She ignores me.
"Of course, I've only seen it once … "
She stops, snatches the bottle from me and takes an especially long drink.
"Can you just not flirt with me for five seconds?"
"Fine, let's talk about you and Noah."
She groans.
"You were supposed to be working things out … or thinking … or-"
"I am!"
I scratch my head and look at her out of the corner of my eye.
"Where is he?"
She sniffs. "We had a fight."
"About?"
We cross the street and head west.
"You."
My skin tingles. I don't know whether to feel guilty, curious or happy that I'm important enough to cause discord.
"You told him that you saw me?"
She nods.
"I can't imagine he liked that."
"He knows everything about us. I never tried to hide things from him. I thought you and I were over, and I wanted to be honest with him."
I grab her hand and pull her to a stop. "Olivia, he knew how you felt about me, and he still married you."
I can't keep the incredulity out of my voice. What man would sign up for that? I rub my hand along the back of my sweat-soaked neck.
"Don't take that self-righteous tone with me when you did the same thing."
"That was different. I stayed with Leah because she was pregnant. I thought it was the right thing."
Olivia's mouth pops open. "Leah was … " She shakes her head. "It's none of my business. And you're right - it was different. Noah is a wonderful person, unlike that black-hearted bitch you married."
We're nearing her office building. She fumbles in her purse until she finds her keys. Instead of going to her car, she opens the door to Spinner & Kaspen and punches the code into the alarm system.
"We were on a cruise when he asked me to marry him. We were taking a walk on the deck, and he just turned to me and said, ‘If you weren't in my life anymore, I'd be devastated. I want you to marry me.'"
I search her eyes trying to figure out why she's telling me this.
"He said he knew what I felt for you was real, but he was willing to love me through it."
I swallow. Damn. He's a better man than me.
"I forgot you for a year. Noah was good at making me forget."
I interrupt her because I don't want to hear this. "Olivia-"
"Shut up." The door swings shut behind us and we're standing in the dark waiting room. All I can see are the outlines of her face. "I am in love with him, Caleb. I am."
I grind my teeth together.
"But when I won the case, and I went into panic mode, it wasn't him I wanted to talk to." She sounds almost ashamed to say it. I remember how she showed up at my condo. "I just wanted you … and when Dobson escaped from the institution - I wanted you. When I had a miscarriage … " She places a hand over her mouth and sobs into it.
"Duchess … "
"Shut up and let me finish." She uses her fingertips to wipe underneath her eyes. "When I had a miscarriage, I wanted your arms around me," she says again. "Caleb, it hurts him. I don't know whether to scream I told you so at him, or to drown myself in the ocean for bringing destruction into everything I do."
She turns and stalks to her office. I follow her blindly. She flings the door open and flicks on the desk lamp instead of the halogen bulbs that hang from the ceiling. Walking over to her filing cabinet, she opens it and pulls out a stack of papers. She hands them to me.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
My eyes water, my throat burns. "I was going to - that night."
Her chin rises and her lips tilt downward. "She was-"
"An old friend - she was in charge of building the house."
"And when I saw you-"
"We were going over the plans. I told her I was going to propose that night. She asked to see the ring."
She sucks in her cheeks and turns her face away until she's looking at the wall to her left.
"You were going to propose to me?"
The tears are already cutting across her cheeks, dripping off her chin, and I haven't even gotten to the worst part.
"Yes."
She looks at the floor and nods. "So what did I see - when I walked in?"
"We were just talking. She told me she had feelings for me. I was trying to reassure her it wasn't mutual."
She punches her fists on her hips and cuts a circle around the room. "So, why didn't you tell me that?"
"You started throwing things at me pretty fast, Duchess. I could barely open my mouth before you'd called me your father, told me you loved me for the first time and stormed out. I went after you - to your apartment first. I waited for a few hours and when you didn't come back, I figured you must have gone to the hotel. By the time I got there … "
"So, it's all my fault?"
I grab for her. "No," I say. "It was my fault. I didn't fight hard enough. I should have grabbed you, made you listen."
