Linebacker’s Second Chance(37)
I keep silent, because for once in my career, I don’t know the answer to a question like that—and the truth might be something more terrifying than I want to face.
“Let’s just get through tonight. Go on up there, get yourself dressed, and greet Kinley with a smile. Go on now.”
“Will you come up there for the party?” he asks.
I shake my head. “I better keep my ass out of this one. I’ve done enough damage.”
It’s on that note that Mack walks back up the hill to his home. I watch as Kinley’s car pulls up, as the caterers drive off. Balloons go up, tents full of food, a table filled with gifts that neither of them will ever use.
Could it have been us? I wonder. After a while, I do my yoga routine for the day and climb into bed, pulling my sleep mask down over my eyes and shutting out the rest of the world. It’s only nine when I drift off, thinking of Mack. But there isn’t a point in guiding him through this, and there isn’t a point in putting either of us through the pain. Sleep seems best, and so I let it take me.
***
Much later, I wake up to a gentle tapping at my window. I’m reminded of the times Macklin threw rocks at my window to wake me up, back when we were in high school. So long ago. I turn over and try to ignore the tapping, but it becomes louder, more insistent. After a few moments, I realize that it’s someone knocking my door, and it’s not just my imagination. I slip off my sleep mask and walk to the door, the very door where I saw Mack a few hours before. And there he is again. When I open the screen door and he walks in, I half-expect to smell alcohol on his breath, the sickly scent of it coming out of his pores. But no. Instead, it’s just Mack.
He’s standing there with a distant look on his face, hands in his pockets. “She left with Gabriel Quarles, the wide receiver. She did her thing, you know. She was charming, made sure Eddie saw the two of us together. Made sure she spoke to every player in the room, as nice as you could be. Showed off her ring—the one she bought, you know.” He walks over to one of the couches in the living area and leans back against it. “It would be great if it worked, I’m sure. It would all be fine. Maybe it would have worked, too, if she were someone different. I think she went off with Gabe at some point, outside or—who knows where. She doesn’t care who knows she’s getting with him, as long as she shows up and recites the lines we give her. You worked with other women like this?”
“No,” I say honestly, going to stand across from him. “I haven’t. To tell the truth, usually my guys actually get into relationships with the women we select. That’s how good a job we do… But not in this case.” The weight of my own words weigh heavy on me. Maybe I’m not as good at my job as I thought… or maybe it’s just this man standing here in front of me. I remember the taste of him on my lips, and suddenly I’m aware that I’m only wearing a t-shirt and panties. Inappropriately, a jolt of arousal crashes through me, pooling between my legs. I gulp. We’re supposed to be talking business. That’s what he came here to do. It doesn’t help that he looks model-good in a button-down shirt, or that the piney cologne he’s wearing accentuates his natural musk.
Part of me wants to ignore the whole thing and hope it goes away, but that’s not how I deal with things professionally, and it’s not how I want to deal with this.
“Don’t you think my reputation would be just as good if I was with my high school sweetheart?”
He takes a step closer, and I gulp, backing my ass up into the kitchen counter. His hand reaches out and brushes my arm, leaving a trail of gooseflesh in its path. I can’t get the taste of him out of my head, and that thing starts to take me over, the thing that makes me want more.
“This isn’t the solution…” I gasp as his hand moves down to my breast, cupping it, fingers rolling the nipple so that a glittering light takes me over and expands into the far reaches of my body. He lifts my shirt and cups both of my breasts at once, bending to put his lips on one nipple and then the other.
For a second, he pauses. “This is the only thing I want right now, Renata. I want to finally dive into you. I want to come inside of you and watch your face when I do.” He raises his head, eyes meeting mine, hands still on my breasts. “I’ve been with a few women in the years we weren’t together, but I always wanted you. And a few days ago, I went by the doctor and got tested. I’m squeaky clean, and I’m yours if you want me.”
I shiver at the thought. Mack and I always talked about our first time together, what it would be like. His skin touching mine, nothing between us. I had been so nervous about being with him—so shy and so young. I had wanted to wait until we were engaged, and then he had just disappeared. But now, I’m a grown woman, and this is what I want.