"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't start, Jo." Biceps bulging, he shoved away from the table and turned his wheelchair with angry, jerky motions.
"I told him I don't need home security," she said to his retreating back.
"You're lying to yourself if you believe that," he shot over his shoulder before disappearing.
Shortly after, loud, aggressive music throbbed through the house, letting her know Rhys was taking his frustration and helplessness out on his weights.
She had time to kill until she met up with Alexa and her girlfriends. Dinner clean up occupied about twenty minutes and then she found herself at loose ends again. Somehow, sisterly guilt opened a thin crack in the wall she'd erected to keep Jude from her thoughts, and she found herself alone in her bedroom, staring into the shadowy space at the back of her closet.
Even though she'd banned herself from situations that would enable her to lose herself, she hadn't been able to shake her weakness for the costumes. Sheer, lacy bits of nothing hid in the dark alongside barely decent scraps of leather. Nothing she would ever wear in public, and certainly not for an evening with platonic company at a bar.
Still, she found herself reaching in. As her fingertips brushed buttery silk, she inhaled sharply and yanked her hand back.
"Stop it," she whispered, and grabbed a pencil skirt from a hanger.
As she went through the rituals of dressing to go out, her body buzzed with need. A pedicure was nice for stress relief but nothing, nothing, compared to the rush of physical surrender. She was an addict. Her reaction to Jude had proven that not even months of abstinence could fully burn out the craving.
But she couldn't get a fix from the compelling lion shifter. Under no circumstances was he an option. He roused her curiosity and she sensed that if she let him, he would stir up things inside her that ran deeper than physical pleasure. If she let herself wade back into the deep end-if-she wouldn't submerge anything but her body, and that meant Jude was out.
He probably wasn't interested in what she wanted, anyway. A man could be the alpha type without getting off on the dirty stuff.
As though she'd conjured him, Jude's name appeared on her phone an instant before it buzzed with the incoming call. Her first instinct was to refuse the call and send it to voice mail but the break-in had changed things.
Blowing out a breath, she composed herself into business relationship mode and put the phone to her ear. "Jude. I'm glad you called. I wanted to thank you for the referral. Your friend did a great job on the front door. I appreciate you arranging it."
"I told you not to thank me. I've been looking over the camera footage again. I don't like the way the whole thing played out. I still want to look at your house. I have enough equipment on hand that I could set something up within a few hours."
Lily rubbed the bridge of her nose. Yes, she wanted a barrier between Paul and Rhys-though she wasn't sure which man needed the protection more. Rhys was formidable even without full use of his legs. But a security system would crush the last of her brother's pride and she couldn't damage him more than she already had.
"I can't afford it," she finally decided. "My budget is tapped."
"You put everything you have into your shop, didn't you?"
She shrugged uncomfortably and walked over to gaze out the window at the quiet street. After living in the heart of Seattle for most of her adult life, she'd desperately needed a change. The cozy, suburban residential neighborhood she'd lucked into due to a short sale was perfect for the new life she wanted. It had also eaten up a significant amount of the cash that had remained after securing a year of store space and stocking the shelves with inventory.
"Lily?"
Her financial situation wasn't any of Jude's business, but she found herself responding anyway.
"I wasn't ever a gambler, but I came into a little money after a car accident with a drunk driver." As soon as the money had hit her bank account, she'd dumped her belongings and taken off. There wasn't anything she wanted to keep from her years with Paul. He hadn't put her name on anything as a joint owner, anyway. Everything he'd given her while they were together … well, he hadn't really given it to her. He'd given it to a submissive, and she'd walked away from that role.
"I didn't realize you'd been in an accident."
Because unlike Rhys, she hadn't acquired permanent scars. She turned away from the window. "I didn't tell you. Anyway, I wanted to do something with the money that would mean something to me. Starting a business isn't cheap, especially if you don't take out any loans."