"You didn't even kiss her?"
"No, but I was attracted to her. I had thought about it."
"Oh God, give me a minute … " She begins pacing between her desk and the window. I slide down the wall until I am sitting, one knee propped up.
Finally, she says, "Noah asked me if I still love you."
I clear my throat. "What did you tell him?"
She sits down, sliding her feet out of the flips-flops and back into her stilettos. I watch as she bends down to tie the clasps on each one, her hair falling over her shoulder and grazing the ground. She's buying time, trying to look busy while she thinks.
"That we're dysfunctional and toxic!"
"We were dysfunctional and toxic," I correct her.
She shoots me a dirty look and runs her hands along her thighs. I get the feeling she's trying to wipe me away.
"You and I are in love, baby." I take a swig from the tequila bottle and rest my arm on my raised knee. The liquor is beginning to burn my throat.
"No … nope." She shakes her head. "We're drunk," she informs me, "and drunk people have crazy, sporadic thoughts."
"Very true," I agree. "Sometimes when I'm drunk, I think that loving you is sane."
She throws a clump of sticky notes at me. I move my head to the left and they hit the wall. I take another sip of tequila.
She's working herself into a frenzy. It's sexy. I wait for her to start swearing and am rewarded a minute later.
"There is nothing fucking solid to fucking prove that we fucking work. We've bombed out like-"
I stand up, and her mouth snaps shut.
"Proof … you need proof, Duchess?"
She shakes her head. I drank more than I should have and my emotions are riding a very large tequila wave.
"Because I can show you exactly what you need." I advance toward her and she backs up.
"Don't you dare." She holds up a finger to ward me off. I smack it away and grab her by the waist, yanking her against me. I lower my mouth to her ear.
"Let me do whatever I want to you for one night, and you'll have all the proof you need."
Her eyes glaze over and I laugh, bending my head down to touch our lips together. I run my tongue along the inside of her top lip. She shoves at my chest.
"Don't!" she says, trying to push me away.
"Why not?" I kiss the corner of her mouth and she whimpers. "Peter Pan," I whisper into her ear.
"I'm afraid."
"Afraid of what?" I kiss the opposite corner.
She's not as stiff as she was a minute ago. I kiss her mouth full on and close my eyes at the feel of her lips. God, I am so whipped by this woman.
"Of how vulnerable you make me."
She opens her mouth and lets me kiss her. She doesn't kiss back.
"I make you vulnerable because you love me. That's the price you pay for love, baby girl."
We are kissing softly now, pausing to speak, but never moving more than an inch away from each other.
"You have to have real feelings to make love. We made love in the orange grove."
I back her up until the backs of her thighs are flush against the desk.
I move my hands to the hem of her dress and begin sliding them up her legs. "How often do you think about the orange grove, Olivia?"
She's panting.
"Every day."
I grab the backs of her thighs and lift her onto the desk. I stand between her legs and slide the dress over her head. I kiss one shoulder then the other.
"Me too."
Unstrapping her bra, I lower my head and take a nipple in my mouth. Her whole body arches backwards and her thighs clench around my waist.
"Everything you do is sexy. Have I ever told you that?" I move to the other side … repeat the motion until she squirms.
She latches her hands in my hair, and it takes every ounce of my willpower not to take her right then.
"Still the silent lover," I say, moving back to her mouth. Her eyes are closed, but her lips are parted. "But we both know, Duchess, that I have the secret to working your vocal cords."
Her eyes fly open. I trail a finger down her neck. She's trying to formulate a snarky comeback, but I have her body in my hands and she can't seem to make words.
I kiss her neck softly. One of her arms is looped around my neck, and the other is clutching my bicep. Her eyes are smoky blue. She's listening to me seduce her with an almost eager look on her face. I run my hands down her sides and loop my fingers around the thin straps of her panties. As I pull down, she lifts her hips so I can get them off. Now she's naked, perched on the edge of her desk in nothing but three-inch black heels.