Lost in Silence (The Lost Series Book 1)(92)

“And grandfather, was he sick too?”

“No, but you weren’t the cause of that either,” she lets go of me and steps back. She takes my hand and pulls me to the porch swing. We sit. “We can discuss this another day, right now I just want to be here with you.”

I sit, watching her, seeing the real her for the first time in my life. She was beautiful and strong, much stronger than I ever knew before. Her words have frozen me though. I wanted to be here with her too and it scared me.

“I know I was a piece of shit mother Alice,” she says the words so easily, like she had practiced them a hundred times but they were honest. “I made a lot of mistakes in my life but you have to know you are my greatest achievement. I should have told you this long ago and I’m sorry I never did. We never stopped looking for you, Alice. Even after your father’s death. Every extra dime we had went towards our search.”

I gasp, feeling for the first time in my life loved by my parents. My disappearance obviously changed them and while there were bad times in our lives, this moment now was groundbreaking. I felt peace in my heart.

“Do you think we can try again?” my mother’s question pulls me out of my thoughts.

“Try what?”

“Being a family, the right way,” her eyes burned hopefully and I could see the desperation to make up for lost time. She really wanted this, wanted me. My heart ached a bit reminding me of the pain she put me through all those years ago. I push it aside and I think about the life lessons I’ve experienced, reminding myself of the vow I made many years ago. I wanted this chance too.

“I’m not the same girl anymore but I think you know that,” I smile and reach over to pull her into a hug. “I’d like to try again.”

She sobbed as the emotion pour over us. Yes, today was groundbreaking and I had one man in particular to thank for it. I’d also decided to forgive for his little lie because it did something good. It brought me back to my mother.

“Let’s go inside and get some coffee,” I chuckle. “I’m sure Hudson is having a bitch of a time keeping Missy inside.”

The front door opens and Missy comes out, a smile on her face, as if she was waiting for her cue. “Damn straight he is, now get your little butt in here so you can put these wannabe badasses at ease. I’m not the only one Hudson’s been trying to hold back.”

“Sweetheart, ain’t nothing wannabe about me, it’s just what I am,” King laughs standing at the door. Missy smacks his chest as she walks by.

I walked into the house laughing, my mother’s eyes huge and anxious. I reach for her hand and give it a little squeeze, assuring her there was nothing to worry about. Her gaze meets mine and she smiles back.





Chapter 36


Hudson

Missy had prepared a welcome home feast big enough to feed fifty people, and like usual there weren’t any leftovers. Between the squad and a suddenly ravenous Alice, there wasn’t a crumb. I took her appetite as a good sign.

After dinner, I noticed her fading. The nap she had taken on the plane ride home was nowhere near enough for the exhaustion I knew she was feeling. The guys noticed it too and they made their departures one by one, each hugging her tightly at the door. They knew how much this woman meant to me and this was their way of accepting her into our family. Even Bear hugged her, although it was one of the most awkward moments I’ve ever seen. Alice smiled shyly, catching his eyes for a brief moment and I knew it was because she wanted him to see the gratitude and understand she had for him.

Zero waited for the others to finish before approaching her. My body moved towards them but Alice shoots me a stern look, freezing me in my spot. She knew I was angry with him, she’d been taken on his watch but I also knew she was struggling. She carried guilt for what she did to him, convincing him to let her go home alone, for all the babysitting comments and for being the reason there was bad blood between he and I.

“Zero,” she whispers before wrapping her arms around his waist. Her head rests on his broad chest.

“Fucked up,” he grunts wrapping his arms around her. “Should’ve never let you go alone that night.”

“It’s not your fault,” she replies, pulling back to look him in the eyes. She reaches up and touches the side of his face where a large bruise had formed, the only sign of my attack. “I didn’t want you to go.”

“Doesn’t matter, it was my job to keep you safe,” he says gruffly. “Asshole would’ve never laid a hand on you if I’d done my job.”

“I know but this isn’t on you Zero, it’s on me...”