Love's Suicide(111)

Brooks scooped her up. “Let’s go get pretty and show everyone that Daddy knows how to shop.”

I laughed out loud watching them go around the corner until I heard him climbing the stairs.

While waiting for them to come back down, I started carrying everything out to the pool patio. The sun was shining and it was the perfect evening for a cook out. Branch carried all of the meat out to the grill, and although I pretended not to notice, I caught him looking at me again. It was uncomfortable, but not enough to bring up at the dinner table.

Brooks came out with our daughter in his arms. She had on a little red bikini with ruffles on the bottoms and his giant sunglasses over her eyes. With one hand on her hip, she walked up to her Grandmother, who’d just walked outside, and tapped on her leg. “Yook at me. I pwetty.”

Danica acted extremely excited, getting a reaction out of our sweet girl. She giggled and went running back to her father so he could scoop her back up. They walked over to me and I knew he was proud of himself. “What do you think? Is she not the cutest kid ever?”

How could I deny him the truth. “She is. You did good.”

He spun her around. “B, let’s go out and learn how to swim.”

We’d been swimming a few times already over the summer and B did well. She knew how to kick and hold her breath under water, but she still used a little ring, more for her own confidence. I knew Brooks would have her swimming like a fish in no time at all. He was determined to go about teaching her everything possible.

I watched them going up to the pool. He was blowing up her float and took it out of his mouth to let her try to blow it. What touched me the most was watching him take that slimy mouth piece and put it up to his lips without even wiping it.

I knew it was the smallest of things, but it showed me that his love for her was unconditional. She belonged to him and somehow, already, she knew it.

Brooks pulled off the glasses and her flip-flops and hopped into the pool before holding out his arms for her. She jumped right to him, letting out a scream when her body hit the cool water. I crossed my arms over my chest and smiled, feeling like life couldn’t be more perfect.

In a week’s time, everything had changed. I’d been given another chance, and even though it felt surreal, I knew it was really happening.

Danica came up and startled me when she put her hand on my shoulder. “Sorry.” She waited for me to catch my breath before she continued. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to tell you that Brooks promised Dad that you’d be back for Christmas. I know it’s going to be the best holiday and if it’s okay, I’d like to spoil my granddaughter with anything her little heart desires, starting with a special piece of jewelry. If it’s okay with you, of course.”

I turned to Danica and smiled. “I try not to spoil her, but I think it’s time she discovers what it’s like to have grandparents. I’m sure she will love whatever you get her. First we need to celebrate her birthday. I’d like you to come down to the house and stay when we have her party.”

She hugged me immediately. “Thank you, Katy. Thank you for being a good mother and allowing my son to be a part of his daughter’s life. I know you kept things from us, but I’m just so glad that he knew. I can imagine it helped him knowing that he had something to come home to when he was in Afghanistan.”

Immediately I turned away, avoiding the look of shame on my face. This woman didn’t even realize how off she was. Not only had I hid it from Brooks, up until almost two weeks ago, but I’d married another man. “I’d never keep something like that from him. He knew, but he also knew he couldn’t come home to me. We spoke through letters often and when he finally came home, we were able to reconnect right away.”

ALL LIES.

I hated myself.

She grabbed my hands and made me look at her. “I’m just glad that we know now. The past doesn’t matter as long as we can all move forward. This family means everything to me.” She started crying. “You don’t understand how hard this has been for me, and for Walt. Katy, one day you were all here and then next you were gone. I didn’t know if you were okay, or if you were hurt. Every time I watched the news I prayed that you weren’t involved. For the first couple of months I didn’t even sleep. We worried and worried. Then Brooks stopped talking to everyone. We knew he was halfway around the world and there was nothing we could do about it. I’d gotten to the point where even seeing Branch was hard, because he reminded me so much of the both of you. When Brooks came home and he reached out to us, it filled some of the void, but it wasn’t until you came walking through that door that I finally felt at peace again. Whether you marry Brooks or not is irrelevant. You’re like a daughter to me and you always have been. Nothing can ever change that. No matter how you think I’ll feel, remember that a parent doesn’t give up on their children. No matter what they do, even to each other, we love them. I will never give up on you. I love you all so much.”