Lost in Silence (The Lost Series Book 1)(42)

The room once again fills with noise, a soft buzz compared to earlier but there was hair to be cut, color to be rinsed and toes to be painted. The confrontation with Holly wasn’t a big deal to these women, which has me wondering about her. While I was sure she in fact is the world’s biggest bitch, I felt a little sorry for her.

“Don’t feel bad for her Alice,” Missy places a hand on my shoulder, interrupting me from my thoughts. I look up at her, careful to mask my thoughts. “Holly’s done a lot of fucked up shit to a lot of people in this town, my brother being one of them.”

I nod, but it still didn’t sit well with me. Shaking my head I attempt to clear away the thoughts, I wasn’t going to be here forever so it didn’t matter what her story was. Still, she is the one Hudson was in a hurry to meet up with. What did that even mean? Were they a couple or something? Holly said he stood her up and I can’t help wondering why? He left the house last night. His truck was gone when I left for my walk. Where did he go if not to meet her? Was there another woman somewhere?

Meeting Holly only led me to stand firm in my belief that Missy is crazy to believe Hudson has feelings for me. I’m nothing like Holly. She is gorgeous, big breasted, styled and obviously worldly. I’m small, frumpy and I wore clothing three sizes too big for me. She might’ve been a bitch but there is no way I could compete with someone who looks like her.





Chapter 13


Alice

I’m wearing dress number eight, when I hear Missy gasp. I just stepped out of the dressing room and swung my head to see what has her attention. She’s looking at me, her eyes slowly moving up and down my body.

“That’s the one,” she whispers. “You look stunning. Buy it.”

I smile and turn towards the mirror, stopping short of the woman staring back at me. This is the second time today I question the person looking back. I’m almost ready to pound on the glass for the old version of me to come back. I lift my arm, waving to the new version, she waves back. The transformation is difficult for me to swallow.

“The color is perfect Alice,” Missy says but I barely hear her words, the thump of my heart is so loud, I’m surprised she can’t hear it too. “Hudson’s going to love it.”

The pressure of tonight, the new haircut, the nails and now the dress, suddenly it was too much. My heart feels overwhelmed. Today wasn’t supposed to be like this. I just wanted a simple dress, not an entire makeover. Hudson and I were friends, nothing more, all of this made it feel like it was something more. As much as I wanted it to be something else, I couldn’t be dishonest with him or myself. Missy’s eyes catch mine in the mirror and her voice calms me almost instantly.

“Stop doubting, Alice. You’re good enough and completely deserving,” she sees my hesitation and my excitement. She knows my heart. “If nothing else, allow yourself one night to experience something good. The problems will be there in the morning for you to shoulder.”

Her words echo around in my head, hammering at every emotion I’ve felt in the last twenty-four hours. I want to be good enough but I’m afraid of what they’ll think when they find out the truth about me.

“There’s more to you than you let us see and sometimes I don’t think you see those parts either,” she’s right, I don’t. It’s a defense mechanism though. I had to shut those parts of me down in order to survive for as long as I have. “I told you early on, I don’t sugar coat anything. Today wasn’t about a date Alice, it’s about you, as a person and a woman. You’re hiding and you keep yourself locked up so tight, I’m surprised you can breathe. Today was me trying to get you loosen up a bit. It was to remind you what it feels like to be human again. Having dinner with Hudson is the icing on top of it all. It doesn’t mean you have date him, it doesn’t mean you have to sleep with him. What it means is you need to let yourself enjoy it.”

If I didn’t already love Missy before this moment, there would be no doubt I love her now. Not after those words of encouragement. She doesn’t treat me like a fragile piece of glass. She knows the shit in my life was dark but it didn’t stop her and I appreciate it. Patting the seat next to her, she motions for me to sit.

“There is nothing wrong with being a private person. My brother is a good example of the wrong kind of private though. Getting him to talk about anything is worse than pulling teeth from a feral cat. With you he’s different,” she pauses and takes a deep breath. I reach for her hand, squeezing it to tell her I understood what she meant. “There’s something I want to tell you about, things from before Hudson went dark. Things I can talk about because it’s part of my story too. Has he told you anything at all about our parents?”