“Best I remember there weren’t any sheets involved.”
I lift my hand and slap him lightly against his pec. He laughs. A carefree expression takes over his face that I haven’t seen since we were younger. Long before the innocence of a child’s mind vanished and reality took hold.
“You didn’t even know who I was when you got back in town,” I whisper. I can’t help the sadness I still feel over that. I might have brushed it off with Quinn, but deep down that hurt more than I care to admit. I would have recognized him in a dark room, and the fact that he couldn’t do the same, even after all he just admitted, hurts.
I watch his eyes work. Their hold on me paired with having him this close almost make me forget what I just said. He struggles with his words, I can tell because his mouth parts a few times before closing, as though he’s working out what to say. His brow furrows, his lips thin, and he swallows thickly, all the while just looking into my eyes.
“You have to understand, Leighton, when I tell you I was in a bad place . . .” He trails off, his hold on the hand between our bodies tightening almost painfully. His eyes continue to search mine. “I was blinded by that. I had so much anger burnin’ inside me. Not just about being called back for his funeral, but also because I had been strugglin’ for a long damn time drunk, angry, and a whole lot scared. I didn’t know what was comin’ next, and for someone that always knew what he was doin’, flyin’ off the handle filled me with fear. Too many emotions fightin’ for the top spot inside me and I couldn’t see a damn thing past that. Like I said, it blinded me. I’ve got no other excuse for that, darlin’, but I can tell you now—had I been in my right mind, no damn way I would have been able to step into a room and not realize who was standin’ right in front of me.”
My lips pinch, and I have to fight myself not to fly off with a smart-ass comment. I almost win. Almost. “Yeah, well . . . I don’t exactly have the same little boy body that I did when you saw me last, so I guess it makes sense that it was easy to forget me when that was the last memory you had.”
Anger flashes bright across his face, and his nostrils flare. “I told you I’m sorry and I regret what I did to you back then. I explained to you why I hid my true feelings for you behind those harsh lies, but if you are going to keep holdin’ that between us, we’re gonna get bucked off before we can even climb in the saddle.” His tone is low but lethal.
“I’m sorry,” I hush, looking down in shame.
“Don’t be sorry, Leigh. You’re allowed to be mad still. I haven’t proven to you that I can be trusted in what I’m sayin’, but I mean it—if you can’t find a way to let it go, we don’t stand a chance.”
I nod, afraid to look back into his eyes.
“You say we don’t know each other anymore, but you’ll always be the same girl I’ve always wished was mine. Your hair is still the same color of the fields when the wheat is blowin’ in the wind. Those eyes look just like the bluebonnets that grew behind your house—so deep blue they almost look purple. I’ve never seen another person with eyes like yours. When you’re mad, you still bite your bottom lip and pull your brows in. It almost looks like you’re just thinkin’ hard, but you always used to do that when you were tryin’ to keep from sayin’ somethin’ you couldn’t take back. Your freckles still refuse to go away, even under a layer of makeup. I could keep goin’, but judgin’ by the way those eyes I love so much are waterin’, I’m thinkin’ you’re wantin’ me to shut up.” He laughs deep in his chest, the vibrations tickling against my hand.
“You forgot to mention, I grew . . . well, I grew up.”
“Yeah, darlin’, you did, but you’re still just little Leigh to me. I want you, Leigh. I want what’s inside of you that has always pulled me in and made me feel like I was the only man in the world. I want the peace that you bring about me, calming me all the way to my core with just a glance. I want your laughs, your tears, your smiles, your snores, and your moans. I want everythin’ that I didn’t dare think I deserved to hope for when I lost you because I was too focused on my own selfish pride. I want to know that everythin’ I did in the past, all those regrets, don’t mean I lose you all over again. I want you, regardless of what the outside looks like, darlin’. I promise you, I will make sure not one damn day goes by that you don’t know without a single doubt that I’m here fightin’ for you . . . fighting for us. I want you now, same as I wanted you then, because it’s our time to have what we were always meant to have. Each other.”