“She caught me off guard...”
“Off guard. Clay, you’re wearing that excuse out. I don’t know why you insist on using it. You need to come up with something new.”
“What I can say? I don’t know what you expect from me anymore. You keep catching me off guard, too. I had no idea you were going to tell me you were pregnant. You kept me in the dark for weeks. How did you feel when you first suspected it? Were you shocked? Were you initially frightened? Were you concerned about what would happen next? What was your reaction when your mother first called about your father’s heart condition? You can’t have prepared for such a thing. I definitely wasn’t prepared for any of this. Yet you think the worst of me. It isn’t fair. And you expect me to behave a certain way without giving me the chance to figure out what’s going on with you.”
“I don’t expect anything from you, Clay. I’ve already told you that. But you could have waited until I left before you started dating again. Especially in consideration of the fact I’m carrying your child. I really don’t think that is too much to ask.”
Even if nothing had happened with that blonde, Clay was not the type to settle down. She needed to return to Indiana—her parents needed her at home—and she would have the baby there.
When he started to object again, she interrupted him. “I’ll let you know when the baby is born. It should be sometime in January. And don’t worry, you can have all the visitation you want.” Her voice broke on the last words, as she struggled not to show weakness.
She had to leave. She had to get into the truck and head to the airport. She had to get as far away from Clay Everett as she possibly could. She was barely holding it together. Her anger gave her what strength she had. At the very least she had thought Clay was her friend. But friends wouldn’t do what he’d done and come forward with a basket full of excuses instead of apologies. But then again, how sincere would his apologies have been?
This had gone so wrong. All of it. Everything. Clay’s bull-riding accident had been the beginning. It set into motion things that should have never happened. He should never have taken up permanent residence at his ranch. His office should have never moved there. Everest wouldn’t exist and the easy-going cowboy would never have shucked his jeans, cowboy hat and boots for a suit and tie. And she never would have moved to Royal, Texas.
The what-ifs spun around in her head like a whirlwind on the dry desert floor. What if she’d never let herself be seduced by Clay? What if she’d just left when she found out she was pregnant and moved back home without a word? What if she were a different type of person whose strength and resilience to say no would have superseded a yes when he made his intentions known at the masked ball in May? What if she didn’t love him? Would it make this easier?
“Sophie, don’t do this. Don’t leave.”
There was nothing else to say. She pulled her door closed, put the key in the ignition and started the engine. As she drove away, all she could see through blurry eyes was Clay in the rearview mirror.
Thirteen
Clay watched as Sophie drove down the street, around a corner and out of sight. He couldn’t believe she was gone. How had he screwed this up so badly?
Returning to the ranch, he couldn’t help but notice that Sophie’s car was still there, which struck him as odd. In the house he automatically turned toward the office. Her space was cleared and neat as a pin. Gone were her weekly People magazines and the romance books she always kept on the credenza behind her desk. In fact, all that remained of her presence was the screen saver on the two computer monitors: a running horse, its mane and tail blowing in the wind. In the background were the magnificent Guadalupe Mountains.
Sophie loved this part of the world. She loved the haunting beauty of the desert as much as the towering mountain peaks with the thick groves of pine. She took great joy in the animals, from the tortoise to the antelope, although she didn’t suffer any love lost for the mountain lion. He smiled at the memory of their shared night in the cabin near the branding site.
And she seemed to really like working with him. Especially in the years since the accident, she had not just been his assistant, she’d been his friend and his supporter. She was smart and knew her job and his, as well; she was independent enough that if pushed, she could do both. She was going to be missed in the office and out. Especially out.
She was the most amazingly beautiful woman he’d ever met yet unlike most, she didn’t wear a ton of makeup or tight-fitting clothes to show off her figure and impress him. She left it to her smile and her dancing blue eyes and hands so soft it was like being touched by a warm silk mitten. And when she succumbed to his touch and his kisses, she went from a kitten to a cougar in the blink of an eye. She never played coy, never minced her words, sometimes to her detriment, especially in the office if his mood was bad enough. But 99 percent of the time, she was right and thankfully, he’d had enough good sense to realize that before he said or did something he would later regret. Until now.
Probably before the accident, definitely after, he was flawed as hell. He knew he was a hardheaded, arrogant son of a bitch and Iron Heart had provided scars and a permanent limp to go along with his flawed insides. Yet Sophie made him feel so alive, as though he could accomplish anything. Granted, he was a risk taker by nature, but she smoothed out the bumps and made him think twice before jumping into the fire. Consequently, he’d accomplished a lot more than he probably could have without her.
Sophie Prescott was going to be missed in every way from A to Z. And he was going to regret his part in her leaving for a very long time. He’d made a lot of mistakes in his life and he would probably make many more. But the worst of them were with Sophie.
If there was one single thing about this fiasco that was in the remotest sense positive, it was that he’d realized he was totally and completely in love with Sophie Prescott. He would not—could not—live his life without her in it.
He was the kind of man who went after what he wanted and that was not going to change. Not chasing after Sophie was one mistake he would not make. And if he could convince her to come back, it wouldn’t be enough just to have her in his bed anymore. He wanted more; he needed more. He wanted to make a life with her and their baby. He just hoped she would be willing to listen to him. He would make her listen. He intended to convince Sophie to come back with him and dammit, he would not take no for an answer.
The flight to Indiana was long. Sophie had a lot of time to reflect on what had gone down. Clay was probably telling her the truth about Carla but that was only one incident with one woman and there were hundreds who would happily take her place. On his lap, in his arms and in his bed. The dark, brooding, impossibly handsome man who now carried the scars of battles won and lost in the arena was a temptation to women everywhere. The full lips, with dimples on both sides and those deep grooves that showed off that slow smile, would have most women feeling the heat from the beginning. If Sophie closed her eyes, she could see the passion lighting his emerald-green gaze, could hear his voice as he made demands and whispered encouragement that sent them both to the moon. His big hands, callused and strong, could bring out all kinds of intimate feelings. Dressed in a dark suit and tie, with his demeanor and no-nonsense attitude, he took command over a boardroom. Clay Everett was the most amazing man she’d ever met or would ever meet. She felt a slight blush run up her neck and over her face for ever thinking she would be the one he wanted. What a foolish idea. But at least she had one thing no other woman had: Clay’s baby growing inside of her. An unknown and unintended gift she would cherish the rest of her life.
Although her mother had sounded shocked that Sophie had left her employment with Clay permanently, she was nonetheless delighted to know Sophie was on her way home. Her father had made it through the surgery without any complications and was doing great; at this rate, he’d be able to return home in a week. Her older sister was there with him while their mom picked Sophie up at the international airport in nearby Indianapolis. The thought of seeing her family again after so many years was exciting but still couldn’t override the sadness of leaving Clay.
When and how had her time at Everest become so entangled and perplexing? Probably about the time she fell in love with its owner and CEO. She’d fought the feeling when it hit, tried to ignore it when it refused to go away and finally gave in to the sheer pleasure of being in love. Whether he’d ever felt anything for her or merely saw her as a new conquest, she couldn’t honestly say. She only knew Clay had always made her feel special. Whether that was his standard mode of operation with most women, she didn’t know. But it was enough to propel her into his arms all the while trying to deny that it was exactly where she wanted to be. Forever.
She should have seen the mistake coming. She should’ve known a life in love with Clay Everett was not a lasting thing. He wasn’t a man who would ever settle down with one woman and want a family and children. It was only since his accident that he’d spent more than a month in the same place. It was a life much too tame for him to be content. His mind-set was more in tune with taking on a wild Brahma bull.