She continued crying, making it hard to make out what she was saying. “What am I supposed to do, Brooks? It’s too late. You should have fought for me back then. You should have told me how you felt. Branch said you didn’t like me that way. How could I have known?”
“Because you felt it in here.” I pointed to her heart and kept my hand there. “Because deep inside you knew how I felt about you. It was never a secret. I worshipped the ground you walked on. When you were sad, I was there. Not him! I was the one to wipe away your tears. You should be wearing that God damn dress for me, not my brother!” My anger was coming out with my words, and although I didn’t mean them, it was helping to be able to say what needed to be addressed. “You broke my heart, Kat. You pushed me away, like an old toy. That’s why I stopped hanging out with you. It’s why I stopped wanting to do things and stayed by myself. Do you know what it was like to hear you and him sneaking around together? How do you think it made me feel?”
She sobbed and moved her head around, as if she was trying so hard to understand, but couldn’t grasp exactly what was happening. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.”
I threw my arms in the air. “You didn’t know? How could you not know? Even my fucking parents knew. Don’t tell me that you lived in the same house with me and saw me every single day, but were oblivious to how I felt about you?”
“I swear, it’s true.”
I tugged my key card out of my pocket and stuck it in the slot as I spoke. “You know what? It doesn’t even matter now. There is no us. You’ve never really been mine and I’ve spent the last few years being okay with that.” I opened the door, but didn’t go inside. “I’m not going to kiss you, because it won’t get us anywhere, and you’d be cheating on my brother. No matter how much of an asshole he is, you’re marrying him in less than twenty-four hours. I can’t go back there again. It hurt too fucking much the first time, and it’s going to take everything I have in me to get through tomorrow.” By this time my tears were drying. I was willing them to vacate so I could get through this without her arguing about it. “I think we should just call it a night and start over in the morning.”
When I went into that hotel room and closed the door I knew she was standing on the other side, waiting for me change my mind. I pressed my head against the other side before crumbling down to the floor. That’s where I began to weep, like I never had in my life.
Kat was in love with me. Her words repeated in my mind like a broken record. She’d always been in love with me, which meant Branch lied to win her. He’d lied to both of us to prevent us from being together because even back then he knew she wanted me.
It took every ounce of energy I had to not bust through his door and beat the living shit out of him. He’d ruined my life. He’d purposely destroyed me for his own gain. What kind of brother does that? For the past twenty years he’d done nothing but lie to make sure I never had a chance.
It was too unbearable to fathom.
After a few minutes of losing my shit, I headed into the bathroom to wash off my face. I was prepared to sleep it off, in order to get through the next day with composure.
Then I began to regret my decision. This was my last chance. Did I really care what anyone else thought? Even if my parents were pissed, they’d know before anyone that I’d acted out of love. Kat wasn’t just my weakness. She was my reason for existing.
When a knock came from the door I was sure she’d come back. In that moment nothing else mattered. This time I would pull her inside and never let go unless she asked me to. This time I’d act on impulse alone.
Except it wasn’t Kat at the door. It was Melissa. She’s freshened up her makeup, hair, and even her clothes. Her what I’d call reddish, hair looked brighter in the hallway lights. Her smile was probably tantalizing to some, but not to me. Unlike what my brother had assumed, I wasn’t into ‘gingers’ or any other type of woman. In fact, I didn’t have a type, because there was only one particular woman for me. On a planet full of options, my heart yearned for Kat.
“Melissa. What’re you doing here?”
“You told me to come.”
“Where’s Kat, err Katy? Have you seen her?”
“She’s a wreck over some falling out with Branch. She left me in the room to go pout about it somewhere. I’m sure by now she’s gone after him to make amends, she’s got some rule about not going to bed angry. Katy can be irrational at times.” Her flip comment made me want to cringe. If my brother wasn’t such a pompous asshole than maybe she’d be a happier person. “So, are you going to let me in?”