“This place could run itself blind, Clay. You don’t need me on the breedin’ end. Hell, neither of us would have to do a damn thing but show up when buyers do and collect the checks and this ranch would continue to thrive.”
He pulls his white hat off, scratching his messy hair before placing the hat back down, shadowing his face once again. “I hear what you’re sayin’, Mav, but what you’re askin’ means I would need to sink a ton of fuckin’ money into something that I have no interest or fuckin’ time to handle right now.”
“I’m not askin’ you to handle shit and you know it. I own just as much of this ranch as you do now. You also know I don’t need your fuckin’ money to make it happen. I wouldn’t want that money even if I did. I want this for me because it’s somethin’ I believe in, but it’s also somethin’ that’s mine without him all over it. I’m askin’ you for land you don’t need and I’m askin’ for your blessing to find my own way with somethin’ that makes me happy.”
“Fuck!” he bellows and looks up to the ceiling. “What are you fuckin’ up to, little brother?”
“Hell, Clayton . . . I’m just tryin’ to find my feet when they’ve been knocked out from under me. I’m tryin’ to find my way while I make some good memories to replace the nightmares that hide in every corner around this fuckin’ ranch. I’m just tryin’ to get back what I lost when I couldn’t see past the horror show that was our childhood.”
He pulls off his hat again, tossing it onto the desk. I watch it spin a few times before settling with a gentle rock. Seeing the sweat-stained band on the inside of his Stetson makes me think of my own that I had left behind with Leigh. I feel like I’ve lost a limb being without it, but I’m fuckin’ prayin’ that by leavin’ it behind, I’ve given her enough to find her way back to me.
“The land you’re asking for, Maverick . . . shit. If you fuck this up and hightail it back outta here again, this will make that night in the middle of the woods look like a fuckin’ paper cut compared to the damage this will do.”
It takes one hell of an effort not to blow my top at him; instead, I take a deep breath before answering. “I’ve told you every day since I got back in Pine Oak, Clay. I’m not leavin’. I’m here to stay, and God willing, I’m here to get back what I lost.”
He makes a noise deep in his throat and shuffles some papers around on the desk. “I figured when you told me you would come back, you would actually help around here.”
“There’s nothin’ good for me on this ranch except you and Quinn. I can’t be here without thinkin’ the old man is goin’ to come out and bash my head in because I’m not walkin’ straight. I’m tryin’ to prove to you I’m stickin’ around, but I can’t do that here, on this property.”
Clay looks up, his eyes more sympathetic than I’ve seen since I got back almost a month ago. “He’s gone, Mav. Can’t hurt you from the grave.”
My chest vibrates, the sound far from a laugh. “That’s where you’re wrong, brother. He’s left his mark all over this damn place. Just being here, in this house, around the barn, the training fields—it’s all him. All I do is walk two fuckin’ feet and I’m relivin’ some bullshit in my mind. I don’t want to run, but to prove I’m stickin’ around I have to do it away from the Davis ranch.”
“Is that all this is about?”
I knew he would see right through me to the bigger picture. Clay’s always been fifteen steps ahead of the rest of us. “What else would this be about?” I respond, playing stupid and avoiding the rest of the topic at hand.
“Leighton.”
I feel my brows rise slowly and I allow my lips to turn up. “What about her?” God, just hearing her name settles me. I’ve been coming out of my skin for days. Not just because of her silence. Everything I’ve told Clay is the truth; I can’t stay at the Davis ranch and stay in Pine Oak because here makes me feel like a caged animal again.
“She’s been through a lot, Maverick. I’m your brother, and because of that, you get my loyalty . . . however, I love that girl like she’s a sister, and brother or not, I will lay you the fuck out if you hurt her again.”
I lift out of the chair, but before my ass was even an inch off the old leather seat in front of my dad’s old desk, Clay holds up his hand to halt my movements.
“Sit the fuck down and listen to me. I understand why you left, Mav. I get it. I know you needed to. That being said, you were so single-mindedly focused on getting the hell out of town that you might as well of been blind as a bat. I can’t change things with Dad. I can’t change what happened with Mama. I can’t give you your career back. But I can give you this. You aren’t the only one who carries scars. You need to learn to forgive Dad, if anything to just let it go and be able to move on. You need to forget about Mama. You did what you could, but she didn’t want us then and she’s never gonna change. You also need to give Leighton everything. One thing us Davises are good at is hidin’ the pain. So you want her land—you need to talk to her about it. I might own it, but I only bought it from her so I could keep her close. She was going through so much and I couldn’t let her leave Pine Oak. We couldn’t lose her too.”