That does it! He's ready. Great! Yippee! "Before, you didn't want me because you weren't ready? Now, that you've grown, you're ready for me? How fucking convenient, Drake." I get up, angry, with shaky legs. It doesn't deter me. "I loved you. I fucking loved you! I worshipped the ground you walked on. And you knew it, too! Even before I told you, you knew how I felt about you." I swallow, my throat constricting, as my tears threaten to fall. "But you didn't care. You just took what you wanted and walked away. For eight fucking years, never once have I heard from you. Not. Once."
I start to shiver, but I'm not done. "How do you expect me to react to you, now that you want me the way I wanted you to want me eight years ago? Did you expect me to jump for joy because you've changed your mind about me? Newsflash, the world doesn't revolve around you and your wishes. You can go fuck yourself!" I start to walk out of the living room, wiping my tears away, when his words stop me.
"I went to visit you once. That same year. It was Christmas Eve, but you were wrapped up with some guy. I was actually a few feet away. I was even surprised that you didn't notice me. Guess you were too busy with him.
"You see, I wanted to talk to you. About what happened that summer and how for six months on, I still couldn't get you out of my head. You looked happy, Lil. I thought it was for the best. I thought, when you told me you loved me then, it was just a crush. You were young. I mean, what did you know about love when you were eighteen, right? So, I did what I thought was best and left you alone."
"What guy?" I whisper, still halted on the same spot. There had been no one, no one for two years after him. The only guy I hung out with was Nick, Masie's boyfriend, who became a friend, too.
"Tall, dark hair and fairly built. I didn't stay long enough to watch you with him. I couldn't stand it."
"Nick. The guy you saw me with was Nick. He's my friend's boyfriend who is a very good friend of mine." Drake went to see me. Sadness fills me in an instant. Missed opportunity … if it hadn't gone that way … maybe I wouldn't have a grudge against him. Even if he and I end up not pursuing a relationship together, at least I have some sort of closure now and not some twisted, pathetic reasoning my brain can juggle with.
A person cannot fully and truly understand the meaning of bitterness, gripping pain and raw heartache if one hasn't gone through a massive blow of rejection-the kind, where it demolishes all your confidence and self-worth. The kind, where life halts and your heart is left in that suspended time, with him, reliving memories; the good and the bad, over and over again.
I lived. I breathed. I simply existed.
That's all I was, all I've ever been, since Drake crushingly and devastatingly left me. There is nothing worse than being brushed off by someone you love so much and hold dearly, it leaves you feeling as if you're worth nothing. I've been a shell, an empty shell, because of this man. It's sad, that the moment I am back in his arms again, I feel whole, complete. How can I fathom such a trivial pursuit of happiness? Am I even capable of risking whatever that is left of me to be with Drake again?
"I'm sorry" he croak out, gutted.
I hear him move, cautiously. Paralyzed, I hold my breath as I feel his hard chest against my back, his hot breath hitting my left shoulder. "I'll do what you ask of me. Just tell me what to do. One more chance is all I ask. I know this might be too much to ask of you, but if you feel the same as I do, I want you to reconsider."
"Okay," I rasp out, my voice trembling.
"Okay, yes? I want to be with you, too? Or is it an okay, I will think about it, kind of okay?" Drake asked cautiously.
I spin around, facing his naked form. I look up at his nervous face and I can't quite look him in the eyes, my eyes drop low, looking at his chest. With my right hand, I softly press against his beating heart. "I want to be with you, but … you have to understand, that it may take longer for me to trust you. You have to earn it. This is not easy … for me to do. I know one thing that's true and that is how much I still feel about you." Choked up, I meet Drake's gaze. "Let's take this one day at a time. Is that alright with you?"
A smile starts to break across his handsome face. "You're really serious? You won't change your mind tomorrow? Because if that's the case, I don't think I can handle it."
