Love Me for Me(56)

“Hope you like lemon in your sweet tea,” she said, handing Libby a glass. “It’s not homemade. I got it premade at the market. It was some new brand. Thought I’d try it.” Celia took a sip of her own and set the glass on the coffee table.

“Thanks,” Libby smiled. In adulthood, her mother seemed to want to please her, to make her happy. It occurred to Libby that Celia’s own insecurities and need to please people had probably been instrumental in her choices in raising Libby. Her mother seemed as anxious as Libby did most of the time, and Libby understood that now. “I got an interview in New York,” she said, knowing how delighted her mother would be with the news.

Celia clapped her hands together loudly. “Oh! That’s fantastic, Libby! I’m so proud of you!” Then, as quickly as her smile had emerged, it faded. “Be sure you tell Marty. Give him enough time to get organized before you leave.”

“I haven’t gotten the job yet, Mom. And Marty did tell me in our initial phone interview that it could be temporary, so it shouldn’t be too much trouble for him.”

“Well, I just know you’re going to get it! Won’t you be so happy to get out of here?” She took a sip of her tea.

“Can I ask you something?” Libby said, setting her glass down and turning toward Celia. Her mother waited, her eyebrows raised, an expectant look on her face. “If you’re so glad for me to get out of here, why did you stay all these years?”

Celia’s face became serious and she sat for a few silent seconds without responding. She frowned, her chest rising and falling with her breath. “Your father and I moved here for his job when we were young. I didn’t necessarily like it here, but we had to go where he could work. Then, like anywhere else, we started to make a life.” She paused for a long time, then took a sip of tea before continuing. “Your dad left me, Libby, and I couldn’t afford to go anywhere. I’d left my career far behind. That’s why I worked so hard to get you where you are. I didn’t want you to fall into the same trap.”

Libby had never heard her mother be that candid before, that honest, that open. She’d always said, “Chin up,” whenever Libby failed, and she’d pushed her harder. Now, Celia was showing Libby that she didn’t always have her chin up. She was letting Libby see her vulnerable side. For the first time in her life, Libby saw someone in front of her who was just like her, who understood her like only family could.

“I figured, but I’ve always wondered. Thank you for telling me.”

Celia smiled. “Now you know.” She stood up. “I’ve got chicken parmesan in the oven. Let me go check on it.”

Libby watched her leave, still thinking about her mother’s words. Now, looking at Celia Potter, Libby saw someone completely different. She saw a woman who had been heartbroken, who had spent her whole adult life trying to overcome the misery of a failed marriage. Her mother had lived so many years there, stuck where she’d never wanted to be, most likely hoping to find that happiness again, but knowing she wouldn’t get it. So she’d pinned all her hopes on Libby. She didn’t want Libby to get caught there, trapped in a relationship that may be doomed to fail. She’d made sure Libby’s life didn’t look a thing like hers. The whole time, Libby had thought she’d been protecting her mother by trying to make her happy, when really it had been Celia who had been trying with everything she had to ensure Libby’s happiness. Celia struggled with showing love—that much was clear. But Libby finally understood that by raising her the way she had, Celia was trying her best to show that love. Libby felt a warmth for her mother that she’d never felt before.

“It’s steaming hot, but dinner’s ready,” Celia called out from the next room.

Libby took her glass and headed into the kitchen.

“Grab your plate,” Celia said with a grin, “Let’s eat like we used to, just us girls.”

So many nights it had been only the two of them eating exactly like that. All of those nights, Libby had tried her best to relate to her mother but always struggled. Tonight was different. She finally got her.

During dinner, conversation was easy and enjoyable. Libby only wished she’d figured her mother out sooner than the day before her interview. If she got the job, she’d be moving back as soon as she could, putting distance between them once again. She promised herself she’d come home more often. She’d be sure to stop by Catherine’s and say hello. She may even try to get around to visit some of the people in town if she could. But most importantly, she’d come and visit her mom and Jeanie, Helen and Pop. And Pete. She’d never stay away that long again.