“Thanks.” He smiled down at her. “I got the idea from you.”
“What?” she asked, kicking off her sandals to keep them from sinking into the sand. She set them next to an empty chair. The beach was filling with people dancing, the tables emptying out.
“Remember when we were fifteen and Mom was turning forty? She didn’t have a party and we gave her a picnic at the public beach just outside of Kilmarnock? It had been your idea.”
Libby giggled at the memory. “I do! We packed her sandwiches and a birthday cake that Ryan bought at the supermarket.” She had completely forgotten that memory until then.
“Yep,” he grinned, and she thought she saw affection seeping out from behind his eyes. Libby didn’t want to notice it, but she had. “I thought we could give her a slightly upgraded version of a beach birthday party this time.”
“Pete!” Ryan called from the makeshift dance floor. “Bring Libby over here!”
Libby was frozen to the spot. She didn’t want to go because if she went over there, they’d probably be forced to dance, and she’d have to feel him against her. Pete looked at her, uncertainty in his eyes. All the tables were empty now, the area by the guitar player full of people. Even Jeanie had found her way down and was doing the jitterbug with a little boy.
“Pete! What are you waiting for?” his brother playfully taunted him. “Get over here!”
Pete nodded toward the gathering of people. “Let’s just go over there,” he said, clearly not wanting to go himself. They snaked their way through the guests until they reached Ryan and Emily. Just as they neared them, the music changed to something slower and Pete looked at her uncomfortably. Ryan took Emily by the waist and pulled her close, swaying to the music. The guitar player only had to play the first few notes of the song before Libby recognized it. They’d played Helen’s Billy Joel album on the old record player hundreds of times, and this had been their song.
“Just the Way You Are,” she smiled nervously, looking at Pete. He was peering down at her, his eyes gentle but his face serious. He nodded. Just like all the girls she’d known in school with boyfriends, they, too, had a song. The difference was that this particular one hadn’t faded with the years for her; it was the kind of song that still made her feel something inside.
As the song played, the notes bouncing around her amidst the sound of the ripples of water against the sand, she felt a different ache. This wasn’t an ache of sadness like the one she’d had coming back and having to face everything she’d left; it was an ache for what she couldn’t have.
“Be a man, Pete,” his brother kidded, clapping him on the back before embracing Emily again. “Dance with her,” he said over his shoulder.
Pete took in a slow breath, his gaze somewhere in the distance over the crowd. Then he pulled her toward him and embraced her with one arm, holding her other hand. They were dancing in the sand, his arm around her, the wind rushing in between them. She wanted to clasp her hands behind his neck like she had so many years ago, put her face against his chest, hear his breathing. The feel of him this close to her was making her woozy and she was having trouble knowing where to look because if she looked at him, she worried that she’d fall apart.
Pete didn’t say a word as they danced. With the rustling of the pines and the voices of the crowd mixing with the music, she held onto him, wondering what was going through his mind. When she finally looked at him, and he at her, she didn’t see the affection behind his eyes anymore like she had all the other times they’d been that close. She silently wished for it, the ache in her chest getting worse.
Chapter Fourteen
The music sped up and Pete let go of Libby. She didn’t look at him again because she didn’t want to have to try and decipher his expression. She didn’t want to know if he was happy or sad or mad… It all hurt too much. With the sun on her face and the soft music gone, she used the moment to try and come to her senses. My time here is limited, she said to herself, and I need to remember that. Even if she didn’t want to ever let him go. It wasn’t a real possibility, so she needed to get her head out of the clouds. No more dancing, she resolved. It was too intimate.
The crowd had thinned, some guests now back at the tables. Ryan was dancing with his little girl, Charlotte. Jeanie had found Helen and they were chatting. “I heard you were here somewhere,” Pop called from the grassy embankment near the top of the shore.
Libby waved, grabbing both her glass from one of the tables and her sandals, following Pete’s lead to meet Pop. With a few wiggles, she kicked the sand off her feet and slipped on her shoes. “How are you, Pop?” she said as she reached him, giving him a hug.