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Lost Love (Cowboys and Angels #1)(21)

By:Kelly Elliott


He laughed, then turned to me. His smile dropped. “Shit. Sorry, Steed. I kind of forgot you were here.”

My eyes widened in shock. “I’m sitting right next to you, asshole. How could you forget I’m here?”

With a shrug, he took a drink of his beer. “I think I’ll take a walk around the place. See if there’s a girl here I haven’t hooked up with yet.”

Shaking my head, I asked, “Are all of y’all man whores?”

Mitchell shot me a smirk as he took off toward a table of young women. Each of them had their jaws on the floor, hopeful looks in their eyes.

“I’m out of here,” Tripp said standing. “I’ve got a meeting tomorrow morning I can’t miss.”

“Later,” Cord said as they shook hands. Tripp reached for my hand, and I shook it. Then he leaned down and whispered, “Go cut in, you idiot.”

I gave him a weak grin before focusing in on Trevor and Paxton. She threw her head back and laughed at something Trevor said.

Tripp started to leave before he stopped and turned back. “If you don’t, Mitchell will. He’s making his way over there in case you haven’t noticed.”

Jumping up, I made my way toward the dance floor. Trevor saw me coming and spun Paxton around so that she came to a stop in front of me.

I smiled and her grin evaporated.

“It’s about damn time,” Trevor said with a slap on my back.

Paxton chewed on her lip as I stared at her. “Dance with me?” I asked. Her eyes fell to the floor. “Please, Pax?”

Her gaze snapped back up, and she stepped closer. I took her into my arms. My entire body felt as if it had come alive after years of feeling dead. Damn, it felt amazing to hold her again. I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath as I pulled her a little closer. When she didn’t say anything, I led us farther onto the dance floor.

Her head was against my chest, and I couldn’t help but remember how good we fit together. In everything we did, not just dancing. “I’ve missed you, Paxton.”

She didn’t say anything, but I felt her body tremble.

“Please don’t hate me. I can’t stand the thought of you hating me.”

Pulling her head back, she stared at me with those big blue eyes. “And why shouldn’t I hate you, Steed? You left me to deal with everything. All alone with absolutely no one to talk to. You never even called to ask if I was okay.”

A stab of pain hit my chest, and my voice caught in my throat. Her eyes swam with tears, but I knew she was fighting to hold them back. “If I could go back to that first day when you told me, Paxton, I would do everything different. But I can’t, and all I know to do is tell you why I left and stayed away.”

Our eyes were locked as we moved slowly on the dance floor even though there was a fast song playing.

“The way you looked at me that day…when you told me you hated me. I knew you meant it. I hated me too because I knew I was the reason you lost the baby.”

Her eyes widened and her mouth parted, but she didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to deny it. I knew she blamed me, like I blamed myself.

“I was gutted when you started crying. I’d never seen you so upset, and I knew I was the reason for it. I caused your pain and it about destroyed me. I made a promise to you the first time I told you I loved you that I would never hurt you. I broke that promise and I honestly couldn’t bear to look you in the face. I have no idea why I picked Oregon. It was far away. No reminders of us. I was going to come back after summer and go to A and M, but the thought of staring into your beautiful eyes and seeing your pain was too much. When I walked on and tried out for the football team and they took me, I was honestly stunned. I took it as a sign that maybe you were better off without me.”

She let a small sob slip from her lips as she shook her head. “How could you think that?” she asked in a whisper. “I loved you, Steed.”

“I was stupid. So fucking stupid and damn it all to hell, Pax.” My forehead dropped to hers. “I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to leave you. I swear to God. Please believe me.”

Paxton grabbed at my T-shirt and dropped her head to my chest to hide her tears.

The song changed, and I couldn’t believe what started playing. Chris Bandi’s ‘Man Enough Now’ came across the speakers and my body trembled.

Paxton tugged on my shirt harder as she cried. I pulled her closer. I’d give anything to take her away from this bar and be alone with her. There were so many things I wanted to tell her. So many things I wanted to do to her beautiful body.

The song ended and the DJ announced a quick break. Paxton and I stood in the middle of the dance floor as everyone walked around us, heading back to their tables.