Love Me for Me(17)

She embraced Libby, nearly knocking her over, her carrier bags thumping into her as they slid down Catherine’s arms. “It’s been so long! Where have you been?” She pulled back, shaking her head.

“New York.”

“Well, I know that. Everyone knows that. But I meant, why have you just come home now? We’ve all missed you so much!”

“I’ve missed you, too,” Libby said, and for the first time since she’d gotten there, she meant that. She was truly sorry not to have kept in touch better. It was all just hitting her, and it was a little overwhelming.

“Does Pete know you’re home?”

Worry and hurt and shame churned in her stomach. For Catherine, it was just a simple question about two people who had once been very close, but for Libby it was an inquisition, a judgment. She felt as if Catherine were really saying, I know what you said to Pete when you left, and I live here too, you know. Am I insignificant?

“I’ve run into him, yes.”

“Here,” she held out her hand, “give me your phone. I’ll put my number in, and we can catch up.” Libby handed her cell to Catherine. “I’d really love to get together. How long are you staying?” she asked, her fingers moving at warp speed across the keypad.

“It would be nice to get together,” she smiled. It was good to see Catherine, good to have a friendly face. “I’m getting the Roberts’ cottage ready to sell, so I’ll stay as long as that takes. Maybe you could offer some ideas. Remember when we painted your bedroom?” Libby laughed.

“Oh, yeah! We thought the paint was a light yellow, and it was chartreuse! All my furniture was brown—do you remember?—and so we tried to paint it all white to tone it down. I thought my parents would kill us!”

They both giggled together and Libby was glad for the moment of relief.

“Well, you’d better call!” She stood up and handed Libby her phone.

“Of course I will.”

“See you soon!”

“Bye.” Libby thought about how much harder facing everyone was compared to leaving them. She decided to hurry back to the cottage. She didn’t want to run into Pete. She needed to get herself together before seeing him again.





Chapter Six





The rental car still running, she looked at the gas gauge. How long can I sit here? she wondered. She eyed the door to see if Pete had come out. In her rearview mirror, she had a glimpse of one side of his Bronco parked in front of the post office. What is taking him so long? Why won’t he come out, get in his car, and leave? She wasn’t ready to see him yet. She hadn’t worked out what she wanted to say or even how to emote.

There was a knock on her car window, sending her jumping with fright.

“Don’t you have anything better to do than stalk me at the post office?” Pete said as she put her window down.

He was wearing a blue T-shirt and tan shorts that came just to his knees, his hair messy from the wind outside. He leaned on the door with one hand, his fit arm showing through his sleeve. He’d always been thin, despite his attempts to bulk up, but she liked that about him. She frantically searched his eyes for any hint of affection, any lapse in total hatred for her, but there was nothing there. His all-too-familiar grin was absent, his strong jaw clenched, his face vacant.

“I waited for you to come in, but you kept sitting in your car,” he said.

“You were waiting for me?” She turned off the engine.

“Yeah. I’d like to know when you’re leaving.”

“I don’t know,” she said quietly. She looked down at her lap, her eyes stinging from the tears that wanted to come. Seeing him brought back all the feelings she’d had for him, as if she hadn’t been gone a day. She wanted to see him smile, feel him fiddle with her fingers when they held hands like he had so many years ago. He was right there but so far away at the same time. She wanted to make him happy, make him understand how terrible she felt for hurting him. But if she tried to tell him all those things, it wouldn’t do anything but make it worse. Eventually, she had to leave. She needed opportunities that were not available to her in White Stone. The conversation would inevitably return to that fact. “I’m leaving as soon as I can,” she said.

“Right.” He blew air through is lips and looked out over the top of her car as if searching for something.

“Look, I get it that you don’t want me here. The real estate agent was message enough.”

Pete didn’t say anything, but she thought she saw contemplation in his eyes.

“Can you let me out please?” She swallowed to alleviate her drying mouth. “I need to pick up some boxes…”