I saw her looking down at the scars on my arm. “What does that mean?”
“Well, depending on a few factors, I may not be able to stay on active duty. I know I can’t pass a normal physical evaluation. Without feeling in my hand and arm, I can’t operate the machinery that I was trained to use.”
“You said it didn’t bother you.”
“It doesn’t. For the most part, I can’t feel much of anything. I just assumed that it was alright. But I can tell that sometimes I lose the feeling and control over it.”
She put her hand over her mouth. “Jesus, you picked me up before. You just carried a mattress. What were you thinking?”
I lifted my fingers up to run them over her lips. “I was thinking that I’d waited my whole life to be with you and hold a child that we shared together. When the opportunity was in front of me, I couldn’t refuse it.”
“So, it’s our fault you may not be able to work?”
I shook my head. She was just being silly now. “Even if it was, I wouldn’t be mad. I’ve got plans for us, Kat, and they don’t involve the military. Getting out wouldn’t be that bad. I could get a job and we’d be fine.”
“I still can’t believe that you want to be with me. So much has happened. If you were smart, you would have forgotten about me a long time ago.”
“We’re a family. I’ve doubted myself for many reasons in my life, but deciding to love you was never something I ever considered giving up. That probably makes me a fool. I really don’t care what anyone thinks about it. We can be something beautiful together and that’s all I need to know.”
Kat smacked me lightly on the chest. “Stop doing that.”
“What?” I played innocent.
“Making me love you even more.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” I quickly changed the subject. “I’ve got some paint outside. I’m going to need to paint the ceiling before we can get the sheets on the bed. I bought you the nice thick ones like we had growing up.”
Kat rolled over as if she was going to spectate only. “I guess I’ll just lay here and watch.”
I kissed her on the nose before standing up. “Sounds good to me.” Right before stepping out of the room I stopped to ask her something else. “So, did you get everything taken care of today?”
Kat leaned up on her elbows. “For the most part. The church is basically taking over and everyone pretty much made it clear that I wasn’t going to be welcome. They all think I’m a terrible person. I know you don’t see it, but maybe they’re all right. How else could I feel so happy to start over with you, in the midst of a tragedy?”
I felt it necessary to walk back over where she was and kneel in front of her. “Kat, you’re human and you’re coping. If I wasn’t here, life would be different, but I can’t let what’s happened come between us. I won’t. Only you and Bobby know what happened in that truck. You can blame yourself for the rest of your life if that will help you cope. The fact is that, he forced you into that vehicle, after breaking a protective order and hunting you down, with every intention of harming you, or maybe even worse. Wake up and see what I see because nowhere does it say that defending yourself can be construed as murder. You were trying to survive in a dire situation, one where your life felt threatened. If they can’t understand that, then screw them. They weren’t your real friends anyway.”
After gathering all the supplies, I went back into the bedroom. I hopped on the bed and looked at the ceiling close up. “I need to seal the spot. I checked earlier, and it didn’t go through. He must have put out the flames as soon as they started to get high. One coat of this primer and couple coats of the paint should do the trick. If you hate it, I’ll rip out the drywall and replace the whole area.”
“You know how to do all that?”
“Do you think I just wear this uniform and walk around all day looking sexy?” She obviously did.
She laughed at me. “Of course not. I just didn’t think they taught you stuff like this.”
“Woman, you’ve got a lot to learn about the things I know.” I bent down and touched the tip of her nose with a wet paintbrush.
Kat reached over and ran her hands up my shirt. She knew it would make me crazy. “I’m a more hands on kind of learner.”
I sat the paint can down and hovered over her, prepared for whatever she had in mind. The painting could wait. “Let’s get started then.”
Chapter 56
The next couple days seemed like they had been before all hell broke loose. The house was finally put back together. I’d repaired any dings or holes that had been put in the walls. My mom had made sure every square inch was scrubbed clean. Kat was able to rest her hip knowing that we had everything taken care of for her. I had to admit that my mom being there during the day was a godsend. In the evenings she made dinner for when I was set to arrive home. I appreciated knowing that she was making sure Kat stayed off her feet, but also that B had someone to keep her occupied.