“Yeah, I am. He needs to go down.”
She reached her palm up and I gave her a high five. “Awesome. You fuckin’ rock, Sim.”
~*~*~*~
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 10:38 p.m.
Me: Hey, so there’s a Kappa Sig party Friday. Wanna go?
I was lying in bed having commenced Campaign Conquer the Cocksucker, or Triple C (Marcy’s chosen title of our operation) and waiting for an answer.
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:02 p.m.
Assface (Marcy had decided this was a more appropriate name for him in my phone): Hey! Sounds good. I didn’t get your name today…
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:04 p.m.
Me: Celeste
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:05 p.m.
Assface: I like it. It’s very pretty… like you
What a flirt. I hated that I couldn’t take anything he said to heart though because all he’d been since we’d “met” today was very sweet and I really wished I could believe him.
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:05 p.m.
Me: Thank you.
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:05 p.m.
Assface: So does this mean I’ll get to see you in a bikini?
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:05 p.m.
Me: Well, it is a pool party… does this mean I get to see YOU in a bikini?
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:06 p.m.
Assface: First of all, can’t wait to see your gorgeous body in it. Second, how about a mankini? I’ve got a bright yellow one. Would that work?
I snorted out a laugh at that visual.
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:06 p.m.
Me: Absolutely. Can’t wait to see your gorgeous body in it
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:06 p.m.
Assface: You like my body, huh?
Well, crap. He had some serious flirting skills. I was still stuck in Flirting 101 and knew I needed to be careful here.
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:07 p.m.
Me: It’ll do
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:07 p.m.
Assface: It’ll do…
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:07 p.m.
Me: Yeah, it’ll do
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:07 p.m.
Assface: Baby, I’ll show you what it can do one of these days
Yikes! Be super cold, Simone.
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:08 p.m.
Me: Think so, huh?
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:08 p.m.
Assface: Know so
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:08 p.m.
Me: Well, you’re not arrogant at all
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:08 p.m.
Assface: Hm. Arrogant? I like to think of myself as having seemly swagger or maybe even inspired insolence
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:09 p.m.
Me: Someone knows their alliteration
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:09 p.m.
Assface: I’m anything if not well educated. So… back to this bikini of yours…
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:09 p.m.
Me: What about it?
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:09 p.m.
Assface: Color?
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:09 p.m.
Me: Why do you need to know the color?
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:10 p.m.
Assface: So I know what color cummerbund to wear to match
I snorted out another laugh. Dang it. I was trying so hard to be indifferent, which I knew was coming off as just plain rude, but this was tricky!
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:10 p.m.
Me: If you must know, it’s royal blue
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:10 p.m.
Assface: Hot. I’ll bet you look amazing in it
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:10 p.m.
Me: Look, I know you’re just trying to be nice, so you can save the flattery
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:11 p.m.
Assface: Truth isn’t flattery, darlin’
“Shit!” I muttered then realized I’d cursed. “Damn it!”
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:11 p.m.
Me: And you’re quite charming too, aren’t you?
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:11 p.m.
Assface: I try to be. Is it working?
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:12 p.m.
Me: How many girls have you charmed out of their bikini bottoms, Loch?
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:12 p.m.
Assface: There’s only one I can think of right now I’d like to do it to
All right. This had to end now because he was getting to me!
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:12 p.m.
Me: I have an early class, so I need to go
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:12 p.m.
Assface: Okay. If I don’t get to talk to you in class Friday, I’ll pick you up at 8?
No! That was when Marcy said Adam was picking her up.
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:12 p.m.
Me: How about 8:30?
Text Message—Weds, Aug. 13, 11:12 p.m.
Assface: Can do. Sweet dreams, beautiful…
How nice was he? Well, this was going to be fun seeing if I could withstand his flirting. Just what had I gotten myself into?