I nod.
“You’ve given her the strength to overcome so much Hudson, to defeat so many demons. If it wasn’t for you, he would have won.”
“No, you’re wrong. It wasn’t me who gave her strength. She had it already, deep inside.”
“You showed her how to use it.”
“Again, wrong. She used it the night she ran and she’s been using it ever since,” my voice is gruffer than I wanted but I didn’t like anyone thinking Alice wasn’t strong in her own right, not even her mother. Jeanette turns her eyes back to the scenery, her hand still on my arm, the silence of the night all around us. After a few moments longer, she stands.
“She needs you to let her go Hudson. She needs to heal from all of this. I know you love each other and in no way am I trying to keep you two apart but Alice needs to find herself before committing to something this serious,” she pauses, takes a breath and finally continues. “You’re it for her and I know you feel the same. Just give her some time. Please. That’s all I am asking.”
She turns and walks back into the house, closing the door softly behind her.
Her words have frozen me in place. Just give her some time.
Time. It didn’t seem like a bad idea and she had a point. Alice has a lot of healing to do. She has to come to terms with everything she’s been through, especially killing the man responsible for it all. She might seem all right on the outside but I know better. Killing someone isn’t something you take lightly, no matter the reason. Alice isn’t a killer by any means but it didn’t mean she wasn’t feeling guilty for what she did. Whether giving her time was the right answer or not, I didn’t know. What I did know was she didn’t have to be alone to get through it.
Missy and Jeanette leave after cleaning up dinner and all evidence of our shared meal is gone. I walk back into the house after seeing them off, Alice is seated in my chair, a blanket tucked around her. Seeing her there, so comfortable in her element, I couldn’t help being swept away.
“Are they gone?” she asks softly. I nod, placing my hands in the pockets of my jeans. Time. I wish I could freeze it, right here in this moment, when she looks so soft. “I confess I didn’t have a headache. I needed time to think, can’t do that with everyone always here.”
“You okay?” I step towards her.
“I love you,” she whispers and I stop. She looks up at me, her eyes glistening with tears. “I know you probably don’t feel the same but…”
“Are you my woman?” I ask, cutting her off. My body is in motion, stopping directly in front of her. She stares up at me confused.
“Hudson...” she starts but I sense she isn’t going to say it, so I do it for her. I take a chance giving it all to her.
“You’re mine,” the words echo through the room and I feel a shift in my gut. I pull her up from the chair, blanket and all, cupping her face in my hands. She takes a deep breath and nods, confirming my words. I want this woman, body and soul. I’ll be damned if I let her slip through my fingers without giving it to her. She didn’t need healing, she was already healed. She didn’t need time. She had six years taken from her. What she did need, I’d be there to make sure she got it. “I’ve sat here for days trying to figure out how I’m going to let you go, trying to be supportive and not pressure you in anyway but I’m done with that. You want to go to Chicago, fine we’ll go to Chicago. Together. You want to stay here, we’ll stay here. You need help, help I can’t give you or we’ll find someone to help you. Doesn’t matter what choice you make, precious, because I’m going to be there every step of the way. I’ll always be at your side.”
“Hudson...”
“You woke something inside of me, something I thought died years ago. You make me feel alive and I’m not taking any more chances. Got to keep my heart safe. Didn’t listen to my gut the first time, not going to make that mistake again.”
“Hudson...”
“Got your mother telling me to let you go, you need time to heal...the way I see it, if you needed time, you wouldn’t be in my bed every night, itching to be touched. You’ve moved past all that shit because you got a taste of something good, a taste of how a real man treats a woman. Nothing and no one will change the way I see you, because I love you too and you’re my woman. Not going to ask you to stay. Not going to tell you to go. Just going to be there with you when you make your choice,” I finish and her soft brown eyes spill over with tears. I can see happiness shining through at me.