Little Black Book(60)

I wasn’t the same girl I was when we first met and so I didn’t pull back. Instead, I kissed him just as hard, tugging at the back of his head and digging my nails into his shoulder to hold him closer.

We were still kissing like a couple of teenagers when the elevator opened to my place. He didn’t let me go; instead he lifted me and slammed me against the wall opposite of the open elevator.

I’d expected that once we got to my floor, he would say goodbye and leave for the night, like usual. What I didn’t expect was for him to stay with me and spend the night, giving me the best he’d promised from the beginning.





I woke in the middle of the night to Sebastian whining in his sleep as if he was in pain. The sheet clung to his wet, naked skin and his expression was full of agony.

He tossed and turned, trying to get away from something and I knew he was having a nightmare.

“Sebastian,” I shook him.

Still he breathed hard and pulled at the sheet.

“Sebastian, wake up. You’re having a nightmare,” I said, shoving at his side and trying my hardest to wake him.

A howl exploded from his lips and he cried loudly with closed eyes. I didn’t know what to do. This was Sebastian—cold, fearless Sebastian, and yet he was squirming around in my bed and practically bawling.

Laying my palm against his sweaty cheek, I tried once more to wake him.

“Sebastian, you have to wake up.”

His eyes flew open and things moved quickly has he pushed me off of him and climbed on top of me.

“Murderer!” his voice cracked.

Thick fingers wrapped around my neck and squeezed.

I beat at his arms as my throat closed up and my ability to breathe was cut off.

“Sebastian,” I croaked.

The sounds of my choking filled the room and my life flashed before my eyes. And then, as quickly as it started, his hold loosened and his angry expression cleared. He’d woken up and realized what he was doing.

Jumping away from me, his back slammed into the wall next to my bed. I sat up, coughing and trying to catch the breath that still didn’t want to fill my lungs. When the black dots cleared my vision, I was able to reach out and turn on the lamp next to my bed. I could see Sebastian pressed tightly against the wall, staring at me—a look of absolute fear traced his dark features.

“I’m so… I can’t believe,” he whispered, his voice rough with sleep. “I don’t know what… I… Are you okay?” he asked.

I wrapped my fingers around my aching throat and nodded my answer. I wasn’t technically okay, but I could see by the devastated look on his face that he needed to know I was.

He crawled beside me and moved my hands from my neck to inspect it. I could feel the bruising and the ridges and welts from his fingers. By the look on his face, he could see them, too.

With a soft touch, he ran his fingers over my neck and shook his head with sadness in his eyes.

“I’ve never hurt a woman before. I know I’m rough in bed, but you have to believe I’d never…”

I stopped him. “I know. I believe you.” I took his hand in mine and held it close to my chest. “What was your nightmare about?” I asked.

Looking down, his agonizing expression cleared and the old Sebastian slipped into his place. “It’s nothing. I really am sorry I did that to you.”

Apologizing had to sting, and I appreciated him for it. Sebastian never apologized, and for him to do so, meant he was really and honestly sorry.

“Lay back down and get some sleep. I’ll stay until you do, but I have to get to the club and help close things up.”

I didn’t push. I’d dig deeper into all things Sebastian the next chance I got, but until then, I’d lay beside him and enjoy the moment of sweetness he was offering. His arms closed around me, pulling me into his chest and making me feel safe again, and then he rested his chin on my head. Within a matter of minutes, I fell back to sleep.





The next morning, even though he’d said he was leaving, I woke with Sebastian watching me. With his head resting on his hand, he was drawing little patterns on my shoulder with the tip of his finger.

“I don’t apologize often, but let me say it again. I’m sorry, Jessica. So sorry.”

I nodded. I barely even noticed the name Jessica anymore. I was used to it, which wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

“I forgive you.”

And I did. I’d known Sebastian for a while and never once did I get the impression that he was someone who beat women. What was becoming obvious was he had some deep set problems—deeper than I’d initially thought.

Leaning up and hovering over me, he looked down at me with a soft expression.