing clearly, finally.” He held up his arms, like I made no sense at all. “Brooks, if you don’t move all of your shit into this house soon, I’m going to go crazy. There’s no reason you’re still going to the base to change. B and I need you here. We can’t be a family unless you’re here with us, all of the time. Your mom was right. I can’t change my past, and I shouldn’t ruin my future; our future. If it’s still okay, I’m ready to fall completely into this with you. I’ve been ready my whole life, but I was just too scared of losing you. I’m not scared anymore, Brooks. I’m not afraid of what tomorrow might bring, because I know you’re going to be there. I know you’ll protect me and love me like you’ve done our whole lives. God, I’ve wasted so much time. Are you even listening to me? Do you still want this?” He was silent. “Say something?”
He stared at me, never responding.
Then he fell back onto the bed and stared at the ceiling, while I sat there, crouched down on the floor. All of the sudden I heard him laughing.
No, he wasn’t just laughing, he was losing his mind, carrying on with himself so loudly that I knew his mother could hear him. I climbed on the bed, wondering if he was literally going insane. When I went to shake him, he grabbed my arm before I could make contact. Then he was quiet.
I looked at him, concerned and wondering if I’d been right to assume he was going crazy. That’s when I saw the tears running down the sides of his face. “Are you okay? Is it the affair? Do you want to talk about it?” I hadn’t considered that he needed time. I’d been selfish again and not put him first.
He sat up and peered into my eyes, so serious with intent. “I can’t be mad about something that we had no control over. I’ve never been one to live in the past, not when I knew you were always my future.”
The room started to spin as my heart rate picked up and I felt as if I were starting to float. “Come again?” I wanted to hear it one more time.
“I said that you are my future and I’ve always known it, well felt is a better word.”
I felt it too, every single time a flash of him came into my mind. I felt it when he walked into the room, or when he touched me. It was always there. I kissed him with more emotion that we’d ever shared between us. It was as if years of pain, and loss were being wiped clean from our memories. Love radiated between us and it wasn’t like our first kiss, or the first time I remembered being with him. This was something so much more powerful. It was forever finally opening its door for us to enter into.
Our slow and paced kisses turned into hunger. I needed to feel him against my skin and I wasn’t going to wait another second for it to happen. I’d stopped thinking about what other people thought of me, or how I’d played a part in Bobby losing his life. I wasn’t thinking about Danica and my father, or the pain that my mother felt. All I could feel was Brooks and the moment that we were having together. Our movements were in sync and, without even undressing, it felt as if we were already making love.
Brooks turned me around and unzipped the back of my dress. I could feel his knuckles getting close to my panty line before his hand went back up to assist with pulling it down, so that it could come all the way off of me. I turned around and stood there, in only a pair of underwear and admired the way he looked at me.
He didn’t make me feel uncomfortable, but instead desired. I could see him playing out his next move in his mind as he pulled me close. We kissed again and I pulled back teasing him with my wet lips. One button at a time, I started taking off his dress coat. He shimmied out of it and I lifted the white t-shirt up over his head. Both of his hands were on my breasts, cupping them, while he kissed the skin between them.
I used my hands to unbutton his pants and sank down off the bed to remove them. Brooks shoved his boxer briefs down to his knees and I pulled them off the rest of the way.
I looked right at him as I let my own underwear fall down to my feet. He leaned up on his elbows and motioned with his head for me to get on the bed.
I climbed on top of him, straddling his legs. He reached up and pulled my hair to fall over my breasts. “Tell me you’re mine.”
I leaned down to touch our lips together. “I belong to you, I always have and I always will.” I reached lower and traced the K tattoo under his left ribs. “And you belong to me.”