Which wasn’t too surprising. I was their sinner daughter after all. I got knocked up by a man I wasn’t married to, and that meant I was basically going to burn in hell for all of eternity.
“I’m glad you called,” I said. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”
“I’m sure,” she said. “But I’d like to say something first.”
“Oh. Okay.”
She took a deep breath. “I think that you should give this baby up for adoption.”
That surprised me. “What?”
“Listen to me, Avery. You’re not fit to be a mother, and you’re not married. You’re just too young to take care of this child. Your father and I were talking, and we both think it would best if you came home, had the child, put it up for adoption, and then finished your schooling.”
I couldn’t believe her. Well, I could believe her, but I couldn’t believe she was being serious.
There was no way I was putting my baby up for adoption, just absolutely no way. I didn’t judge any other woman who made that choice, because it was a hard choice no matter what, but I could take care of my baby, and I wanted to.
Which was actually a strange thought to have. Ever since it first happened, I’d been wondering what the hell I was going to do. The idea of adoption had crossed my mind once or twice, but never seriously. I had always assumed I was taking care of my baby no matter what.
“I can’t do that,” I said.
“You can. It might be difficult for you, but it will be for the best.”
“No,” I said simply. “I won’t.”
“Avery, you can’t take care of this child on your own, and clearly the father isn’t in the picture. Come home, let us take care of you, and then you can go back to your life.”
“No,” I said again. “This is my baby. Maybe he wasn’t planned, but I’m not giving him up.”
“Be reasonable, Avery. How can you give this child the life it deserves? Let someone else take care of it for you.”
“Mother, that’s not happening.”
I could tell she was getting angry again. “Avery, you’ve already sinned so seriously that I worry for your immortal soul, but at least you can salvage whatever is left of your life.”
“I don’t want to salvage anything,” I said. “This is my baby, and I’m not going to give him up. This isn’t happening, Mother.”
“Then we’re cutting you off.”
I stopped in my tracks. “What?”
“We’re cutting you off if you don’t come home. I’m doing this for your own good, Avery.”
“No,” I said, anger bubbling up to the surface. “You’re doing this to avoid the embarrassment of having a daughter who had a baby out of wedlock or whatever. You’re doing this for yourself, not for me.”
“I’m trying to help you. This is more than my mother would have done.”
“I don’t want your help. Go ahead and cut me off. I’ll figure it out. I don’t want your tuition money.”
“Be reasonable, Avery.”
“I am. You’re the one threatening me.”
“Come home. Give up the child. We can still help you.”
“No. Goodbye, Mother. Cut me off if you need to.”
I hung up the phone and stood there, breathing deeply and fast.
I couldn’t believe my own mother was willing to threaten me like that. She clearly was fine with making my life harder if that served her own agenda.
I had it hard enough as it was. I wasn’t going to let my mother control me or take my child away. If they stopped paying my tuition bills, then I’d figure it out. But I couldn’t have such a toxic person in my life right now.
She didn’t really care about what was best for me. She worried about my immortal soul, maybe, but she was mostly just worried that I’d embarrass her. She cared more about what the other ladies at her church thought than she did about what I wanted.
As I stood there, staring out across the road, I realized something important.
Gibson wasn’t forcing anything on me. The only person aside from Harper who was actively trying to support me was him. He wasn’t trying to get me to give the baby up for adoption or even something worse. I’d bet that so many guys in his position would have done something similar, especially to try to cover their own asses.
But not Gibson. He never questioned me, never pushed me to do something differently. Gibson worked hard as hell to support me, and he even went out of his way to help with my school project.
He didn’t owe me any of that. But talking to my mother, with the way she was pushing something on me, made me realize just how special Gibson’s support really was.