Lost Love (Cowboys and Angels #1)(32)

Steed took a few minutes to get his emotions in check as I sat there, silently crying, as I tried to let everything soak in.

“Kim never loved Chloe. The moment she was born, she pretty much had nothing to do with her. I learned pretty quick she was only after money. I tried like hell to get Chloe away. I begged Kim for a divorce. Each time I would bring it up she would make the threats about taking the baby, and say I’d never see them again. If I left the house without Chloe I would wonder if my daughter would be there when I got home.”

I shook my head as I tried to keep the bile down. How could a mother be so cruel? “Poor Chloe.”

“For years I tried to figure out how in the fuck to get away. One day Dad came up with the whole idea of cutting me out of his will. It took a while to do it. I didn’t want Kim knowing I was on to her. Dad made a fuss about me not coming back to Texas to help him full time with the ranch, we pretended to fight about it and he had fake documents sent to the house. I knew if Kim saw legal documents from Texas delivered to the house she would open them. Dad had it arranged to have them sent while I was at a meeting at the office. The next day she walked into my office at home with a lawyer, took out the legal documents and signed her parental rights away. Her exact words were, “I wasted seven years of my life on you. No more.”

I gasped.

“She didn’t even say goodbye to Chloe. She just left.”

Steed’s hands ran down his face while he let out a gruff laugh. “It’s so fucking confusing. I wish like hell I never walked away from you, but then I wouldn’t have Chloe.” Closing his eyes, he sucked in a breath as he attempted to hold his emotions in.

He failed.

When he looked at me, his eyes spilled over with tears. “I have Chloe, but I don’t have you. I have this amazing little girl who I love, but I don’t have the dream we both wanted. And the fucking vicious cycle of guilt keeps spinning around, and now here I am, and all I want to do is hold you in my arms and tell you how much I love you, Paxton. I’ve never stopped loving you. But I destroyed our dream and I don’t blame you if you hated me for that.”

My entire body started to shake. Everything spun. I slowly stood and walked over to him. I couldn’t help but notice how Steed held his breath as I stopped in front of him.

I wanted more than anything for him to take me in his arms and hold me. Tell me everything was okay because he was back.

But he didn’t. He didn’t move as his gaze locked on mine.

I took in a shaky breath, barely getting the words out. “I did date Joe for a while, but we were far from being engaged.”

Knowing what I was about to say was going to cause Steed further hurt, I should have stopped. But I didn’t, because everything needed to be out in the open for both of us to move on. I just wasn’t sure if we would be moving on together…or apart.

“I never even slept with him.”

There was no doubt I could see the sick feeling move across Steed’s face. “W-what?”

“We dated off and on, it was never anything serious. I have no idea why his mother would say that to Melanie. I never even visited his parents while we dated.”

It was in that moment that everything came full circle. Every stupid thing we said to each other in anger. Every mistake we each made. Every single regret, out in the open.

Steed covered his face with his hands and cried out as he slid down to the floor. He repeated the same three words while his body shook violently. “I’m so sorry.”

My heart dropped to my stomach as I fell to the floor next to him. I’d never seen Steed cry like this. He pulled me into his arms and buried his face into me, his body shaking as he let all his emotions out.

“Paxton, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Oh God. I’m so sorry.”

Closing my eyes, I held onto Steed as he wrapped me tighter in his embrace.

I had been wrong all those years. The storm cloud hadn’t only been over me. It had been over Steed as well.





Steed and I had been sitting on my kitchen floor for the last thirty minutes, neither of us saying a word. I cried until I no longer had tears left, and I was pretty sure the same was true for him.

Leaning against the cabinets, I turned to look at him. His head was resting against the cabinet as he stared straight ahead. My chest tightened at the sight of this man sitting next to me. I still loved him.

Probably more after what happened here than ever, but I was still hurting and I had no idea when I would be able to open my heart again.

Steed finally spoke. “There was this quote I read one time that always stuck with me.”

“What was it?” I asked.

“Fear is temporary, regret is forever.”