Love You Madly(51)

“Was that what that little pill was? I’m afraid I couldn’t salvage it. It’s in the trash.”

She ran her hand through her tangled hair. “It’s okay. I think I’ll just go back up.”

They stood there, staring at each other. Neither one moving yet.

There was something she wanted to ask him, and it had been running through her head on a loop. Wondering the answer.

“Travis?” Now or never. “Do you think that, if you weren’t who you are and I wasn’t who I am and I hadn’t done any of that stuff to you in the past and we were just meeting for the first time now…would you have said no to me earlier?”

The sound of crickets followed. Real crickets that chirped in the warm summer air just outside, making his silence more pronounced.

This was awful. Why hadn’t she just let it go?

Finally, he ran his hand through his short hair. “Hell, Mer. Thing is, it’s all so tied up, our past, that I don’t know if I could answer that. Since I first saw you the other day, in many ways you’ve been the same, but in other ways also…different. And I want to believe that you’ve finally changed.”

“But you don’t think people can change.” He’d said it earlier, in reference to his dad.

“Yeah. I don’t,” he admitted.

“I’m kind of confused…so your answer. It’s no.” He didn’t think she could change. “Right?” She barely managed the last before the air seemed to be sucked out of her lungs. She turned and walked out of the kitchen and down the hall. His footsteps followed. “I seem to be unable to stop humiliating myself tonight.”

“You haven’t humiliated yourself. Far from it.”

What else was he going to say? She took the stairs two at a time, her lungs ready to burst. She reached her door and was ready to shut it, but he was there, his face framed in the doorway. More softly, she asked, “But you do think I’m a monster. That I’m capable of causing you pain all over again. Right?”

He smiled and for a minute she considered slamming the door in his face. “You’ve done some pretty mean things in your life, but I don’t think you’re a monster. Your pranks…they were mean, yes. They hurt people. But I can see now that in many ways, the person they hurt the most was…you.”

Instantly, shame washed over her again. Shame and regret. She’d been cruel, to him and so many others. “I’m sorry. I really am. For everything. For the pain and humiliation I caused you. And despite all I did, you’re still here. Helping. Even if I don’t deserve it.”#p#分页标题#e#

“Wrong. You deserve a hell of a lot more than you think you do, Mer. When you stop being such a pain in the ass, you’re actually kind of amazing. Surprisingly witty. Strong. Intelligent. Fiercely protective. And near as I can tell, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.”

It was so quiet now, the only sound her heavy breathing thanks to her race from the kitchen, and she processed what he’d said. She smiled. “You think I’m funny?”

No one had ever accused her of that.

“No,” he said, and she looked at him in confusion, until she saw his lips turned into that breathtaking smile. “I said you’re witty. There’s a difference.”

And he thought she was beautiful.

…

The faint street light outside crept through the crack in the curtains and lit the room enough so Travis could see her dark eyes, wide and disbelieving.

“How is it you can see all these qualities in me after what I’ve done to you?” she asked, incredulous. “How can you not hate me?”

Hate? He thought he’d hated her, all these years. But only now he recognized that using hate had helped mask the range of feelings that he’d likely always felt for her, despite everything she’d done to him. Feelings that he’d been fighting all over again since the moment he saw her in that coffee shop.

“I don’t hate you, Mer. It would be a hell of a lot easier if I did.” His hand reached out to outline her lip with his finger, noticing the way it trembled under his touch. Always so damned responsive. “It’s taking every ounce of strength I have not to hold you again and feel you respond so easily to my touch. To not taste that damned fine mouth of yours and feel those endless legs of yours wrap themselves around me. To not show you just how much I really do like you.”

She sucked in her breath, blinking a few times as she processed his words. Words he couldn’t take back now. When she spoke, she raised her chin as if to challenge him, even though her bottom lip quivered. “Then…do it. Show me.”