Since I wasn’t planning on staying in Chicago, my mother agreed to move closer to Hudson and I. We hadn’t told her we were getting married yet, in fact we hadn’t told anyone. I wanted to get things settled before we did, that way we could celebrate it right with our family and friends.
Hudson found a care facility for my grandfather and it didn’t take much to convince my mother to move him closer to us. I think she missed him almost as much as I did. I spent a lot of time with him before he passed away a few months later. It hurt seeing him that way but I was happy to have had the time I did with him. I even managed to play for him a few times. Of course my skills were nothing like they had once been but I managed, crooked fingers and all.
My family was right about a lot of things, including the guilt I carried for killing a man. I spent some time with a counselor, working those issues out. I didn’t feel bad for killing Erik, I never did. He deserved far worse than I gave him. What I felt bad for was losing the piece of me it took to do it. I knew I’d never forget the way his eyes looked at me as his life faded away but I’d always remember what he did to me for six years. I’d remember but I wouldn’t let it ruin me. I wouldn’t let it control me. I wouldn’t let it identify me. I was stronger than that. I used my past as a way to help others like me. I became a counselor myself, working with women who were trying to escape abusive friends, boyfriends, husbands, lovers, pimps or whoever put them in a place of helplessness or low self worth.
Hudson and I married a few months later during a small ceremony, only our closest family and friends were present. Each member of his squad stood at his back since the moment he came into the fold and they would continue to do so until the day he died. But that day, they each stood and pledged a different kind of oath, one to always stand at my back too. Even Bear, who hightailed it afterwards, especially when he caught sight of Preacher’s Widow Charlotte from afar. I wasn’t sure about all of that but I’d learned to leave Bear alone. When he was ready to face his darkness, he would.
Later that evening, tucked away in our bed, I was finally able to give back to Hudson some of what he’d given to me.
“Honey,” I say softly, lacing our fingers together.
“Hmm,” he responds, his eyes closed.
“We need to move your office to King’s building,” I press a kiss against his chest. “Since you’re going to be around for awhile, I think it makes sense. We’ll need the space.”
“What are you talking about?” he asks, his eyes opening to mine. I smile slowly, bursting to tell him.
“Going to have to paint the room,” his eyes flicker as the realization slowly dawns on him. “Of course, it’s too early to know if we’ll need pink or blue.”
He moves, fast, flipping me onto my back. Shock and excited in his eyes.
“You’re pregnant?”
“Doctor confirmed it yesterday,” I reach over to my nightstand, open the drawer, and pull out the sonogram picture of our little peanut taken yesterday during my impromptu exam. I hand it to him with a giggle, watching his whole face transform. “I’m ten weeks.”
His eyes flip between me and the photo of our baby. He doesn’t know what to say, so he kisses me hard, showing me how happy he is. I wrap my arms around him and give it back.
*****
Five Years Later…
“Mama, mama,” Mason bounced into the room landing on the large bed. His older brother, Maverick, followed close behind, a smile on his face.
“Hey boys, come meet your sister,” Hudson’s gruff voice greets them, a radiant smile on his face. Mason stands and toddles over to his sister, sitting down next to her. “Careful Mas, she’s real delicate okay?”
“Sees pwitty,” Mason’s toddler sized hand gently caresses the face of his new baby sister. Her dark eyes observant of him. “Tan I howld her?”
Maverick walks over to me and sits beside me on the bed. I tuck an arm around him, kissing his dark hair.
“Hey Mav,” he snuggles into me, his eyes on his sister. I sense his trepidation. “You can go see her if you want.”
He turns to look at me, blue eyes just like his father’s and shakes his head. His was the more sensitive of my boys, always worried about others. He was an excellent big brother, patient and attentive. The reason why Mason walked before he was a year old and talks like a “big boy”.
“I’m all right buddy,” I kiss his forehead, nudging him over to the baby. “Go on.”
He stands and moves carefully toward her.
“I yub yew baby,” Mason tells his sister. “Look Mavwrick, Maddy is yoking for yew.”