The line was silent, and then I finally realized he’d hung up on me. That evening, while I was lying on my bunk, I heard my phone vibrate. When I checked the message I saw that it was from my brother. “She’s not going to marry me unless you’re a part of it.”
“Tell her I’ve been shipped overseas. Tell her they are deploying me. Tell everyone for all I care.”
“If I find out she knows, all hell is going to break loose. I’m warning you now.”
I wasn’t afraid of my brother, or his threats. He could shove them up his ass and twirl around for all I cared.
I wished that phone call had been the end of it, but a letter from Kat told me I was wrong.
Dear Brooks,
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, and maybe I should have told you a long time ago, but I found your letter in the tree house. Before I make you hate me, I want you to know that your words touched my heart. I don’t hate you for being there for me. I was mad, but I didn’t hate you.
Look, I took the note to your room and put it under your pillow so you’d find it when you visited. I didn’t know someone else would go in there.
Now it’s missing and I’m freaking out. Someone knows your secret; our secret.
Please don’t hate me, Brooks.
Love, Kat
PS: Please come home for the wedding. Whatever happens we can explain that it was all in the past. We’re a family and we’ll work through it.
At first I didn’t know how to respond. Obviously she didn’t know Branch had been the one to find the letter, and she certainly hadn’t suspected that he’d already called to rip me a new ass. What bothered me the most was the secrets being kept between two people that were about to marry.
Figuring that I should leave well enough alone, I refused to write her back at first. Then, after two weeks of letting it all simmer, I decided she need not worry about the letter, so she could focus on everything else that was more important to her.
Dear Kat,
I can see how you’re freaking out right now. You don’t need to be. The person that found the letter isn’t going to say anything, I can assure you of that.
Maybe if you weren’t always going into my room when you visited, they wouldn’t have went looking.
Anyway, it doesn’t even matter now. All is good and you can calm down.
As far as me coming home for the wedding, that may be a problem. I’m being deployed in January to Afghanistan and I’ve signed on to stay for two years.
By the time you get this letter Mom and Dad will already know and I will have made them promise to let me call Branch to tell him the bad news.
I’m really sorry I can’t be there to see you walk down the aisle. I know you’ll be the most beautiful woman that this world has ever seen.
Take care of my brother and yourself.
Love, Brooks
That next day I volunteered myself to be shipped to Afghanistan. Nothing else mattered. I had no reason to be optimistic about a future. My life had ended the day I signed it away to the Armed Forces. I knew what I was getting into, proving only that going home would never be an option. They’d all be better off if I never returned.
Chapter 8
I’ll never forget the July morning when my cell phone rang with a familiar number displayed across it. By the time I got the nerve to answer she’d already hung up. My reaction wasn’t well thought though it didn’t need to be. Talking to Kat came natural. I redialed her number and listened to her answering. Suddenly everything I’d worked so hard to forget was right back as if it had only been pretending to be dormant.
Her voice filled my senses, making the hairs stand up on my skin. I could feel my body shaking, reminding me that after so long I was really hearing her talk.
“Hello?”
“What, did you change your mind or something? Is my voice not as sexy as it was before?” I wasn’t sure if breaking the ice with humor was a good idea, but I did it anyway, out of my own uncomfortableness. I hadn’t practiced this because I swore it would never happen. Even though I’d spoke to my brother, it was obvious he didn’t want the two of us communicating.
Her laughter allowed me to know that she was in good spirits. “Your voice is fine. I just… I had to sneak to get your number, and I don’t really know why I’m calling. I guess I just wanted to hear your voice.”
“Is it everything you wanted it to be?” I teased.
“All that and then some.” God, I missed her so much. A constant ache was tugging my heart, forcing me to face the truth, and it was very clear. No matter how much space I put between us, it would never change the amount of love I felt for her.
“I miss you, Kat. It gets real lonely sometimes. On nights like that, I wish I could call you and talk about damn near anything to pass the time. You and I never ran out of things to talk about, did we?” I could hear her sniffling. “Please don’t cry.”