“No.” He stood, drawing her closer. “That’s not what I am trying to say.”
She touched her palm to his cheek. “I know. But let’s call a spade a spade. You won’t ever love me because my years are numbered in decades instead of centuries.”
“Abbey…”
“Your Claudette knew that and still made a life with you. She loved you enough to entrust her daughter into your care.”
“You’re so sure she loved me?” he asked.
She heard the hesitancy in his question and smiled. “You’ve got your issues, haven’t you?”
“I didn’t mean—”
“Of course it was love,” she whispered, rising to her tiptoes. “No woman stays with a man for the better part of her life if it isn’t.”
Lucian shuddered under her hands. “When she died…”
He had no words and she didn’t need them. She understood. Claudette had been his human on a pedestal. Abbey had no hope of coming close to his ideal of his former lover. Hell, the other woman had given him a child whereas she had known him only a few weeks. If there was a competition, she was the obvious loser.
Claudette’s death had scared Lucian in a way he might not even be conscious of. Every time he thought of getting involved with a human, he remembered the pain of losing the mother of his adopted daughter. How did she counter that?
The answer was, she didn’t. She could never replace Claudette in his eyes. She shouldn’t even try.
She looked at him and thought of what his former lover must have decided. A lifetime with this man was worth any pain encountered in the long run.
“Thank you,” she said, running her fingers through his hair. “Knowing about her helps.”
“Why?” he asked, catching her hand.
“Because you were capable of caring for a mortal once.”
“I care for you,” he said. “More than I should. More than I thought I could.”
She wanted to ask if it was more than he’d felt for Claudette but held her tongue. That was an answer she didn’t want to hear.
“I missed you,” she said instead. “And I wished I didn’t.”
“I went out with Vivian’s candidates and felt nothing. Not a single one of them could compete with you.”
“A human?” she said before she could stop herself.
“I don’t give a damn what you are, as long as you’re in my arms.”
She knew the words didn’t hold as much weight as she wanted them to, but she still let him pull her close.
She shut her eyes when his lips touched hers and gave herself up to his expert caresses. He’d amazed her, thrilled her, hurt her. And yet here they were.
“Come with me,” she whispered, pulling him toward her bedroom.
“Into that whirlwind of colors?” he asked.
She heard the teasing in his tone. “I like to be flamboyant, at least in private. If that displeases your lordship, feel free to use the door.”
“I doubt I’d be able to find it in the mishmash of your home.” He reached for the zipper of her dress.
“Then you’ll have to stay here forever.”
Her whispered words stilled his hands.
“So it seems,” he said.
She watched him, wishing she knew what he was thinking.
Lucian caught her mouth, pulling the zipper down as far as it would go.
Abbey shrugged out of her dress as she walked toward her bed. Her underwear set was plain beige. Hardly the kind to set a man on fire, yet Lucian acted as if he’d never seen anything so beautiful.
His hands rose to cup her breasts. “Lovely,” he murmured. “I worried I’d never see them again.”
“Your choice,” she couldn’t help saying. “Not mine.”
“My eternal apologizes.” He ran his thumbs over her taut nipples. “Forgive me?”
In that moment? Anything.
She shrugged out of her bra and stood before him in only her panties.
“Have I ever seen anything more stunning?” he whispered against her chest.
Abbey closed her eyes and pretended she could believe him. Who knew how long this change of heart would last? She needed to enjoy it while she could.
“I need you,” she said.
“Never let it be said I left a woman wanting,” he replied as he tumbled her backward into bed.
She bounced twice before he was there, between her legs. He kissed her navel as his fingers hooked around the side of her panties. Her lover moved down her body as he pulled the fabric off her and kneeled at her feet.
Meeting his eyes, she opened her legs without a word. A half smile twisted his lips. He shed his own clothes in seconds before wrapping his fingers around each ankle to pull her legs even farther apart.