My phone beeps to indicate a text message.
Drake.
My heart rate suddenly speeds up, I feel suffocated.
What time will you be here tonight? I forgot to ask. Miss you, Lil.
Do I still want to do this weekend thing with Drake? I do and don't, but after I saw that picture of him and Shannon together, I don't think I can do it. Hell, but the thought of having a crazy sex-fest with Drake all weekend long makes me break out with goose bumps.
I decide to text Drake back, right then and there. It's best I get it over with before I meet Jared's parents because that is a major deal for me.
Hey … I don't think that will be possible, Drake. Let's just try to move past what happened the last few days? If it's possible … I would really appreciate it. I'll see you at work Monday. Thanks.
There. I sent it. The message sounds rational and mature. When it beeps again, I shove it back in my purse. There's no point in trying to ruin my night. Drake can wait.
Mr. and Mrs. Pearson welcome me with such warmth and enthusiasm that it makes me feel guilty as hell.
Why? Drake, of course.
Abby and Warren Pearson are the epitome of soul-mates, if such a thing does exist, these two would be on the top roster. Jared has his father's structure and facial features, but he has his mother's eyes and smile.
The party for their wedding anniversary probably has about three hundred guests. It's chaotic, crazy and lively with happy chatters. It is, after all, a celebration of love. Thirty-five years of it.
Their sprawling lush garden has been transformed into a beautiful setting of white, more white, and a hint of dark purple. Each time we pass a person, Jared greets them genuinely and everyone seems pleased to meet me.
I'm seated with Jared and the rest of his relatives, which there are many of them; I have a hard time remembering their names.
"So, this is the woman that finally captured my brother's heart?" a guy says from behind me. When he comes into view, he smiles with an outstretched hand. "I'm Jared's brother, Jason."
"Lily Alexander." I take his outstretched hand and shake it.
Jason looks like Jared, except he has green eyes. If I didn't know any better, I could mistake them for twins. Jason is younger by two years, though. So, when he decides to join us at our table, I prepare myself for the mini interrogation that I'm sure is coming.
Instead, I get a whole lot of laughs. Jared and Jason together are definitely crazy fun. They joke like they are best friends. There is no sibling rivalry to speak of. Eventually everyone becomes quiet when Warren stands up with a microphone.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I just want to thank all of you for coming here to celebrate this tremendously special day with us. Thirty-five years of happiness with my Abby. Yes, people. Staying married can be done." People laugh at that, as do I. Jared reaches out for my hand and kisses it before returning his attention back to his father. I don't hear much of the rest of Warren's speech because my mind is busy intruding on my concentration.
Jared is serious about me. Taking me here, on his parent's thirty-fifth anniversary, is a monster-sized sign of that and I'm starting to like his family, too.
" … please give a toast to my beautiful wife, Abby. Ever since our first kiss on Redondo Beach, under the stars that summer, I have never looked back. I love you."
Both sons are smiling and clapping at their parents as the guests watch them kiss.
Then the real party begins. Jason hired a live band and a DJ. With good music, great company and a never-ending supply of alcohol, everyone is having a blast, including me.
When the band starts to play The Way You Look Tonight in a slow jazzy beat, Jared gets up. "Dance with me?"
Smiling, I accept. "Sure"
Jared leads us to the dance floor, wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to his chest. The music draws me in as Jared takes over my senses. With his hot breath against my ear, our breathing accelerates as we dance to the slow beat. For a while, it makes me forget the kind of emotional turmoil that I'm in.
"Thank you for coming. My family adores you," Jared says after we've danced silently for a few moments.
"They're lovely. Thank you for inviting me and sharing this significant day."
His hand grips me tighter. "God, you smell great. Lil … " Jared's breathing shifts. "I want you."
I bite my lip as I contemplate what to say to him. "I know. Give me a few weeks, then I will be … ready for you. To be with you, I mean."
Shit, did I just say that? Two weeks to get over Drake? Was that even enough time?
"Is there another man? Is that why you're so hesitant?" Jared halts when the music stops.
Reaching for my hand, he guides me towards the other end of the garden, where there are no people around. The tall trees and rose bushes make it difficult to see, but Jared knows where he's going. He stops when we get to a fountain. The smell of roses are overpowering and toying with my senses. I have to concede that roses are definitely the smell of seduction.
I'm not panicking that I'm alone with Jared in the dark, but I'm a little hesitant to tell him about Drake because if he starts shooting out questions, I may not have an answer for him. I can barely admit to most of the answers to myself … Never mind saying them out loud.
"Lily, I'm still waiting for you to answer my question." Jared is a couple of feet away from me. His hands are in his pockets, his face serious as he waits for me to speak.
Oh, fuck it. Jared deserves more than this. "A guy from my past recently came back into my life."
"An ex? Does he want you back? Where do I stand?" Jared looks devastated and I feel bad, actually, I feel like shit.
"No, not an ex, but he was my first. Things aren't really like that with us. I like you, Jared, very much." Jared pulls me up to my feet so we are facing each other.
"Alright, I understand where you are coming from, but the most important question is, do you want him back?"
Drake … I love him, but Shannon, their almost baby and the fucking past are always going to be there. When it comes down to it, I don't trust Drake not to break me again because he will. He already did once before, quite callously, too.
"No, I don't want him back," I state with conviction.
"Good. That's all I need to hear. Two weeks and you'll be mine?"
"Yes."
"Mine in two weeks, I can't wait until I can claim you as mine," Jared whispers before he takes my lips and kisses me.
The kiss is good, hungry even, but compared to Drake's … this kiss lacks something. Or maybe it's me who lacks something. Yeah, that would be my heart.
It's possible to lose your heart along the way. It dawns on me that life does go on after love. That one can go on with just a partial part of your heart─or none at all─depending on how much love you granted that person. In my case, I'm trying to scrape back what little I have left because Drake took most of it away, leaving me with the crumbs.
With that, though, I am determined to build something out of it. Maybe I'll grow another heart, another love.
16
Jared moves around the front of the car to open my door. Once I'm on the pavement, outside my townhouse, we stare at each other for a while, smiling.
"Thank you. I had a lot of fun tonight." I look at Jared before he claims my lips again.
This time, I let myself go and kiss him the way he's kissing me. Jared's hand lifts my skirt and cups my butt cheek, pushing it against his hardened state.
"Lily!" a voice barks out.
I open my eyes and find Drake fuming like a mad man ready to kill me and Jared-who happens to just let go of me. Something in Jared's eyes flares, but he composes himself. Both men measure each other up, readying for some testosterone showdown.
"Jared!" I pull him aside. "I'm sorry. Let me talk to him. I'll call you, okay?" I plead.
Jared's nose flares. "You want me to leave you with an angry man? Have you lost it? I don't trust him with you!"
No, this is not the time to be macho, damn it. "It's fine. He'll calm down. I just need to talk to him. Trust me on this one. Jared, please?"
Defeated, Jared cusses for a moment and then concedes. "Fine." He cups my cheek. "Call me, anytime, if something happens, okay?" He leans over and gives me another tongue lashing kiss.
"Thank you," I whisper to Jared before he gets in his car and drives off.
I stand on the pavement and watch until I can't see the lights of Jared's car. Then I turn around to deal with the ever present mistake, my problem.
"How dare you, Drake!" I screech at him.
His eyes are screaming bloody murder, but that doesn't scare me a bit. "How dare me? How dare you, Lily! You were barely out of my bed before you jump into another man's arms! How fucking dare YOU!" Drake spits back at me, glaring.