Living in Shadow(9)

Lucien’s expression didn’t change, but the dark glitter in his eyes became a little more intense. “So I guess there’s no point asking if you feel the same?”

“No.” The word was as firm and as flat as she could make it. “None.”

“Like I said,” he murmured, “you’re a terrible liar, Professor.” He began to turn back toward the doors. “But hey, I guess we can’t all be honest about our feelings.”

Eleanor opened her mouth to tell him that she was being honest, but he held up a hand and for some reason the words died in her throat like he’d commanded them to. “When you’re ready to admit you want me too, let me know. I’ll be around.”

Then he turned and strode through the doors.

“Fuck,” Eleanor muttered to the empty room.

She didn’t want him. She didn’t want to do anything with him. All the places this kind of thing led to were bad ones and she didn’t want to go there. Not again.

For the past few years her life had been an intellectual one and she’d been happy with that. Hadn’t wanted more. She knew the consequences of desire, of passion, an experience she never wanted to repeat. But Lucien’s presence had made her aware of the parts of herself she’d been ignoring for too long.

Perhaps that had nothing to do with him, though. He was an attractive man. He’d make any woman aware of certain parts of themselves they’d been neglecting. It didn’t mean anything.

Anyway, she had a vibrator and an imagination. She didn’t need an actual cock attached to an actual man. Been there, done that. Had the bruises from her ex-husband to show for it.

Piers, who’d seduced then manipulated and abused her. The man who’d started out as her professor…

Eleanor forced the memories out of her head. No, that had been years ago and she was so much stronger now. Armored. So she wouldn’t be letting good looks and sexual attraction blind her. Not these days. And most especially not with Lucien North.





Chapter Three

“You know what I think?” Kahu said, leaning his hip against the bar.

Eleanor had a suspicion she knew already. She’d had fifteen years of hearing Kahu Winter’s thoughts on various subjects and she was pretty familiar with his opinions. “Don’t tell me. I know already.”

Kahu didn’t even pause. “I think you should fuck him. I mean, he’s young. He’s hot. He wants you. Why the hell not?”

The Ivy Room of the Auckland Club, the old gentlemen’s club that Kahu had bought a couple of years ago and now ran himself, was full of lunchtime drinkers. Members only, of course. Membership was highly sought after in various circles of Auckland society—mostly the rich tosser circles, as Kahu liked to call them—and ridiculously hard to come by. No one quite knew what made Kahu grant one person a membership card and not another.

It wasn’t money and it wasn’t class. Or power. Or fame. No one knew but Kahu himself. And Eleanor, who’d gotten the truth out of him after too many scotches one night. Apparently he just liked to screw with people. Which, if you knew Kahu, was typical.

“I can think of several reasons why not,” she said, turning the coaster her glass of rosé sat on. “He’s one of my students, for one. And surely you haven’t forgotten what happened with Piers.”

Kahu shook his head. Tall, tattooed, part Maori and muscled like a gladiator, he was nothing if not eye catching. “How could I forget? But this situation is entirely different from you and Piers. You’re not into mindfuckery, for a start.”

She’d casually mentioned Lucien and his interest in her, and Kahu had instantly leapt to his usual conclusion: sex.

“He’s still younger than me. And I’m still his professor.”

“How old are we talking here?”

“Twenty-five.”

Kahu raised a brow. “So, older than the average student then.”

“Yes, but—”

“That’s hardly a baby, Ell.”

“Kahu—”

“Like half the faculty isn’t either screwing their students or each other. Just do it. Screw the rules too.”

Again, typical Kahu. He’d never met a rule he didn’t like to break. But this was about more than merely rule breaking. “I can’t. Look, even if I was tempted, and let’s be clear here, I’m not, sleeping with a much younger student isn’t exactly the best way to ensure a long lasting academic career. And despite all of that, how would that make me any better than Piers?”

“Well, Lucien’s not a naïve twenty-year-old woman and you’re not a manipulative forty-year-old shithead. Also, he propositioned you, not the other way around.”