Love, Life, and the List(43)

I turned and practically slid back down the stairs underground again. When I reached the bottom, Cooper came stumbling out of one of the side rooms. I skidded to a halt.

"This place is like a maze. It doesn't let a guy trying to save a little dignity just leave." Tears were in his eyes, and my heart couldn't handle the sight of that.

I pointed over my shoulder up the stairs. "I made it all the way to the parking lot, but you weren't there. Just your car."

"It needs to be washed."

I laughed a little. "Your car?"

"Yeah, I was thinking about that earlier today. How it needed to be washed."

"Are we really talking about your car?"

"I'm trying to hold it together here, Abby."

I nodded toward where I'd left Elliot. "I'm not. We're not."

"What?" he asked, using his palm to wipe at his eyes.

My eyes stung in sympathy. "I don't think I've ever seen you cry. Well, there was that one time you accidentally ate that really hot pepper."

He choked out a laugh. "Accidentally? You put it in my burger."

"I know. It was funny."

"For you," he said.

"I love you too. I've never stopped," I finally spit out.

"What?"

"I love you, Cooper. I never stopped."

He wiped at his eyes again. "You're not just saying that because you feel bad for me, right?"

I laughed. "You do look pretty pathetic."

He nodded to the side. "Come here, I want to show you something."

He walked ahead of me, back the way we'd come from, and reached back for my hand. I placed mine in his like I had so many times before and, like I'd thought so many times before, it felt perfect there.

"I found it while I was trying to flee," he said.

He led me to a portion of the garden I hadn't seen yet. The room was darker than the others. Small holes had been drilled into the ceiling, letting in pinpricks of light like a blanket of stars. When my gaze left the ceiling I found Cooper staring at me.

"I've always thought you were amazing," he said. Our hands were still linked and he tugged, pulling me closer to him. His eyes still shone with emotion. "And smart and funny and beautiful."

My heart jumped to my throat. After months of anticipation, now I was the one who was terrified. His free hand ran a path down my jaw. He kissed my cheek, lingering there. He smelled like Cooper-cherry ChapStick and mint gum and oranges and vanilla. His arm slowly wrapped around my waist, like he thought I might break. Then he hugged me close. His heart beat against my chest, fast and hard. "Is it weird yet?" he asked.

I smiled. "The only weird thing is that I don't know what you like. I thought about putting my fingers in your hair, but then I wondered if that would bother you."

"I feel the same. I wasn't sure if you'd like my arm here."

"I like your arm there."

"It's weird not knowing everything about each other."

"Are we stalling the actual kiss?" I asked.

He chuckled. "You've been anticipating this for months, and I'm worried it will disappoint."

"I know. What if we suck at this? Also, let me borrow your ChapStick."

He dropped his arm, laughing. "Best friends can't kiss. Even if they do love each other."

I laughed too. "Give me your ChapStick and then you're going to kiss me." I reached into the pocket of his cargo shorts where I knew he kept it and pulled it out myself. "We should make our first kiss purposely bad so that it can only get better from there," I said while applying the lip balm.                       
       
           



       

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know, pucker our lips really tight or move our heads a lot. Or slobber a lot."

He couldn't control his laughter, and it took him a while before he could say, "I missed you so much. And you are not making this easy."

"No, I'm serious. Come here." I pulled him toward me by the pockets of his shorts and puckered my lips as tight as possible, then nodded for him to do the same.

"You are the biggest goofball," he said.

When I didn't stop he sighed and said, "Fine. I guess our first kiss is going to be awful."

I had to purse my lips even harder to control my smile. I put my hands on his shoulders and stretched up on my tiptoes. He rolled his eyes and pressed his tightly puckered lips to mine. It was just as bad as I knew it would be. I smiled and pulled away.

"See, it can only get-"

He slid his hand to the back of my neck and pulled me to him. His lips were soft this time as they found mine. He kissed me once, then twice, then ran his lips along mine. "Better," he whispered, finishing my sentence.

I started to nod but we were kissing again, and I didn't have to think about where to put my hands this time, they just dug into his hair. His hands went to my hips, his thumbs applying the perfect amount of pressure there to hold me up. He deepened the kiss, his tongue finding mine. He tasted even better than he smelled, like mint and sugar. He backed me up to the closest wall and leaned into me. I couldn't get enough air, but I didn't want to stop. Cooper was pressed against me, breathing my breath and setting my skin on fire. He was warm and familiar and amazing. When it felt like I would burst, I finally pushed him away and gulped down several mouthfuls of air.

"We don't suck at that," he said.

I shook my head, still catching my breath.

"I love you so much."

I smiled and tipped my head back, looking at the starred ceiling. "I'm so happy."

"Me too."

I closed my eyes and he brushed a soft kiss to my lips again.

"Now," he said, "you have to tell me everything that's happened in the last several weeks. Starting with what you were doing in that abandoned church building."





THIRTY-EIGHT


"Do you think they'll want cheesecake before or after they kill us?" I asked as we sat in the Cheesecake Factory waiting for Justin and Rachel to arrive. They had both gotten into town in the past two days. Justin first, the night before last, and Rachel last night. Cooper and I had decided we'd tell them about our relationship in person, not over text or phone. So here we waited. I'd already told Lacey the night it had happened. She had been happy for me, but this was different. Lacey knew about my feelings. Justin and Rachel didn't.

"The real question is, should we get cheesecake now or have faith that they won't kill us?"

"Probably now."

"That's what I was thinking."

I smiled.

He squeezed my knee under the table. "Do you know one of my favorite memories of you from this summer?"

"No, what?" I asked.

"Quad riding."

"Of course you'd like the thing that terrified me."

"No, I like the thing that made you cling to me with everything you had. We should do that again."

"I can do that without the quad if you'd like."

Cooper smirked.

My phone buzzed and I pulled it out, thinking it was a text from Justin or Rachel about their arrival time, but it was an email notification. My cheeks went numb. "The winter program," I said aloud.

"What?" Cooper asked.

"It's from Wishstar."

"Did you apply?"

"I forgot to tell you. I did."

"Wow. Congratulations."

"Don't congratulate me yet. I don't know if I got in."

"I was congratulating you for applying. It's about time."

I nudged his shoulder with mine. "Funny."

"Well? Are you going to open it?"

I nodded but took my time. This was the last moment to savor not knowing. After this I'd either be happy or devastated. And I'd handle either. I clicked on the email.

"Congratulations," I read out loud. "You have been accepted to our winter course at the Wishstar Institute of Visual and Performing Art."

"That's amazing," Cooper said, kissing me. "I knew you could do it."

"Thanks."

"Am I late?" Rachel's voice had me flying out of my seat. Had she seen our kiss? She didn't act like it as she continued talking. "How come you two are both already here? And how come you haven't ordered cheesecake?" She picked up a piece of bread from the basket on the table, which we hadn't touched, and ripped off a bite. "I'm starving. I've been sleeping for eighteen hours straight. I'm never going to sleep tonight. Jet lag." She flung her arms around me in a hug. "Hi!"                       
       
           



       

"Hi!" I said with a laugh. "Welcome home."

Cooper stood and hugged her as well.

"It felt like I was gone for years, but I'm back and everything is exactly the same. It's this weird time-warp thing. Where is Justin?"

Cooper looked over Rachel's shoulder. "Right there."

Justin headed toward our table with a big smile on. "My friends," he said. We all took turns hugging him. "Next summer, we do a trip together. This was way too much time away."

"That's what I was telling Abby last month," Rachel said. "Was that last month? That we need to take on Europe together after we graduate."