“You don’t want to ride her, you can walk her out through the snow a little ways.” Rowan opens the door to Calliope’s climate-controlled stall and leads her out through the door. Calliope nuzzles against Rowans shirt like Symphony did, and Rowan hands her two carrots that she inhales with her velvety-looking mouth.
“I’ll ride her,” I blurt. I don’t even realize what I’m saying, but it comes from somewhere inside of me that makes me want to please him, like he’s the high school quarter back and I want him to take me to prom. My hands start shaking as soon as he turns and nods at me, and my body follows. Whether it’s the cold or the giant animal standing in front of me as I limply hold the reins connected to its neck, or the man with the blue eyes looking at me with a half grin, I can’t know for sure.
“Oh you will? Let me get this girl set up, and we’ll get you on board.”
“You talk like I’m going to be sailing a ship.” My voice comes out too chirpy, and I step back in nervousness, accidentally tugging on Symphony’s rein. She steps toward me and I let out a yelp.
“Well with that type of reaction, it seems like you might be better off on a ship, baby doll.” Rowan chuckles and brushes Calliope down quickly, putting on her saddle and tack while I grip Symphony’s reins so hard I can feel my knuckles freezing beneath the gloves I’m wearing.
“Maybe… maybe I shouldn’t do this.” I gulp and look up at the creature I’m holding. “Holy fuck. Maybe I shouldn’t—” Before I can say another word, Rowan walks over to me and puts his hands around my waist. I’m still gripping the reins hard, and I’m starting to shake again.
“I don’t have stool out here right now, so I’ll lift you up and you put your foot in the stirrup.”
“No, no no—I can’t!”
“Then you hoist that left leg on over the saddle and hold onto the reins tight.”
“I got that, Rowan. That’s the only part I got—but—” Rowan lifts me so that my right foot is perfectly positioned over the stirrup so that I have no other choice but to slide it in. I’m still quivering when he pushes me gently against the horse’s side and, acting on instinct, I swing my leg over and secure it into the other stirrup.
*Goddammit, godammit. What the fresh hell am I doing up on a horse? There’s no way on earth.
“Times wasting, Symphony.” Rowan slaps the horse fondly on the rump, and it feels like there’s a vibration that rolls through her body. She whinnies and then starts walking, and suddenly I’m aware that there’s a living, breathing being that I’m riding on. I tug on the reins helplessly, already feeling like I’m going to fall. I clutch my feet into the stirrups and lace my fingers into the horse’s fur. Symphony lurches forward into the cold air, and I yelp as I almost fall over to the side.
“Oh God! Oh God! I’m going to fall! What the hell is she doing?” I hear the clop of hooves behind me, and I look back to see Rowan riding the other horse. He’s grinning from ear to ear, and Symphony just keeps on walking, the great beast that she is. “Rowan!” I shout. “What in the hell are you doing to me?”
“You’re the one that said she could handle riding a horse! Looks like you got your wish!”
I nearly topple off the horse as she picks up speed and walks into the cold New Mexico air. The snowflakes start biting against my face like tiny pinpricks, and I grip onto the reins even tighter. “This wasn’t exactly my wish—I was just trying to be a good sport. In fact—”
Before I can finish my sentence, Symphony has picked up speed, and I find myself wondering why the hell Rowan didn’t try to teach me how to ride or anything like that. Maybe he thinks it’s easy, but my heart is pounding fast, and my palms are sweating something fierce against the worn, soft leather of the reins. I whip back around to see the mountains ahead of us, and soon Rowan is alongside me, astride Calliope. I’m sitting stiff as a plank, but I hear Rowan’s voice coming to me. I zone in on what he’s saying even though my brain still feels dizzy, like I might up and fall off of this damn horse after all.
“All right, city princess. Just relax.” Rowan steers the horse next to me and takes part of the reins even as I’m still holding them. “You’ll spook Symphony real good if you keep sitting like that. Just relax. If you need to tense something up, tense your abs and lean forward just a little bit.”