"Well, maybe you should try and not make me change my mind, then. It certainly wouldn't hurt for you to try and be irresistible for once," I goad him.
He mildly chortles and wraps his arms around me. "You're definitely sure, Babe?" Drake presses on, needing assurance.
"I am. Happy now?"
"You bet I am." We are both laughing as our lips touch. Once our kiss deepens, our laughter dies.
Drake hungrily growls as he hoists me up. Automatically, my legs wrap around his hips. I'm out of breath almost instantly and ready to finish what we started earlier.
"Bed? Where's your bed?" Drake asks in between kisses.
"Upstairs, on the right."
Drake hurriedly takes us upstairs while we continue making out. When we accidentally bump the railing, I bust out laughing. "Calm down; you're going to get us killed."
"That should tell you how crazy I am about you." Drake smacks my ass before he grips both cheeks and grinds my mound against his raging hard-on.
In my bedroom, we both land on the bed. Drake's hands work double time on ripping my clothes off. Once I'm naked, he crawls over my body, eyes drinking me in. "Thank you," he softly speaks.
Those two words profoundly affect me. I suppose he knows how difficult it is for me to take a chance on him again.
Drake slowly and softly starts to kiss my neck. "It's my turn to worship you. I do worship the ground that you walk on, Lil. It wasn't just you, Babe."
Would it be too cheesy if I simply swell with love for him?
Drake shows me just how much he worships me, a few times, with his tongue and fingers alone. The rest, I simply lose count. We ride each other into oblivion.
17
I wake up with Drake's arm latched on to me so tight that it's impossible to move.
"Drake, I need to move." I nudge his arm to wake him up.
He whiningly groans as his mouth searches out the back of my neck, giving it a few kisses. "I love waking up next to you, too."
"It's already past noon. We have to get up." Still, he holds me tight, fingers stroking the side of my leg.
"But I want to stay in bed all day with-" He pauses, suddenly jolts and sits up. "Fuck! I forgot about Skull!"
Finally, I'm able to roll over to my other side and touch his back, stroking it. "What about Skull? Is there something wrong with him?"
Drake shakes his head. "No, but he doesn't like to be on his own in the house. That's why he stays with Mom and Dad if I'm not home." Sighing, he scrambles to his feet.
I sit up. "Wait-where are you going?" I'm baffled by his immediate withdrawal.
"Skull gets lonely. He's probably been crying all night."
Amused, I bite my lip, smiling. "Hold on. Let me get this straight. You're rushing to get home because your dog is lonely?"
Drake stands, watching my lit up face, hands on his hips, bold in all his naked glory. "Are you making fun of me?"
"Maybe, it's just that, never in a million years have I pictured you being like this, all because of a dog. It's really hot."
"Oh, yeah?" He leans over and gives me a chaste kiss on the lips. "Come with me, please? I want to spend more time with you and frankly, I'm not ready to be away from you yet."
Like I would let him leave all on his own, especially after last night …
"Give me ten minutes to shower and get ready." I slide off the bed. Not shy about my naked body in broad daylight.
Standing close to each other, Drake kisses my forehead. "Just put some clothes on. We can shower at my place."
"Fine, as long as you promise to make me lunch." I love it when he's all sweet. He makes me feel beautiful just being this way.
"Deal. Now get a move on," he says before he playfully smacking my ass loudly, shooing me away to change.
I stare at the dog, then at the owner, and then back at the dog again before I start shrieking with laughter.
I stop when Skull starts barking at me for causing such a loud commotion. Wiping my tears away, I manage to look at Drake without laughing, but my eyes dance anyways. "When you mentioned your dog's name was Skull, I was imagining a pug or a bulldog. Something manly, you know? I'm … I'm just shocked to find that Skull is a puffy brown and white Pomeranian."
Drake comes over and picks up his doggy, holding Skull against his chest before the dog gives him a few wet licks on the lips. "Show her that you're made of hard stuff, Baby," he coos.